Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

haha i did =)

A Christmas Story was on for 24 hours and I only saw about 20 minutes of it. That's a record. I usually watch it at lease twice on Christmas.

People who are optimistic cannot really be with someone who is pessimism. Pessimium is negative thinking were as optimistic people think positive. For me being with someone who is a pessimisum will only bring me down. Could you really be with someone is is un-happy all the time and only thinks negative? It would drive me crazy being with someone who is negative and doesn't have a positive outlook on things. What do you all think about this?

^ so, are you saying that you are not pessimistic? Pessimism can be counter-productive, and it is not true that it is really just realism. Optimism is better psychologically. If you thing that optimism can be unrealistic sometimes, then there is still a middle way between pessimism and optimism.

The number of active members shown at the bottom of the home page has fallen below 1,000 for the first time. It now stands at 999. Is this the beginning of the end?

^ someone heard me - it is now back up to 1,000.

My SA is eating away my life, I'm really really sick of it... ugh why can't I ever be normal just like everyone else!!!

You know what? Good f***ing riddance to 2011.

I was just thinking about the year gone by and there's been absolutely no progress - in all, I would say I've regressed since the beginning of the year. How did this happen? Why did I let myself fall so much? This has been a hellish year, and even January 1 was spent with a friend having a meltdown and crashing in the middle of the Gold Coast with no way of getting home. From that point it should've been a kick in the butt that this year was not going to go to plan. I mean, seriously:

-I put on weight. Somehow I'm at my heaviest and I know it's my fault, but it shows another weakness in me.
-I have lost almost all my money. I once had over $4000 to my name, all in savings, and now I'm down to as little as $400. How did I even let this happen?
-I'm more depressed. I started the year normally but now I've dug a hole for myself and it's awful.
-I'm going to therapy. I never thought I would ever do this. It was a tough decision but, while it's beneficial, it's more money that needs coughing up.
-I lost a good friend. She was my best friend until we started dating. We would hang out most days of the week and we really enjoyed each other's company. Which leads me to...
-My first real relationship ended in disaster. We dated and then it went pear-shaped. It ended badly - mostly my own fault - and now we simply don't talk. She's now gone on to date another guy while I'm here in my pit.
I got into 2 car crashes. One was not my fault but was deemed my fault, and the other was my own stupidity, but I had never been in one crash before this. I almost nearly killed me and a friend because of driving stupidity, too (hint: microsleeping).
-I am still a virgin. This doesn't particularly bother me too much but it goes to show how anxious I am and how insecure I am.
-I have not furthered my education. Not that I could afford it, anyway, but I'm too indecisive. It has led me to basically go backwards with my life, though.

So, 2011: **** you. I'm done. There is really no way but UP for 2012.

Srijita52 said: ↑

My SA is eating away my life, I'm really really sick of it... ugh why can't I ever be normal just like everyone else!!!

:🙁: You will be okay. With the right steps you will be fine.

What is "normal," anyway?

MikeyC said: ↑

:🙁: You will be okay. With the right steps you will be fine.

What is "normal," anyway?

^Haha I was wondering that myself 😛 Thanks, I hope I can take those right steps soon.

MikeyC said: ↑

You know what? Good f***ing riddance to 2011.

I was just thinking about the year gone by and there's been absolutely no progress - in all, I would say I've regressed since the beginning of the year. How did this happen? Why did I let myself fall so much? This has been a hellish year, and even January 1 was spent with a friend having a meltdown and crashing in the middle of the Gold Coast with no way of getting home. From that point it should've been a kick in the butt that this year was not going to go to plan. I mean, seriously:

-I put on weight. Somehow I'm at my heaviest and I know it's my fault, but it shows another weakness in me.
-I have lost almost all my money. I once had over $4000 to my name, all in savings, and now I'm down to as little as $400. How did I even let this happen?
-I'm more depressed. I started the year normally but now I've dug a hole for myself and it's awful.
-I'm going to therapy. I never thought I would ever do this. It was a tough decision but, while it's beneficial, it's more money that needs coughing up.
-I lost a good friend. She was my best friend until we started dating. We would hang out most days of the week and we really enjoyed each other's company. Which leads me to...
-My first real relationship ended in disaster. We dated and then it went pear-shaped. It ended badly - mostly my own fault - and now we simply don't talk. She's now gone on to date another guy while I'm here in my pit.
I got into 2 car crashes. One was not my fault but was deemed my fault, and the other was my own stupidity, but I had never been in one crash before this. I almost nearly killed me and a friend because of driving stupidity, too (hint: microsleeping).
-I am still a virgin. This doesn't particularly bother me too much but it goes to show how anxious I am and how insecure I am.
-I have not furthered my education. Not that I could afford it, anyway, but I'm too indecisive. It has led me to basically go backwards with my life, though.

