Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Life is hard. A lot of things have been thrown my way this month:
- Job sucking, with more training and having to cover for a coworker this week who's going out of town
- Depression and anxiety overwhelming
- Lots of expenses paid, wallet now pretty tight
- Our eldest dog now sick (will get results tomorrow or Tues); I don't expect results to be good considering she's been losing weight recently, attitude has changed, and today she threw up randomly.
- My husband's grandfather passed away today (We saw him in the ICU yesterday. It wasn't good. We basically said our goodbyes then); funeral will probably be next weekend

I'm freaking tired man. But I'm getting through it, slowly. Every day I've been trying to do at least one positive thing, or accomplish something to make myself feel good. Today I took the time to listen to music and paint my husband's wood project he put together. Yesterday I baked cookies. This week alone I have made all my appointments to keep my health in check, including an official date for my 2 hr intake for therapy. Sucks I have to wait another month and a half though. :confused:

Hang in there, Phoenix. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. :confused:
 

SoScared

Well-known member
I still don't know how most people deal with depression. I asked my mate and he just tells people that its not a good day and hopes that they will wander off. Anxiety was always my thing. I never really thought about depression much. I have so much respect now for people who live long term with depression. Imagine a lifetime of this. Its easy to get too self centered though.
 
I had to undergo work training involved practical tasks in front of other people and I didn't nail it, admittedly and I just felt awkward being centre of attention. And a day listening to a manager trying to be "down with the kids" with his banter, and seemingly engaging with everyone but me. I'm conflicted: I want a new job working with adults and mature professionals yet I worry, leaving to go to a new place will expose my fraudness in my professional personality
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I have to speak to clients at work one on one today all by myself. First time, so I hope I don't fuck anything up. There's only 4 people -- about 35 - 45 minutes total worth of speaking, broken up per appointment of course. But still can't help but starting to feel nervous about it. I need to get used to it though.

This week I applied to do some volunteer work in my field with teaching people and doing educational workshops, in an attempt to try and find a new direction job-wise as well as challenge this stupid anxiety. I'm already meeting up with one leader next week, and I am in the process of scheduling with another. In the midst of that, I even got offered to apply for a job that hasn't even been posted yet on any recruiting websites. I'm going to look into it and see what it entails. If it pays more and leads me in a direction that sounds more promising, then I'll definitely apply and cross my fingers I'll get it. A part of me feels guilty for looking into something else so soon while I've only been at my current job for nearly 4 months, but at the same time I'm at the point of saying, "Screw it. This is dumb and this is not what I signed up for."
 
A part of me feels guilty for looking into something else so soon while I've only been at my current job for nearly 4 months, but at the same time I'm at the point of saying, "Screw it. This is dumb and this is not what I signed up for."
I wouldn't worry about it too much Phoenixx, people 'job hop' to advance or find job satisfaction all the time.

At the end of the day, you have to look after number one - you.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
I had to undergo work training involved practical tasks in front of other people and I didn't nail it, admittedly and I just felt awkward being centre of attention. And a day listening to a manager trying to be "down with the kids" with his banter, and seemingly engaging with everyone but me. I'm conflicted: I want a new job working with adults and mature professionals yet I worry, leaving to go to a new place will expose my fraudness in my professional personality
I left a job over three years ago that sound like the one you're describing. Went to work with an older crowd. It was the best career move ever. No pressure to hang out minimum nosiness and people content to do their own thing (like going to lunch alone instead of in a big social group). I encourage you to find a job with mature professionals if you can.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
For once I just want to feel respected. :cry: Not wanted or used in order to fill another person's wants or needs. Not criticized for little things that are otherwise meaningless. Not looked over where no one cares about what I think or how I feel. Why is that so much to ask???
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I applied for a new job yesterday. Unfortunately I think I have to wait until the end of the month before I hear anything. I'm crossing my fingers I get it. Because honestly if I don't I'm not going to have anywhere else to go and I'll just quit my current job anyway. I can't take working there anymore. My boss is nothing but a bully getting high off a power trip.
 
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