Romance

[she1slander]

Thank you.

I suppose always is a tricky word to use but if I were to write 'You've sometimes listened, you've sometiems cared' it doesn't quite have the same ring to it, haha.

No, I think it totally makes sense. ''Sometimes'' sounds a little half-hearted if you ask me. If you used 'sometimes' instead of 'always', it wouldn't suit the tone even though the latter would be less accurate. I mean, if you feel that way about the person in general or majority of the time you're around her, then I think it sounds like you're confident and sure. I've noticed that with a lot of love/romance poems and they tend to be almost definite or exact with the words they use when addressing the person they truly desire. 'Cause why else would they even target the one they're writing about and create a tone with uncertainty? It wouldn't make sense. lol ::

A beautiful poem, you have a gift for poetry...

It also makes me think that if I were the girl addressed here it would feel like 'enormous pressure' lol! Beauty can fade... 'always' is a tricky word too... usually girls have 'ups and downs' too, especially if you live together with someone...

In a way, this girl is lucky to have your appreciation and your love... do try to not idealize people though, it can feel 'lonely' on a pedestal, or undearneath one.. if you understand?

If the girl's confident and believes herself to be beautiful, she wouldn't feel a lot of pressure because she doesn't need other people's validation. I mean, if he calls her beautiful, then it must mean more than just how she appears to him for the most part. 'Beauty is skin-deep' because although, it may fade, what makes a person 'beautiful' in someone else's eyes is discovering it for themselves. It helps draw attention away from the physical flaws that may already be present and showing what's inside them that's beautiful. ::

Does anyone else find it completely unnecessary and cringe worthy to see someone change their facebook status from single to "in a relationship with..." I mean...congrats and all that...but is the announcement of your love life really that crucial?

It really depends on you and how much of your personal and love life do you want people to know about. If you're someone insecure about your love life, don't change your status or include it anywhere, nor mention the person's name you're involved with. I think people who are comfortable with sharing any personal information wouldn't mind announcing it. It never surprises me when I see some of my friends, especially those who like the attention, display it on their status and even on their profile pictures. It's not like it's a need since facebook is really like opening the doors for people you may or may not know very well to enter your personal space. You're the one giving them permission to access it.

Oh and the part about announcing your love life, is it crucial or not, ask yourself? Who do you want to know about what's going on with your love life? Do you want people to know that you're with so and so? If not, then consider how so and so feels when you decide to keep in amongst yourselves. Online is different and it's optional esp. if privacy is a big deal to you.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I posted a variation of this in the 'Texts, Poems, Dreams, Phrases...' forum. What do you think of it?

Your beauty to me is beyond compare,
Your face, your eyes, your long, black hair,
At a time in my life when I felt scared,
You’ve always listened, you’ve always cared.

Kindness like yours is not easily found,
Long lost and buried beneath the ground,
In a world full of darkness, you shine so bright,
Just like a firefly deep in the night.

I’ve cherished every word you’ve spoken,
In this society creaking and broken,
You’ve always made me feel so warm,
Like a bright ray of light you’ve calmed this storm.

There is no picture I could take,
Nor no sculpture I could make,
That could give justice to your face,
Full of life and full of grace.

If only you knew my feelings for you,
They are so strong, they are so true,
If only you knew quite what you mean to me,
And how big a smile that you bring to me...

It's a lovely poem, emre.

Only bit I'm not sure about it is "Nor no sculpture I could make". Doesn't "Nor no" constitute a double negative, suggesting that there is in fact a sculpture you could make? Reading it, it just felt like "Nor a" would work better.

 

[emre43]

It's a lovely poem, emre.

Only bit I'm not sure about it is "Nor no sculpture I could make". Doesn't "Nor no" constitute a double negative, suggesting that there is in fact a sculpture you could make? Reading it, it just felt like "Nor a" would work better.

Yeah, I think you're right there actually, thanks.

 

[SAM2011]

I think there is nothing wrong with announcing if your in a relationship with someone on facebook. I use my facebook for just family and friends. I don't just add random strangers. It depends on the type of person you are I guess. I think if you don't like seeing relationship statuses on facebook, its probably because you know they have found someone to announce on facebook and you don't.

