Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[superfluouslyme]

Went to see a doctor for an interview today (about a matter I haven't quite filled you guys in on yet. It was business related, not health related. But that's not really relevant at this time).

She told me, when compared to other patients with the same condition, that I show clear signs that are often associated with autism.

She continued to say that it's not unusual for autism (or traits close to it) to cause a fearful response in kids that strongly endorse social phobia. It would explain a lot. Well, it is certain that I lean strongly to the autistic mindset, but because there's no absolutes to the human mind, there's certain intensity criteria your have to fit to be diagnosed with it. Which I didn't fit last time I got checked for it. Perhaps it's worth it to re-check it some time in the future, just to make sure.

This isn't the first time that it has come up. I believe it's about the 3th or perhaps even 4th time now. If anything, I find that good news. It somehow makes the confusion that has dominated my life as long as I can remember not quite as bad.

Feeling normal in being abnormal in a normal world, if you will.

My mom is a Registered Nurse and thought I might have been autistic when I was a kid. She knew that something wasn't quite right with me, but couldn't pin it down. And she was afraid to take me to the doctor because everyone else told her that I was just shy and she didn't want to 'make' me sick. I don't know if it is possible to be just a little bit autistic, but I often wonder if there isn't more going on here than anxiety and social phobia.

I'm glad you got some answers, though.

I took all of the cat toys my cat has broken and made some new ones for her. She played with one for about 4 minutes, then left. And to think I (accidentally) super glued my fingers together for her. Hmph.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Thanks Hun.......It's been a hard, long and bumpy ride. Marriage is not for the faint of heart thats for sure.

Absolutely! Marriage is a love/hate thing for me.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

Dear dorm hall bathroom cleaner person:
Please stop closing the only (men's) bathroom on the floor for whole days with a sign that says "closed for cleaning." The same hair has been sitting on the edge of the urinal for a month. You haven't been cleaning it. I don't blame you for not wanting to touch the damn thing, but stop closing the damn bathroom under false promises.

 

[BlackPuma]

My mom is a Registered Nurse and thought I might have been autistic when I was a kid. She knew that something wasn't quite right with me, but couldn't pin it down. And she was afraid to take me to the doctor because everyone else told her that I was just shy and she didn't want to 'make' me sick. I don't know if it is possible to be just a little bit autistic, but I often wonder if there isn't more going on here than anxiety and social phobia.

I'm glad you got some answers, though.

My personal theory is that it is possible to lean towards the autistic side. But technically, it wouldn't be autism in this case, since you have to fit the criteria of the condition to be fully diagnosed as autistic. The mind doesn't really function in one set-in-stone mode. Similar to how you're never really entirely happy or sad.

I just happen to know that even when I'm not anxious, there's something in me that is STRONGLY different in logical processing. That has always been like that. Whether that's autism or not, I don't really know for certain. It seems the most logical explanation considering the symptoms.

Perhaps it's similar in your case. If you feel alienated for no good reason even if you're without fear at that time, it might be something you want to look into. It's not unusual for people to have wanted you to be just shy so bad that they completely overlooked it.

 

[Tiercel]

Why do I even make plans if I never follow through on them?

I don't know, maybe I'm just tired again. Or stressed about Saturday still/again.

 

[Vampayah88]

I'm scared I'm never gonna be able to properly communicate with adults without sounding like a limited moron.
My mom just confirmed today one of my worst fears, that i sound STUPID. That I am stupid(i always knew that being the first in my class in highschool and now in college and having the highest grades doesnt make me smart or anything).
She was talking about how great her psychologist is and that she helped her a lot, so I told her I was thinking about going to her too. My mom said "Um i don't think thats such a great idea, I mean I don't see how u would even be able to express yourself, I never hear you talking a lot, you don't speak long sentences, you're not articulate, you don't have a good vocabulary. You are going to make me look bad, so..it's better if u don't."
This ruined my whole fvcking week. I feel so dumb, so weak, so insecure, and now I'm gonna obsess even more about people thinking of me like that.::

 

[MrJones]

I'm scared I'm never gonna be able to properly communicate with adults without sounding like a limited moron.
My mom just confirmed today one of my worst fears, that i sound STUPID. That I am stupid(i always knew that being the first in my class in highschool and now in college and having the highest grades doesnt make me smart or anything).
She was talking about how great her psychologist is and that she helped her a lot, so I told her I was thinking about going to her too. My mom said "Um i don't think thats such a great idea, I mean I don't see how u would even be able to express yourself, I never hear you talking a lot, you don't speak long sentences, you're not articulate, you don't have a good vocabulary. You are going to make me look bad, so..it's better if u don't."
This ruined my whole fvcking week. I feel so dumb, so weak, so insecure, and now I'm gonna obsess even more about people thinking of me like that.::

You can be very smart and still have troubles in communication, this doesn't mean you are stupid. The problem may be that you don't speak with enough confidence, maybe? If you speak without confidence people seem to think we look stupid, so maybe what you need is more practice (yep, easier said than done ).

