I'm gonna tell you something, that happened just a few hours ago, and ended now.
I'm a late bloomer. Today I had an argument with my parents, mostly my dad, mainly about money. I have a job, though I have to ask money for my group therapy and some other things. You have to know that I have arguments about money almost regularly, my dad always mocks me, becasuse I have a job, why don't I use my own money. (My payment isn't enough for anything, because of the hourly wage, only if you want to hang out once a week, and nothing else...) Eventually they agreed they'll send me money from their insurance money, but after some minutes I realized everything and I began to hate myself, because I think they'll sacrifice so much for me, and I don't deserve that money.
But I made an important discovery and stopped all my emotion-streaming. I have an elder sister and an elder brother, both of them have their own houses, own jobs, my sister is even married and has a baby. They have successful lifes and I know my dad is proud of them. My dad loves me, but he isn't proud of me, I know that.. I had an idea, and asked him to show me his job, which I didn't do earlier.
I determined that as long as he's living, I want to make him proud of me.
Just half an hour ago I felt so worthless and miserable, and now I see a purpose in my life. True story.