So, 2011: **** you. I'm done. There is really no way but UP for 2012.

Sorry to know you had a rough year Mikey. But hey its gonna be a new year with new hope. Maybe you can actively work on some of your problems you've pointed out. Hope 2012 turns out to be a lovely year for you 🙂

I didn't have enough money to buy my bf something cool for christmas so i got him a shaving cream set and a small decorative object, i know my gift is ****ty but its all i could really get him..(not that i have much imagination and know what to buy with little money)while he bought me something pretty expensive which i didn't even expect, i wasnt even sure if he'd get me something.. I feel so goddamn awful i can't even enjoy the present he got me. He said he doesnt care about gifts, that all he cares about is seeing me happy, but i could see he was dissapointed I didn't get him something more nice. And now his sister knows about it too, which makes it even worse.
I can't get this out of my head, i feel like such a ****ty, lame gf:🙁:

MikeyC said: ↑

You know what? Good f***ing riddance to 2011.

I was just thinking about the year gone by and there's been absolutely no progress - in all, I would say I've regressed since the beginning of the year. How did this happen? Why did I let myself fall so much? This has been a hellish year, and even January 1 was spent with a friend having a meltdown and crashing in the middle of the Gold Coast with no way of getting home. From that point it should've been a kick in the butt that this year was not going to go to plan. I mean, seriously:

-I put on weight. Somehow I'm at my heaviest and I know it's my fault, but it shows another weakness in me.
-I have lost almost all my money. I once had over $4000 to my name, all in savings, and now I'm down to as little as $400. How did I even let this happen?
-I'm more depressed. I started the year normally but now I've dug a hole for myself and it's awful.
-I'm going to therapy. I never thought I would ever do this. It was a tough decision but, while it's beneficial, it's more money that needs coughing up.
-I lost a good friend. She was my best friend until we started dating. We would hang out most days of the week and we really enjoyed each other's company. Which leads me to...
-My first real relationship ended in disaster. We dated and then it went pear-shaped. It ended badly - mostly my own fault - and now we simply don't talk. She's now gone on to date another guy while I'm here in my pit.
I got into 2 car crashes. One was not my fault but was deemed my fault, and the other was my own stupidity, but I had never been in one crash before this. I almost nearly killed me and a friend because of driving stupidity, too (hint: microsleeping).
-I am still a virgin. This doesn't particularly bother me too much but it goes to show how anxious I am and how insecure I am.
-I have not furthered my education. Not that I could afford it, anyway, but I'm too indecisive. It has led me to basically go backwards with my life, though.

So, 2011: **** you. I'm done. There is really no way but UP for 2012.

I can relate to all of this pretty well.

I have regressed this year as well.

I have also put on weight and I have been struggling with that a lot lately, how I wish I could just lose the weight and be happier. But I have realizing that a lower weight won't magically fix things. Maybe working out more and eating healthier will improve my mood through natural chemicals and stuff, but I am not going to stress too much about being kinda fat. It doesn't make me less of a person (I hope).

I am almost out of money as well. I had a lot of savings, A LOT and then I lost my job. At first I just was going to take a few months off to relax and then now it's almost been 2 years and I've only got about 1,000 left. It's kind of really scary, I am not sure how I let my life go to waste like that.

I had a relationship end pretty badly too. I met this guy and we got along really well, he was a great friend. We talked all the time, I was comfortable around him and we hung out a lot and it was great. But things got weird, he got clingy and things started to get serious and I freaked out and totally ruined everything. We went from being best friends to him blocking me and calling me a psycho and pathetic because I tried to contact him again. It has been really difficult getting over that.

It sucks, if you ever need to talk about anything you've mentioned here or whatever, I am here.

I am still a virgin too, eep. ha. These things happen.

