#14221
You're very welcome.Vamp said: ↑Looks like u need some positive vibes as well. *sends some* 🙂 thanks man. *hug*
#14221
Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
#14221
#14222
Staying up later than normal. Haven't shaved and now my face is all scratchy. Got a call from a friend who said he might have borderline personality disorder. Had a chat to a workmate and her 14-year-old daughter. Some banter with the cops at work.
That has been my night!
That has been my night!
Karma doesn't exist.
I always try to help people out.
I never ask for anything for it...
I don't to it so that I can later hold it over people.
Or to look like Mr.Good guy.
I just like doing it.
But sometimes....when you really do need help? And the person is aware of it...it's a rather small task for them to help you..and they just really couldn't give less of a ****?
It gets to me.
Alot.
I always try to help people out.
I never ask for anything for it...
I don't to it so that I can later hold it over people.
Or to look like Mr.Good guy.
I just like doing it.
But sometimes....when you really do need help? And the person is aware of it...it's a rather small task for them to help you..and they just really couldn't give less of a ****?
It gets to me.
Alot.
twiggle said:You are still in Uni, Vamp? Then you definitely don't need to be worrying. I was the same at Uni tbh, I didn't care much for my course, I enjoyed it but not to the extent that I felt sure I'd have a career in it. It was only a couple of years after graduation that I worked out what I wanted to do and even now I feel like my mind could quite easily change :😛: You will probably find the same, once you have graduated and you enter the world of work, in whatever form, you will start to realise what you like and don't like about jobs and then you can find something that better suits your interests. Or you could do something else entirely, like volunteer abroad for a bit!
The reality is that very few people are certain about what it is they want to do - such as people who study medicine etc. A lot of people will practise a whole variety of occupations in their life and many people end up doing something they didn't expect to. When I speak to the people at my work about what they've done in the past, many of them have changed sectors several times.
Besides, it's more fun to keep your options open than to know exactly what you're going to be doing.🙂
As for other people... just remember that things aren't always what they seem. I have a couple of friends who left University and went straight into their dream jobs with their good salaries but now complain that they don't really know what they want.
Just relax and take your time in figuring these things out. That's how you'll make a more informed choice and better decisions. The world really is your oyster. Same goes for you, Mikey.
It doesn't help that I tried to talk about this to my mom, and tell her pretty much what u're saying, and she completely freaked out "OMG u'll do nothing in life! u can't change ur direction now! what u gonna do, sit on ur laptop ur whole life???!"
She think just because im in art college and im good at what I'm doing, I'll be some famous painter one day, and that I should paint canvas and walls and do 'art' stuff all day long cause apparently thats my only future and only thing im talented at. I don't enjoy it that much..I don't see how i'm going to make money out of it, I see no real perspective...fvck. This gets me so down.🙁
#14225
GhastlyCC said: ↑Karma doesn't exist.
I always try to help people out.
I never ask for anything for it...
I don't to it so that I can later hold it over people.
Or to look like Mr.Good guy.
I just like doing it.
But sometimes....when you really do need help? And the person is aware of it...it's a rather small task for them to help you..and they just really couldn't give less of a ****?
It gets to me.
Alot.
hello,
maybe karma exists and you'll get all the nice things you deserve in your next life. i don't know if I believe in such thing, but its a possibility.
#14226
Vamp said: ↑Thanks twiggle:) you're right. It's just that sometimes..I really envy these people who are sure about their future, know what they want to do, have a job that they love....I'm in uni studying for smth im not sure i'll be succesful with later on in life...it sucks cause I can't even think of something that i would REALLY like to do, enjoy, and be good at. I don't wanna be one of those ppl who hate their job...
you know, most of those that you envy can only be keeping a facade of certainty. truth is, they've given up their dreams for what is practical and mainstream. they've convinced themselves that their passion is nothing but wishful thinking that's why they feel settled. majority of the people i know have the same life goals- income and family. they're willing to get stuck in a monotonous routine as long as it offers security. they live generic lives.
also, very few people love their jobs, to say the least. the fact that you're looking for what you want means you're already one step ahead of them. you've got nothing to envy.
