Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
If ah did’nae huv my music in my life, I’d probably be deid or in jail...

The lack of sleep is annoying when you got so many musicial ideas in yer head that ya want to record but can’t because you’d end up waking yer family. On that note, I haven’t slept a wink. :LOL: Pardon the pun...
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
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PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Yep, I never watched Breaking Bad either 😊
but I was a huge fan of Lost.

Maybe I can safely let it all out in here and publicly admit (for the first time) that I have also never watched a series of........ dare I say it..........



The Walking Dead

:eek:

But I do regret not getting around to watching them. Does that redeem me in societies eyes? :unsure: 😬
Wait..what??.. you haven't seen TWD???

And here I was thinking you and I were friends... ;)
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I think this semester is the best semester I have ever had in college. I'm not just saying that because it's my last one, but I feel like I have accomplished more this semester than I have in my entire 5 years I've been at this uni, 7 years in college total. I got high marks on my thesis paper and was told that I needed to utilize my writing skills somewhere in my career, by even potentially becoming a grant writer somewhere along the line. I've gotten high marks on my other projects as well. I was specifically chosen to lead a culinary project working with a trade program with all special needs students -- I had help with this from a couple of my peers, and of course I was nervous about it, but still the fact that I was presented with the opportunity felt pretty good. The teacher of this program liked our ideas so much she wants us to come back in a couple weeks and do another project with her students, which is awesome. I never thought that I would even like teaching, but a part of me does and it might be something else to look into for my future. I'm not sure how I could do it with my anxiety though.

My professor also has been pushing me this entire semester to contribute to class discussions. Starting out, I hated it. I hate hate hate talking in front of people. I used to get harassed by professors in my past school years for this, and it just made it worse. This semester was different though. My professor this semester isn't so insulting like everyone else I've had before. She's very patient and actually listens to me, even when I struggle to articulate my thoughts. My peers aren't so bad either. I mean I still don't love it, and I would much rather stay quiet. But somehow I feel respected more...? I don't know how to describe it. I guess maybe people think I have a brain after all? I just have noticed people talking to me more this semester than I have ever been addressed in the last 5 years. It's weird, but it feels good.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
After all these years you would think I'd know better than to keep setting myself up for disappointment. I don't know why I always think my family will be different or change with each visit. Why? It's such a stupid little hope that I can never let go of. Because a stupid part of me is still 5 years old yearning for love and attention from my own family. Pretty stupid thing to want at 26 isn't it?

Caring about anyone other than themselves never existing in the house growing up. Why would that be any different?
 
I'm always suspicious when a dog doesn't like me, but not of the dog.


I believe dogs can sense extreme sadness and despair in humans.

Maybe this dog is having a really bad day itself, and just thought .......

"Nah, I'm sorry human, I can't vigorously wag my tail and snuggle up to your legs today. I know you weird humans love it when us dogs do that for you when we sense you are just swimming in sadness - but not today. I haven't been able to do a doo doo for 3 days, and my tummy aches. That woofing-sexy-lady-dog I walked past on our walk yesterday, didn't even give me a 1 second glance, and I can't find any of my old chewing bones I have buried in the back yard. If I get close to your despair and I absorb some of it today, I may just dig an extra deep hole in the backyard and bury myself in it". *sniff, sniff*

So don't jump to any bad conclusions about yourself from this dogs reaction to you, Fountain. Even animals have bad days.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I believe dogs can sense extreme sadness and despair in humans.

Maybe this dog is having a really bad day itself, and just thought .......

"Nah, I'm sorry human, I can't vigorously wag my tail and snuggle up to your legs today. I know you weird humans love it when us dogs do that for you when we sense you are just swimming in sadness - but not today. I haven't been able to do a doo doo for 3 days, and my tummy aches. That woofing-sexy-lady-dog I walked past on our walk yesterday, didn't even give me a 1 second glance, and I can't find any of my old chewing bones I have buried in the back yard. If I get close to your despair and I absorb some of it today, I may just dig an extra deep hole in the backyard and bury myself in it". *sniff, sniff*

So don't jump to any bad conclusions about yourself from this dogs reaction to you, Fountain. Even animals have bad days.

Always know you're appreciated, Blue. :LOL:
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I seriously want to get my life moving again. I realize that being a slave to the system isn't ideal, but in the end what else can I do? Unless I come into a large amount of money that is, which I don't expect to happen.. (damn you reality!)

I also understand being socially isolated isn't a good thing. It has obvious negative side effects. So I was looking at a meetup group for people who have SA. (Yes people do turn up lol). They often just go out for lunch or mini golf etc. This upcoming meet they are going to the 'pancake kitchen'. Now 2 points here.
1) I've been there previously, the pancakes suck.
2) and... there's already 11 members signed up to turn up.

I'm actually keen to meet people, especially knowing they suffer from SA too. But turning up to a group of almost a dozen people who probably already know each other and I'm the newbie?? Thats almost my worst case SA nightmare :LOL:
The meet before that, they met at a Vietnamese restaurant and only 4 people went. I would have so gone.. as I love Vietnamese food and meeting 4 people for the first time.. well I think I could do that. So.. I'm not going to this pancake meet. But I'll push myself to go to a meet when I see the group is smaller, no matter where they gather.
Damn you SA...
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I seriously want to get my life moving again. I realize that being a slave to the system isn't ideal, but in the end what else can I do? Unless I come into a large amount of money that is, which I don't expect to happen.. (damn you reality!)

I also understand being socially isolated isn't a good thing. It has obvious negative side effects. So I was looking at a meetup group for people who have SA. (Yes people do turn up lol). They often just go out for lunch or mini golf etc. This upcoming meet they are going to the 'pancake kitchen'. Now 2 points here.
1) I've been there previously, the pancakes suck.
2) and... there's already 11 members signed up to turn up.

I'm actually keen to meet people, especially knowing they suffer from SA too. But turning up to a group of almost a dozen people who probably already know each other and I'm the newbie?? Thats almost my worst case SA nightmare :LOL:
The meet before that, they met at a Vietnamese restaurant and only 4 people went. I would have so gone.. as I love Vietnamese food and meeting 4 people for the first time.. well I think I could do that. So.. I'm not going to this pancake meet. But I'll push myself to go to a meet when I see the group is smaller, no matter where they gather.
Damn you SA...

I'd be surprised if six people show up, but when it comes to my symptoms, two is as bad as twenty.

I joined a local meetup group as well, about a month ago (of course I haven't attended any of the get-together's, I just lurk on the front page). I think the fact that fifty is over the next hill (even though it's still eight years away) is starting to motivate me to try a normal life one more time.

I know how my life is gonna play out, though. I've seen this pattern a few times by now and it never works.
 
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PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I'd be surprised if six people show up, but when it comes to my symptoms, two is as bad as twenty.

I joined a local meetup group as well, about a month ago (of course I haven't attended any of the get-together's, I just lurk on the front page). I think the fact that fifty is over the next hill (even though it's still eight years away) is starting to motivate me to try a normal life one more time.

I know how my life is gonna play out, though. I've seen this pattern a few times by now and it never works.
Mate.. you're only 42?? I'm 47. Never stop trying..
 
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