Vamp said: ↑

I didn't have enough money to buy my bf something cool for christmas so i got him a shaving cream set and a small decorative object, i know my gift is ****ty but its all i could really get him..(not that i have much imagination and know what to buy with little money)while he bought me something pretty expensive which i didn't even expect, i wasnt even sure if he'd get me something.. I feel so goddamn awful i can't even enjoy the present he got me. He said he doesnt care about gifts, that all he cares about is seeing me happy, but i could see he was dissapointed I didn't get him something more nice. And now his sister knows about it too, which makes it even worse.
I can't get this out of my head, i feel like such a ****ty, lame gf:🙁:

You are not a horrible girlfriend. Love isn't measured in dollar signs, it's measured by emotions and feelings. Christmas isn't about the gifts or the celebrations, it's about showing someone you care for them. There was a story in the Bible about a poor man/woman who gave such a low amount of money as tithe, if I remember right, yet others gave so much more than them. However, the poor person got the most praise because they didn't have much, but they gave pretty much everything they had. I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates it. He must know that you don't have a lot of money at the moment, and knows that there's only so much you can get him. If he gets on your case, then you know that he isn't worth it.

DeadmanWalking said: ↑

You are not a horrible girlfriend. Love isn't measured in dollar signs, it's measured by emotions and feelings. Christmas isn't about the gifts or the celebrations, it's about showing someone you care for them. There was a story in the Bible about a poor man/woman who gave such a low amount of money as tithe, if I remember right, yet others gave so much more than them. However, the poor person got the most praise because they didn't have much, but they gave pretty much everything they had. I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates it. He must know that you don't have a lot of money at the moment, and knows that there's only so much you can get him. If he gets on your case, then you know that he isn't worth it.

Problem is I insisted on this and kept telling him how lame i felt, which i shouldnt have because i feel like i emphasised even more what a sh1t gift giver i am. God i wish i would stop obsessing...

Srijita52 said: ↑

Sorry to know you had a rough year Mikey. But hey its gonna be a new year with new hope. Maybe you can actively work on some of your problems you've pointed out. Hope 2012 turns out to be a lovely year for you 🙂

Thanks, Srijita. It's just that it's got to be better. I will try to work on some of those things and hopefully it'll be okay.

MsBuzzkillington said: ↑

I can relate to all of this pretty well.

I have regressed this year as well.

I have also put on weight and I have been struggling with that a lot lately, how I wish I could just lose the weight and be happier. But I have realizing that a lower weight won't magically fix things. Maybe working out more and eating healthier will improve my mood through natural chemicals and stuff, but I am not going to stress too much about being kinda fat. It doesn't make me less of a person (I hope).

I am almost out of money as well. I had a lot of savings, A LOT and then I lost my job. At first I just was going to take a few months off to relax and then now it's almost been 2 years and I've only got about 1,000 left. It's kind of really scary, I am not sure how I let my life go to waste like that.

I had a relationship end pretty badly too. I met this guy and we got along really well, he was a great friend. We talked all the time, I was comfortable around him and we hung out a lot and it was great. But things got weird, he got clingy and things started to get serious and I freaked out and totally ruined everything. We went from being best friends to him blocking me and calling me a psycho and pathetic because I tried to contact him again. It has been really difficult getting over that.

It sucks, if you ever need to talk about anything you've mentioned here or whatever, I am here.

I am still a virgin too, eep. ha. These things happen.

Aw, sorry to hear you're going through all that. :🙁: Looks like we're in a similar boat. I may even take you up on that offer of talking about stuff (very generous offer, too!). I just can't find anything good about 2011 that outweighs all the bad. 2012 can't get any worse....

Vamp said: ↑

Problem is I insisted on this and kept telling him how lame i felt, which i shouldnt have because i feel like i emphasised even more what a sh1t gift giver i am. God i wish i would stop obsessing...

Please don't beat yourself up so much about it. Take a deep breath until you calm down and just tell yourself that you've done nothing wrong because you haven't. Feel the tension in you flow out and, if it bothers you that much, then promise him that you'll buy something better next year and try to work on accomplishing that. Hope that you feel better.

Thanks DeadmanWalking:)

These days
I think
I do not feel
I drive
I do
I am something

MikeyC said: ↑

So, 2011: **** you. I'm done. There is really no way but UP for 2012.

Woo hoo! 🙂

Just remember always running don't be the person you wouldn't want to hate, don't think everyone judges you just because you think they have in the past. Just because you are afraid of getting hurt doesn't mean you should be the first to do the damage, because then you will end up being the reflection of what you despise. If you do get hurt, just take it as an experience, and be happy knowing that at least you gave it a try.