I'm not very smart, but I look even more stupid just for the way I talk...

You should go to the psychologist and see what you can do about it, show your mother how smart you are

 

[Niteowl]

She was talking about how great her psychologist is and that she helped her a lot, so I told her I was thinking about going to her too. My mom said "Um i don't think thats such a great idea, I mean I don't see how u would even be able to express yourself, I never hear you talking a lot, you don't speak long sentences, you're not articulate, you don't have a good vocabulary. You are going to make me look bad, so..it's better if u don't."

Well, that's not good. No, having difficulty expressing oneself shouldn't make anyone stupid. It's a part of social anxiety, and that's exactly why she should be encouraging you to see her psychologist, not fretting that you're going to embarrass her. I mean it's all right, I feel stupid when I'm struggling to express myself too, but the reality is that I'm not, and you're not - you said it yourself, you're top of the class. Go see the psychiatrist if you want to - they deal with all sorts of problems all the time, and there's nothing for your mother to be embarrassed about.

 

[Vampayah88]

You can be very smart and still have troubles in communication, this doesn't mean you are stupid. The problem may be that you don't speak with enough confidence, maybe? If you speak without confidence people seem to think we look stupid, so maybe what you need is more practice (yep, easier said than done ).

I'm not very smart, but I look even more stupid just for the way I talk...

You should go to the psychologist and see what you can do about it, show your mother how smart you are

I don't think it's that much about me not sounding confident when i speak. I actually speak loud and clear. It's more about me not talking a lot and using simple words when i do. I don't sound fluent, coherent when i tell a story, so I avoid talking long sentences and going on and on without stopping because I tend to stumble over my words sometimes which makes me cringe and feel even more retarded. *sigh*

 

[Vampayah88]

Well, that's not good. No, having difficulty expressing oneself shouldn't make anyone stupid. It's a part of social anxiety, and that's exactly why she should be encouraging you to see her psychologist, not fretting that you're going to embarrass her. I mean it's all right, I feel stupid when I'm struggling to express myself too, but the reality is that I'm not, and you're not - you said it yourself, you're top of the class. Go see the psychiatrist if you want to - they deal with all sorts of problems all the time, and there's nothing for your mother to be embarrassed about.

You're right,the problem with communication is all because of our social anxiety, at least I HOPE thats what it is and I'm not actually stupid.

I love how my mom cares more about the fact that I might embarrass her, than about what I deal with. thanks mom.

 

[FriendlessGirl]

^I'm sorry your mom said that. Btw I'm exactly the same.

 

[Hamelech]

You can be very smart and still have troubles in communication, this doesn't mean you are stupid.

In fact, when someone is a bit smarter than the others, cultured or educated, the others tend to isolate him due to their envy and suspicion, specially when living in a country full of illiterates and bad-mannered people like Spain, where most part of the people is usually envious and mean. So the problem actually doesn't basis in oneself in cases like this, but in the others mediocrity. I've ended up really tired of living in a country in which people is not even able to write properly in their own mother tongue language, in which shouting or treating the others in a rude way is seen as something normal. I could say that what I don't like at all of my own country is people itself, the way they are, rather than the country itself. At least in Catalonia you behave like civilized Europeans, so I'm not surprise if you don't want to be part of this African nineteenth-century peninsula anymore.

I confess although I'm from Madrid I've developed a certain sympathy to some separatist bands like ETA. What Basques have to do is not only to liberate themselves, but to set us free from our corrupted political piggies and from our onerous useless monarchy, even blowing up the Parliament if necessary. I don't care is this can be considered highly incorrect, because if freedom means something is telling the others what they don't want to hear. While I'm alive I will never kneel down before the dictatorship of political correctness. That would be like being a mindless zombie slave.

Today is public holiday here, watching on TV those sheeps sucking up to a lazy thief like our king is what makes me feeling like this. Are they retarded or something? I mean, is like they like to be stolen by the successor of a shabby dictator who cowardly sold Spain to America, which is a country highly criticized although they are more humble and respectful even though the powerful nation they still are. Spain could learn a thing or two from USA, at least they refused to keep being the slaves of an arrogant monarch.