 

[twiggle]

I don't think there's any problem with putting a relationship on Facebook. It's only stupid when people consider it as 'what makes it official'. And there are some people who change their relationship statii alllllll the time.
(Says me. Somebody who is 'married' to another woman on FB as a joke )

Anyway, about the romance thing... I've been thinking about it a lot lately. As somebody who normally speaks about how glad I am to be independent and free, I have spent the past couple of days thinking that maybe actually, it would be nice to have somebody. But the thought of chocolates/candlelit dinners... eurgh. I don't like it. For example, some guys draw pictures of girls they like as a romantic gesture, but if one were to draw me I'd rather it be in the form of a mocking cartoon.
That to me is romance.
But I'm not sure how many guys out there think the way I do.

 

[KiaKaha]

I don't think there's any problem with putting a relationship on Facebook. It's only stupid when people consider it as 'what makes it official'. And there are some people who change their relationship statii alllllll the time.

This is what I was really getting at. I know someone who has a new relationship every 2 months (so it seems) and she is so PROUD that she has a new boyfriend she cant wait to change the "official facebook status" from single to "being in a relationship" - its just very obvious...but facebook is pretty inane all around in my opinion. Anyway...blah blah blah etc etc so on and so forth...

 

[Kinetik]

I think people value true equality these days - or as close to equality as the gender war will allow. In that sense, chivalric romance might feel contrived to a number of women. Ultimately, I believe most people want to be treated as just that, people - and there is a certain de-humanizing aspect to old school romance that might make some folks uncomfortable. Additionally, it can bring a lot of pressure, with regards to everything having to be a perfect fairytale, whereas a lot of people want to be able to be human and make mistakes.

Regardless, I think we can all agree that quoting Donny Osmond is a big no-no. ::

 

[MikeyC]

As somebody who normally speaks about how glad I am to be independent and free, I have spent the past couple of days thinking that maybe actually, it would be nice to have somebody.

Yeah, I get sparks of similar thoughts. I think we are designed to be loved and doted on, and it's always nice to have someone love us. Human nature.

 

[emre43]

Regardless, I think we can all agree that quoting Donny Osmond is a big no-no. ::

Haha, I know, it was said tongue in cheek; I wouldn't say it in a real life conversation with somebody .

 

[Ambere]

I guess it really depends on what you mean by romance, I personally am a hopeless romantic. It could be a romantic walk at the beach or txting a girl to tell her how beautiful she is. I think romance is extremely important in a relationship but not all romance is over the top, it just needs to be something that tells her she's important to you. Also you don't need to be romantic all the time actually occasionally makes it better because then your doing something out of the ordinary to show her you love her or like her.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I used to make romantic gestures daily for my guy.

I haven't heard any romantic stories from friends with boyfriends, though... or my mom in her relationships.
I think people equate 'romance with money' and think they have to have lots of money to be able to be romantic every day; so they don't bother trying.

 

[MrJones]

I want to learn to play the piano and sing Elton John's "Your Song" to someone special.


If she wants to listen or not it's not up to me

 

[Aletheia]

Ultimately, I believe most people want to be treated as just that, people - and there is a certain de-humanizing aspect to old school romance that might make some folks uncomfortable. Additionally, it can bring a lot of pressure, with regards to everything having to be a perfect fairytale, whereas a lot of people want to be able to be human and make mistakes.

A pedestal is a precarious place, and one few people would want. The freedom to be fallible is priceless.

Regardless, I think we can all agree that quoting Donny Osmond is a big no-no. ::

*laughs*

I think people equate 'romance with money' and think they have to have lots of money to be able to be romantic every day; so they don't bother trying.

For me it has nothing to do with money, and much more to do with...

the small , every day gestures

... the myriad little ways in which you tend your relationship and show your beloved you care.

It's how to keep the fire burning.

 

[upndwn]

Most people I see in relationship aren't really that in love but rather sticks together for pragmatic reasons or a fear of being alone. There are a few of course who truly love each other but it seems to be a rare thing in this day and age where everyone is looking for their next high and easily discards yesterdays taste for the flavor of the week.

I haven't given up on romance yet, but I think it is slowly dying in a society that is encouraging individualism in place of solidarity.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Everyone has a different idea of what romance should be or what romance actually consists of it seems.

