Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

I received a text today from my former coworker wondering how I was doing. I have not talked to her since I got laid off in March. Why is she all of a sudden checking in now? Did I become the topic of conversation recently? Why does anyone care? Why am I caring so much about this?

I don't hate her. I never did and she was a good coworker. I hate that she works there though. She's too good for that place, for anyone else she works with. I just hate my former boss so much, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her. My therapist basically said even if you can't forgive, at least forget it and move on. Learn from it, but don't get hung up on it. I've been doing just that, but now this has brought back all those bitter feelings. And if I do reply, whatever I tell my coworker, I know will be told to others too. Again, why does anyone care? They (my boss and other coworker) certainly didn't care and lied to my face about their work environment when I was struggling so bad with my health at work, then that bitch of a boss continued to embarrass me in front of actual clients over small mistakes. How toxic of a human being are you to realize one of your employees is so sick, it's clearly showing in her work, then you STILL reprimand and embarrass her in front of other people over things that aren't necessarily her fault??? She's a disgusting manipulative person and I can't believe I wanted to work for her. For years I had a goal to work with her, and she straight up stepped all over me and kicked me around like garbage.

I think what hurts the most is that I can't even really prove to them (and why do I want to??) that I'm doing better, because I have no job to show for it. It's still just me. At home. Just like when I was laid off. I told them I was moving on to do culinary education, and well, it wasn't a lie, but now I feel like it is because I'm not even doing that. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm trying to do a lot of little somethings and I think that's better than doing nothing.
 
I received a text today from my former coworker wondering how I was doing. I have not talked to her since I got laid off in March. Why is she all of a sudden checking in now? Did I become the topic of conversation recently? Why does anyone care? Why am I caring so much about this?

I don't hate her. I never did and she was a good coworker. I hate that she works there though. She's too good for that place, for anyone else she works with. I just hate my former boss so much, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her. My therapist basically said even if you can't forgive, at least forget it and move on. Learn from it, but don't get hung up on it. I've been doing just that, but now this has brought back all those bitter feelings. And if I do reply, whatever I tell my coworker, I know will be told to others too. Again, why does anyone care? They (my boss and other coworker) certainly didn't care and lied to my face about their work environment when I was struggling so bad with my health at work, then that bitch of a boss continued to embarrass me in front of actual clients over small mistakes. How toxic of a human being are you to realize one of your employees is so sick, it's clearly showing in her work, then you STILL reprimand and embarrass her in front of other people over things that aren't necessarily her fault??? She's a disgusting manipulative person and I can't believe I wanted to work for her. For years I had a goal to work with her, and she straight up stepped all over me and kicked me around like garbage.

I think what hurts the most is that I can't even really prove to them (and why do I want to??) that I'm doing better, because I have no job to show for it. It's still just me. At home. Just like when I was laid off. I told them I was moving on to do culinary education, and well, it wasn't a lie, but now I feel like it is because I'm not even doing that. I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I'm trying to do a lot of little somethings and I think that's better than doing nothing.

Unless you want to keep a relationship with this co-worker or anyone else there, I'd ignore the text message. I think work environments are their own little worlds, and by quitting you have left that world. In my case, it always took a little while after leaving to recognize that it's a world I'm not part of anymore, and that the going-ons within it don't matter to me at all anymore. I had a manager I didn't like at my last job, and I had to keep reminding myself for a long while after that he's not in my life anymore, and I'm bothering myself over a thing that is not part of my life anymore. I still have to remind myself not to do that, whether it's old coworkers or other things.

But my point is, I think unless you want to maintain a relationship or connection with any of these people, what they think, feel, or do doesn't matter anymore, especially in the workplace. And if you can't separate them from your last place of work which seems to bring nothing but negativity to you, it might be best to make as clean a cut as you can to allow you to move on.
 
I agree with VJ. After I quit my last job I got 2 texts from people there asking me how I'm doing. The first person was a hideous 2-faced gossip monger and I didn't even consider replying. The second was someone I liked but on the whole I felt it was best I didn't try to maintain relations with her. It would have just meant more complications and hassle in my life in the long run.
 
Unless you want to keep a relationship with this co-worker or anyone else there, I'd ignore the text message. I think work environments are their own little worlds, and by quitting you have left that world. In my case, it always took a little while after leaving to recognize that it's a world I'm not part of anymore, and that the going-ons within it don't matter to me at all anymore. I had a manager I didn't like at my last job, and I had to keep reminding myself for a long while after that he's not in my life anymore, and I'm bothering myself over a thing that is not part of my life anymore. I still have to remind myself not to do that, whether it's old coworkers or other things.

But my point is, I think unless you want to maintain a relationship or connection with any of these people, what they think, feel, or do doesn't matter anymore, especially in the workplace. And if you can't separate them from your last place of work which seems to bring nothing but negativity to you, it might be best to make as clean a cut as you can to allow you to move on.
I think I'm used to things being personal, because my jobs throughout college became personal for networking and friendship sake. I actively sought that out after awhile because I hated being a loner. I know that you're not going to make friends at every job and I need to get used to that. The job I had prior to this former one, I worked there for 2 years to help pay for school and bills and I actually made friends - people I still talk to this day, people that I miss. I guess I'm also hurt that I expected the same out of this job too and wound up being burned. And a part of me feels bad too for ignoring this message, even though I have nothing I need to prove nor say, because I actually didn't hate this person. Through the whole mess, she was the only one who actually cared enough to ask how I was doing everyday. But admittedly, aside from her kindness, I don't want to keep any contact or relationships from there at all. So yes, I believe I will be ignoring this message.

I agree with VJ. After I quit my last job I got 2 texts from people there asking me how I'm doing. The first person was a hideous 2-faced gossip monger and I didn't even consider replying. The second was someone I liked but on the whole I felt it was best I didn't try to maintain relations with her. It would have just meant more complications and hassle in my life in the long run.
First reading I thought it said two-faced gossip monster and I was thinking, "Wow. What did that person do to be such a monster?" :LOL: But uh, not much difference I suppose, right? ;) (My brain is a little fried after spending half of today out in the sun. I don't do well with heat.)

Yes, I agree. I don't think I can maintain relations with anyone. Like you said, it's going to complicate things. In my case it's going to keep me from getting over these bitter feelings and negativity and I think it will cause hassle because honestly I'd probably just open up eventually and tell her the other reasons why I ultimately quit and she'd probably would end up telling other former coworkers since people talk. So yeah, I'm leaving this alone.
 
"Wow. What did that person do to be such a monster?"
For the purpose of your entertainment: some people are always talking shit about everyone else while pretending to be BFFs with whomever they're talking to at the moment in order to squeeze potential gossip out of them to use against other people. This was one of those people. I consider such creatures especially vile.
 
I had a day of writing a week or so ago which I was happy with. I had this idea rolling around in my head for a while, and when I finally decided to sit down and put it to paper it actually came out as I had hoped. My attempts to build off it have been putrid though. I sat down last night for probably 4 hours, and wrote 3 or 4 different next chapters, and erased every one. I was glad to have done the exercise of writing and that I am trying to hold my writing to a higher standard, but it's still frustrating to have nothing tangible to show for it afterward.

Hopefully I can turn the frustration into focus. I've been fairly listless in everything I do lately. Having something to strive for might help structure my days and motivate me to be more productive.
 
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