Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

That nap felt so much longer than two hours that I checked the date to be assured it wasn't in fact a 26 hour nap. It was not.

I just can't and do not believe in love.
Ew, what the heck am I watching on TV too. Trash TV. >_< It's all that's on. Look, oh, they're fighting over alcohol............... LOL.
This world is entertaining.

well im abit relieved coz i thought i was going to be DEAD MEAT at work.. turns out i can still can clean up and catch up with my slacking off......... so, another chance 🙂

i want to make a fresh start i really do. its really hard.. its really hard to have peace of mind and not be angry and start from square 1 and accept myself and work on myself again......

It's been more than a year that ive been so angry... and i still have anger left, and i dont want to say goodbye to that anger yet... but i want to too... im afraid that if i start a new again, i'm just gonna disappoint myself and tell myself 'why even bother'....

Like what happened before and what happens over and over...

and when i fail again, i will kick myself even harder and the spiral will be steeper

Hopefully, each year i grow wiser...


Move 10 steps forward, move 9 steps back, move 10 steps forward, move 9 steps back...

Hopefully..... Coz it hasn't felt very straight...

But im going to try...

fffffffffffffffff--- how often do I ask you to do me a favor, little brother?
I've even agreed to pay you for gas both ways.
And yet-- getting your hair cut and helping your friend' move things in his garage' is more important?

I am frustrated and NOW I have plenty of ****ing time to panic.
I think I'll just chicken out again and never bother trying to leave the house-- NEVER see my only friend ever again.
That would be fine, right?
You have 50 'close friends' and see them every day-- I have one and see her once every three years but it's not important to help me surprise her on her birthday, neh?
I will just stay in my room alone, crying forever. That SUITS me, right?!

Iluv said: ↑

I just can't and do not believe in love.

It can appear to be like that a lot of times. It depends on our own experiences.

I can promise you, love exists. Love is out there, waiting for you. Maybe you have it easier than you think, who knows. Just don't give up. I can tell you, love is out there, it doens't matter how many people hate, there will always be people who love. I know because I do, and I assume you do too. We just need to find other people like us to share our love.

WeirdyMcGee said: ↑

fffffffffffffffff--- how often do I ask you to do me a favor, little brother?
I've even agreed to pay you for gas both ways.
And yet-- getting your hair cut and helping your friend' move things in his garage' is more important?

I am frustrated and NOW I have plenty of ****ing time to panic.
I think I'll just chicken out again and never bother trying to leave the house-- NEVER see my only friend ever again.
That would be fine, right?
You have 50 'close friends' and see them every day-- I have one and see her once every three years but it's not important to help me surprise her on her birthday, neh?
I will just stay in my room alone, crying forever. That SUITS me, right?!

Your brother sounds very inconsiderate :🙁:

If I was there I'd gladly help you in anything you wanted.

I don't want to go to school 3: Maarrggg! I haven't studied for the test enough so not going to take it/disappoint teacher who has been telling me to take it for soo long, blarghhy! Smargh.

Tonight's dinner was pretty good. Luckily I made enough of it for two nights.

My brain is tired. I'm getting sick of having all of these creative ideas and motivation come up at once, and then having it all putter out within 5 - 10 mins. I wrote them down this time though. I mean, hey, at least it's nothing. My creativity is surely coming back, just not in the way I want it to. It's taking too long!

couldn't sleep last night. so close to having a panic attack.

montejocarlo said: ↑

couldn't sleep last night. so close to having a panic attack.

That's awful. If you want to talk I'm here and I hope you feel better soon 🙂

Srijita52 said: ↑

That's awful. If you want to talk I'm here and I hope you feel better soon 🙂

i feel better now. i was able to sleep after midnight. thanks! 🙂

i think it might have something to do with the full moon. lol

montejocarlo said: ↑

i feel better now. i was able to sleep after midnight. thanks! 🙂

i think it might have something to do with the full moon. lol

lol I'm glad you're feeling better 🙂

Srijita52 said: ↑

lol I'm glad you're feeling better 🙂

yeah. what about you? you said you were feeling a bit down yesterday... feeling better now?

montejocarlo said: ↑

yeah. what about you? you said you were feeling a bit down yesterday... feeling better now?

Yeah, I'm feeling better now, just having a lazy day, thanks 🙂

I feel like my life is going no where. I have no motivations and don't have anything I really want to do. I wish I were one of those people who grew up knowing what they wanted to do or be. I'm just switching major to major until someone tells me which one is a good idea, because I don't know what would be good for me. Ughh, just let me win the lottery so I can live an average life and give the rest to what I love/would love doing - supporting and helping others who can't help themselves/good causes.

His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand

Why does my heart cry
Feelings I can't fight
You're free to leave me
But just don't deceive me
And please believe me when I say
I love you

I find it kinda annoying how the minichat minimizes itself when you're in the middle of a sentence. Especially when you were about to remove a few letters and don't notice it had minimized, since backspace also functions as a Page-Back hotkey, refreshing everything and loosing whatever you wrote.

I'm an idiot.

I saw a smudge on my right lens, so I took off my glasses, turned it around so the front was facing me, and cleaned the left one (since that was now on the right side).

I repeated this 4 time before I realized why it wasn't getting any cleaner. Lmao.