It just dawned on me today why I've been feeling extra depressed lately, besides the whole "I hate it here" feeling. My dog's death anniversary is coming up. I always get depressed towards Thanksgiving since then. It's been 4 years, you'd think I'd be over it by now. No, not really. :🙁: I don't think I've ever felt this way about a pet before, so sad. I've had pets die, but this one always gets me, every year. I think why I was so attached to him in the first place is because he was there for me at my hardest time. He was always there. He was the only one who knew there was something wrong. Funny how pets can do that, sense your emotions....
Okay, I'm going to stop now. I'm probably gonna sob all over my keyboard if I continue.
When I was a child I had a dog that I dearly loved...
My Mother was mentally-ill and hospitalized off and on all my years growing up.... If it had not been for my wonderful "Lady" (my dog) I may have ended up like her...I realize now as an adult how much a pet can take up the slack, so to speak, for vital things you don't get from family members.
I'll try to keep this short.
When I was in the fourth grade, my Mother once again was institutionalized & my Father gave my precious Lady to one of his Buddies and left me and my two older sister with his parents (our Grandparents), that lived on a farm in the country. Now I had no-one. I stopped going places and if not at school I sat in front of the tv. This lasted for 2 yrs. during this time, my Grandfather told me if I wanted to see Lady he would take me. I was so excited, I jumped up and went. When I got there she was not the dog I had known. She was the center of this family that had several children and a swimming pool. She live in the house with them and was adored. She didn't even act as if she knew who I was. I think that day is the day I decided I was totally unworthy..something was so bad about me that no one could possibly ever want me.
I never ever considered having another dog for years. Never even got my son a pet while he grew up. It just never occurred to me. I realized why about a year ago, when I knew inside I should get a dog for myself for companionship... I was afraid to love another dog the way I had Lady.
I got a little dog, his name is peanut, and I'm his mum.... I love him and he takes up a lot of the slack.. just like Lady did.
I told you this story so you might consider getting yourself a dog or cat maybe. No.. a pet cannot take the place of a spouse or children or friends.. But there is nothing like it and I don't know how to describe the feeling. I just love him and know how much more lonely than I am now, I would be, without him.
Maybe you could try again and love another dog.. Take a chance.
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