My idea of romance might be different from yours. The older i get, the less fairytale-like romance needs to be...simply doing the laundry and putting it away instead of waiting for me to do it feels like romance to me. lol

I think romance is NOT dead,i just think peoples idea of what romance should be is a little too idealistic and lofty sometimes and they overlook the "smaller" romantic gestures. Everyone wants that big romantic gesture that makes them swoon and fall on the fainting couch.

But what about the little things? What about when someone orders your favorite cup of coffee and brings it to you? what about that text in the middle of day that just tells you that you're loved and someone is thinking of you? What about when someone cleans the bathroom for you because they know how much you hate doing it? What about the guy who will take the dog out when it's snowing or raining just so you don't get cold and wet?

THOSE are the romantic things that really count in big picture to me and those are the things that tell me romance is still alive and kicking.

 

[twiggle]

The guy I felt most suited to in my whole life (who I never actually got with yet still adored immensely) met me on my way back to my room after a night out with a portion of chips and a can of coke (the things I usually bought for myself after a night out). That was romance to me, even though it probably sounds ridiculous to others. We really liked each other. It never happened. He's engaged with a baby on the way. I've never met anybody who knew how to please me how he did. Even ex boyfriends... they usually just went by the traditional stuff (flowers etc), I don't think they knew me at all.

 

[Iluv]

... met me on my way back to my room after a night out with a portion of chips and a can of coke (the things I usually bought for myself after a night out). That was romance to me,

Awe, see, that's what I find romantic. Sort of like me in the sense I could give a care less about flowers and chocolates, but if he shows up with a bag of chinese food and a horror movie. A+ in my books, he knows me. ::

 

[Section_31]

Romance doesnt need to be expensive.

My lady and me sometimes go for walks around the mall together jsut because, not buying anything, just enjoying looking at things together.

We got our world of warcraft toon's married dorky, i know, but it was somthing we did that we thought was both funny and sweet.

When i know shes had a really rough day, i always show up with a stabies in hand when i pick her up from uni. I now all her favourites and mix it up, but i dont do it every time i pick her up, i like to keep her guessing .

Lingerie shopping with your girl can be very romantic indeed. And fun. Pay attention to what kinds of things she likes. Heck, dont be afraid to say "i think you'd look really hot in this". Women want feedback!

Now, this next one, i dont blame guys at all for not doing it. Honestly, its a chick thing, i know that. But on a date i love taking my girl nail polish shopping and helping her pick out colors. Just somthign i enjoy doing with her, and i can see the happiness it brings her when i show real interest in her hobbies. That and ive gotten some pretty big smiles from the cashier girls too, LOL

Make dinner together. Sure, its usually a one person job. But cooking together can be romantic in itself. Especially if you have a playful low key food fight, LOL.

Once, after a heavy snowfall, i got up way earlier than her and shovelled a path from our front walk all the way to the bus stop so her feet wouldnt get cold. Maybe dorky, but i know she hates cold feet.

Theres so many little, creative things you can do. Just takes some thought .

My favourite was, on our anniversary last yr i had a star named after her. It didnt cost much at all, and we got a certificate with space coordinates and everything to locate it in the night sky. I thought it was a nice gesture. I love her and wanted her to know its forever (to me).

Just my thoughts.

 

[twiggle]

Awe, see, that's what I find romantic. Sort of like me in the sense I could give a care less about flowers and chocolates, but if he shows up with a bag of chinese food and a horror movie. A+ in my books, he knows me. ::

Yeahhhh you're on my wavelength.
And you've also made me want some chicken chow mein right now.

It's all about the creativity and thought and if there's a bit of humour thrown in there too it's even better.

 

[MikeyC]

My idea of romance might be different from yours. The older i get, the less fairytale-like romance needs to be...simply doing the laundry and putting it away instead of waiting for me to do it feels like romance to me. lol

You're easy to please, haha.

But what about the little things? What about when someone orders your favorite cup of coffee and brings it to you? what about that text in the middle of day that just tells you that you're loved and someone is thinking of you? What about when someone cleans the bathroom for you because they know how much you hate doing it? What about the guy who will take the dog out when it's snowing or raining just so you don't get cold and wet?

Some of these could just be being nice, but I do agree.

Even ex boyfriends... they usually just went by the traditional stuff (flowers etc), I don't think they knew me at all.

I don't think they didn't know you, but maybe they were doing what they thought was romantic.