#14227
Vamp said: ↑It doesn't help that I tried to talk about this to my mom, and tell her pretty much what u're saying, and she completely freaked out "OMG u'll do nothing in life! u can't change ur direction now! what u gonna do, sit on ur laptop ur whole life???!"
lol. sounds like my mom. i told her that i wanted to take masters in psychology or get a degree in culinary arts instead of continuing my career path in business. she didn't exactly freak out but she thought i was kidding. whenever we speak about it, she always shrugs it off like it's a joke. that's the hardest part btw. people hate anything unorthodox.
#14228
Vamp said: ↑It doesn't help that I tried to talk about this to my mom, and tell her pretty much what u're saying, and she completely freaked out "OMG u'll do nothing in life! u can't change ur direction now! what u gonna do, sit on ur laptop ur whole life???!"
She think just because im in art college and im good at what I'm doing, I'll be some famous painter one day, and that I should paint canvas and walls and do 'art' stuff all day long cause apparently thats my only future and only thing im talented at. I don't enjoy it that much..I don't see how i'm going to make money out of it, I see no real perspective...fvck. This gets me so down.🙁
I'm sorry she said that. I agree with twiggle maybe she isn't realising what's right for you. My mom constantly tells me that I'm ruining my life by studying psychology and I'm making a big mistake.
#14229
This is so true. But if you want to study something you like better then go for it.montejocarlo said: ↑people hate anything unorthodox.
I should be going to trapeze club or to the market to buy some fruit and veg, but I feel like staying in bed surfing on the internet. It's so much easier to avoid things than face anxiety.
But I do feel disappointed in myself and one day will want to start facing life so this is just making it harder. 🙄
But I do feel disappointed in myself and one day will want to start facing life so this is just making it harder. 🙄
#14231
Yeah, I know that feeling. I need to start facing my fears instead avoiding them too. But its just so hard.sara226 said: ↑I should be going to trapeze club or to the market to buy some fruit and veg, but I feel like staying in bed surfing on the internet. It's so much easier to avoid things than face anxiety.
But I do feel disappointed in myself and one day will want to start facing life so this is just making it harder. 🙄
#14232
One of my fish tanks has been cloudy for a couple of days. I woke up this morning to find one of my Australian rainbow fish dead. So I moved the other two into my big 29 gallon tank. I separated them in the first place because there was a lot of fighting going on. Hopefully that doesn't happen again. I've also got a handful of baby platys that I don't want to get eaten.
#14233
I'm feeling a great lonliness. Birthdays tend to do this (was yesterday not today). The actual birthday wasn't too bad; spent it with the family at a very good Japanese restaurant, though my brother really didn't want to be there, so he kind of ruined the mood, as he tends to always do with every family gathering.
It's the big 21st milestone birthday,which kind of made me depressed today when I think how little people I intereact with. Just family, and a couple of friends whom I'm the third wheel, though I appreciate that they sporadically invite me places about once a month. Even though circumstances change, I feel like I'm in stasis. Every situation I'm just the weird ostracised guy. Every time I try to break out my shell, I just create mor painful memories of humilation that I'll need to supress. As a young adult, I don't think I've ever been intimate with someone before( I don't mean sexually, but reveal how I've trully felt). I don't have anyone to confide to. 21, and I can't escape that stupid trajectory as the archetypal loser.
I am crying now.
It's the big 21st milestone birthday,which kind of made me depressed today when I think how little people I intereact with. Just family, and a couple of friends whom I'm the third wheel, though I appreciate that they sporadically invite me places about once a month. Even though circumstances change, I feel like I'm in stasis. Every situation I'm just the weird ostracised guy. Every time I try to break out my shell, I just create mor painful memories of humilation that I'll need to supress. As a young adult, I don't think I've ever been intimate with someone before( I don't mean sexually, but reveal how I've trully felt). I don't have anyone to confide to. 21, and I can't escape that stupid trajectory as the archetypal loser.
I am crying now.