"Viva España uh uh uh!!"

 

[FriendlessGirl]

Random thoughts:
Yay! I'm turning 17 on Friday
Oh no! I'm turning 17 on Friday and still have no social life *sigh*

 

[Agent_Violet]

You're right,the problem with communication is all because of our social anxiety, at least I HOPE thats what it is and I'm not actually stupid.

I love how my mom cares more about the fact that I might embarrass her, than about what I deal with. thanks mom.

Based on reading what you have to say on SPW I think you are a VERY smart woman. I would LOVE to hang out with you based on your awesome personality here.

Here's the thing, some people just aren't great speakers. It happens. You obviously know how to get your feelings out and you obviously know how to communicate bc you do it here all the time and you're GREAT at it!

I know she's your mom and I shouldn't talk trash about her but honestly, i don't see how she calls herself a parent. Parents are supposed to be the solid beam of support to lift their child up to higher levels. Parents are NOT supposed to continuously knock their child down as it appears your mother is doing.

You are NOT NOT NOT stupid. You get twisted up when speaking in real life bc of SA.

Have you ever considered speech therapy? Not the kind for stuttering or lisps but one that can give you coping mechanisms to think about when you're speaking to people in conversation so the SA doesn't rule your brain while you're talking. Instead of a psychiatrist, try a speech therapist as an alternative form of addressing the issue...you KNOW what you want to say and you KNOW how to say it. A psychiatrist is really only there to help you learn how to put your feelings into words...but you already do that.

A speech therapist will help you develop the focus it takes to form longer sentences and speak in a more confident/relaxed way.

might be worth a try hun I'm cheering for you! Forget what mom says!

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

^What she said........
I have a friend who is mentaly handicapped, he can't string two words together without a good long stutter, however, he is the most amazing person when it comes to dismantling anything that is broken and rebuilding it without having any formal education in whatever he is doing. He has been bullied and called stupid all his life by family and other people but he is far from stupid. Each and every person has there own special gift and ability and just because they can't do one thing without a huge effort it doesn't mean they are usless at everything.......

 

[FriendlessGirl]

Based on reading what you have to say on SPW I think you are a VERY smart woman. I would LOVE to hang out with you based on your awesome personality here.

Here's the thing, some people just aren't great speakers. It happens. You obviously know how to get your feelings out and you obviously know how to communicate bc you do it here all the time and you're GREAT at it!

I know she's your mom and I shouldn't talk trash about her but honestly, i don't see how she calls herself a parent. Parents are supposed to be the solid beam of support to lift their child up to higher levels. Parents are NOT supposed to continuously knock their child down as it appears your mother is doing.

You are NOT NOT NOT stupid. You get twisted up when speaking in real life bc of SA.

Have you ever considered speech therapy? Not the kind for stuttering or lisps but one that can give you coping mechanisms to think about when you're speaking to people in conversation so the SA doesn't rule your brain while you're talking. Instead of a psychiatrist, try a speech therapist as an alternative form of addressing the issue...you KNOW what you want to say and you KNOW how to say it. A psychiatrist is really only there to help you learn how to put your feelings into words...but you already do that.

A speech therapist will help you develop the focus it takes to form longer sentences and speak in a more confident/relaxed way.

might be worth a try hun I'm cheering for you! Forget what mom says!

^I couldn't agree more. I also think you're a super cool person and that's why I love talking to you

 

[Beatrice]

Well, that's two friends. Both male. Now time to make some female friends

I'm glad I know quite a few people in my dorm building (they're in some of my classes). I should try and get to know them. I spent some time visiting a new friend in his dorm yesterday. His roommate was there, and then he had a friend from high school over (I think he goes to the college now though, not sure.....). It was fun.

Oh my god, I'm actually acquiring a social life. *shock, awe*

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I need to find my nail clippers because this is getting ridiculous; I've looked all over the room and I still can't find them! Also, please people, look me in the eye; nothing is going to sprout out of the ground and attack you, I promise. I may not be a looker, but I'm not that hideous that you can't look at me. I won't hurt you.

P.S.: Vamp, everyone is right; you are a very bright individual. I haven't spoken with you personally, but from what I've seen of your posts, I've seen no signs of stupidity. I'm sorry about what your mom said, but try to let those negative comments affect you. If anything, let those comments be your drive; go out and prove those people that would dare insult you wrong. We don't think you sound stupid, so try to focus on what positive things people say about you. I hope your week gets better.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I think... I love babies.

 

[RandyMarsh]

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