My therapist kinda let me go today. Said to only come in when I feel like I need it. I'm not sure how I feel about it honestly. I mean, I'm not distraught over it, but I wasn't really expecting that today. Especially since just a month ago I was saying how I felt like I needed more appointments because I felt so anxious and was having a lot of anger and such built up again. But then couldn't go to my previous appointment because of a scheduling conflict on my part. I've been feeling like I'm coasting the last week and a half or so, in a good way. I've had some feelings of angst, but since I started becoming busier with other things going on right now, and setting timers on my social media apps, I haven't felt so bad. I've been feeling fairly content and I know I came into my appointment coming off that way too. I still wanted to sort out some old feelings towards family, but even though I tried to bring it up a little, we didn't really discuss it.
Guess I'm not as troubled as I thought I was? I don't know? *shrug*
Ah wus in the middle o' shagging a Geordie lass in the cowgirl position when these bastards barged into oor hotel bedroom and started screaming at her... 😠
It's always been fair to say I like what one may call "coffee shop music", but in case there was any doubt Spotify quashed them by playing me a 9 minute spoken word poem between A Fine Frenzy and Priscilla Ahn.
I've had fun the last two mornings with Gus, we've found a new place to walk that's huge and mostly abandoned in these times of COVID. Honestly, I'm not really sure I'm supposed to be there, but screw it... they can come tell me to leave if they want. A policeman drove by yesterday and he didn't roust me, so maybe I'm good.
Might have a second chance at a company I interviewed at a couple months ago but for a different position. Crossing my fingers and holding my breath for this one. I'm not too hopeful about anything job-wise these days, but this position seems to be much more ideal for me. Little interaction with people while doing work with decent pay and benefits as well. God I hope I get called for an interview.
What should've been a nice relaxing productive weekend has been a shit weekend. Doggo got into something she wasn't supposed to yesterday while we were gone. Been cleaning up after her since yesterday afternoon, poor pup. Only reason why I haven't rushed her to the vet yet is because she's still drinking okay and has had a bit more pep this morning than she did last night and when she first woke up since giving her some homemade electrolyte solution, although she hasn't eaten in over 24 hours now. Hoping this clears up by tomorrow, otherwise I will be taking her in.
Oh and I also managed to jab myself with a needle while vaccinating my goats. So far no swelling, just hurts like a bitch. I think I'll be okay. Yeah awesome morning so far. 👍 Think I'll call this day done and it's not even noon. 🙄
I had a "STELLAR"* Saturday myself but won't bother typing it out.
Just the same old minor-inconvenience stuff if you don't have social phobia, but major-identity shaking disaster stuff if you do.
*-sarcasm quotes
Been thinking the same thing myself for a while. I mean, I still try to remind myself how far I've come in the last 5 years, but there's just some things that I feel like I can't do on my own at all and need someone to help me do it. In a way, it makes me feel like a child still at 27. It sucks. "Just doing it." isn't always an option when your brain can't comprehend handling such a supposedly "simple" task. It really makes me hate myself at times and feeling like an incompetent pile of garbage. 🙁
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