#14234
Srijita52 said: ↑This is so true. But if you want to study something you like better then go for it.
i most likely will but i don't know when. i don't really have a plan. lol
#14235
How_slow_the_Wind said: ↑I'm feeling a great lonliness. Birthdays tend to do this (was yesterday not today). The actual birthday wasn't too bad; spent it with the family at a very good Japanese restaurant, though my brother really didn't want to be there, so he kind of ruined the mood, as he tends to always do with every family gathering.
It's the big 21st milestone birthday,which kind of made me depressed today when I think how little people I intereact with. Just family, and a couple of friends whom I'm the third wheel, though I appreciate that they sporadically invite me places about once a month. Even though circumstances change, I feel like I'm in stasis. Every situation I'm just the weird ostracised guy. Every time I try to break out my shell, I just create mor painful memories of humilation that I'll need to supress. As a young adult, I don't think I've ever been intimate with someone before( I don't mean sexually, but reveal how I've trully felt). I don't have anyone to confide to. 21, and I can't escape that stupid trajectory as the archetypal loser.
I am crying now.
First of all Happy Birthday!🙂
I can relate to you with birthdays ,in the last couple of years it got me more depressed than happy,it's like a reminder of all the failure I had in my live :🙁:
#14236
How_slow_the_Wind said: ↑As a young adult, I don't think I've ever been intimate with someone before( I don't mean sexually, but reveal how I've trully felt). I don't have anyone to confide to. 21, and I can't escape that stupid trajectory as the archetypal loser.
me too. that's why most of my emotions get stuck inside me. and it keeps piling on one after another. it's always a horrible site whenever it bursts out.
How_slow_the_Wind said: ↑I am crying now.
i hope you feel better after that.
#14237
Boby said: ↑First of all Happy Birthday!🙂
I can relate to you with birthdays ,in the last couple of years it got me more depressed than happy,it's like a reminder of all the failure I had in my live :🙁:
montejocarlo said: ↑me too. that's why most of my emotions get stuck inside me. and it keeps piling on one after another. it's always a horrible site whenever it bursts out.
i hope you feel better after that.
Thanks you guys. I do feel a little bit better after shedding a few tears. Crying is quite cathartic. I just don't think I can truly get to know someone, because true honesty would be unleashing all the lame anxieties nobody wants to hear. But if you don't get to know anyone, thats how the anixieties build, so its a seemingly endless cycle.
#14238
Happy belated birthday. Maybe you can make it a point toHow_slow_the_Wind said: ↑I'm feeling a great lonliness. Birthdays tend to do this (was yesterday not today). The actual birthday wasn't too bad; spent it with the family at a very good Japanese restaurant, though my brother really didn't want to be there, so he kind of ruined the mood, as he tends to always do with every family gathering.
It's the big 21st milestone birthday,which kind of made me depressed today when I think how little people I intereact with. Just family, and a couple of friends whom I'm the third wheel, though I appreciate that they sporadically invite me places about once a month. Even though circumstances change, I feel like I'm in stasis. Every situation I'm just the weird ostracised guy. Every time I try to break out my shell, I just create mor painful memories of humilation that I'll need to supress. As a young adult, I don't think I've ever been intimate with someone before( I don't mean sexually, but reveal how I've trully felt). I don't have anyone to confide to. 21, and I can't escape that stupid trajectory as the archetypal loser.
I am crying now.
break out your shell and get what you want. Its hard to get rid of anxiety completely but it can be reduced by taking small steps. Good luck 🙂
#14239
Mom is officially obsessed with Deepak Chopra.
I remember when she was watching the Oprah's life class special... 2 weeks ago?
I walked by the livingroom and said; 'oh, it's Deepak!'
Mom was in shock that I knew of him.
She's constantly in shock that I know about things... as if my 24 years on this Earth were spent with my eyes and ears closed or something.
(and by 24 years-- I mean... over 9000, because I am a Unicorn.)
I remember when she was watching the Oprah's life class special... 2 weeks ago?
I walked by the livingroom and said; 'oh, it's Deepak!'
Mom was in shock that I knew of him.
She's constantly in shock that I know about things... as if my 24 years on this Earth were spent with my eyes and ears closed or something.
(and by 24 years-- I mean... over 9000, because I am a Unicorn.)
#14240
F u c k this.......