Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Huh. I've been offered a couple of possibly interesting opportunities in the last weeks that would force me to get out there and, you know, meet new people. One volunteering position that would be a good way to contribute positively to this world. One other volunteering position that could turn into an epic adventure. And one paid position that would make me look very cool but would also force me to quit my current job for a 3 months contract.

Too bad all I want right now is to be alone and read books.
Wow interesting conundrum Pacific.
What do you think you'll do? :unsure:
 
I think I need a sign over my bed that read "Go to sleep; You'll feel better in the morning" because that almost always seems to be the case. Nonetheless I periodically find myself up late feeling the need to find the solution some problem that weighs much more heavily on me at midnight than at 8 am. Last night, as it frequently has been in my adult life, that problem was my money/life balance. And this is a real issue for me, but my only options aren't 1) Magically win the lottery 2) Use a mystical watch that can stop time to steal unnoticeably small amounts of money from multiple stores over time, and then launder that money through a online book selling business so the IRS doesn't get suspicious and I also don't have to talk to people 3)Make a YouTube video and watch it on repeat to collect ad revenue, because no one's thought of that before, or 4) Die.

I generally cycle through a lot more ideas than that, but they all either seem to either be wishful thinking or a miserable existence/death. Cycle is actually a good word, because I usually cycle from one to the other. Like, I'll decide a practical ("practical") solution is to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 70 years, and then maybe retire for a day before old age gets me. Obviously that sounds shitty, so instead I think about how I could instead casually become a famous Twitch player and easily make my living playing video games all day ("Casually", "Easily"). After spending some time coming up with a course of action to accomplish that, I remember no one would want to watch me play video games, let alone pay me. That sends me back to the options the harsh reality has for me. Like get a real job and be perpetually stressed, exhausted and bitter. Or I could do nothing!...And live with my parents forever! And on and on ad nauseam.

Eventually I go to sleep, wake up in the morning, and feel fine. The harsh realities I have to deal with haven't gone away, and the magical solutions for them are no more likely than they were the night before, but I see the middle area between them a little more clearly now. Ironically though, I decided to write this in the evening which has now become night, so now all I can think about is deciding between finding a sugar momma, or getting hit by a bus.

Go to sleep vj, you'll feel better in the morning.
 
I think I need a sign over my bed that read "Go to sleep; You'll feel better in the morning" because that almost always seems to be the case. Nonetheless I periodically find myself up late feeling the need to find the solution some problem that weighs much more heavily on me at midnight than at 8 am. Last night, as it frequently has been in my adult life, that problem was my money/life balance. And this is a real issue for me, but my only options aren't 1) Magically win the lottery 2) Use a mystical watch that can stop time to steal unnoticeably small amounts of money from multiple stores over time, and then launder that money through a online book selling business so the IRS doesn't get suspicious and I also don't have to talk to people 3)Make a YouTube video and watch it on repeat to collect ad revenue, because no one's thought of that before, or 4) Die.

I generally cycle through a lot more ideas than that, but they all either seem to either be wishful thinking or a miserable existence/death. Cycle is actually a good word, because I usually cycle from one to the other. Like, I'll decide a practical ("practical") solution is to work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 70 years, and then maybe retire for a day before old age gets me. Obviously that sounds shitty, so instead I think about how I could instead casually become a famous Twitch player and easily make my living playing video games all day ("Casually", "Easily"). After spending some time coming up with a course of action to accomplish that, I remember no one would want to watch me play video games, let alone pay me. That sends me back to the options the harsh reality has for me. Like get a real job and be perpetually stressed, exhausted and bitter. Or I could do nothing!...And live with my parents forever! And on and on ad nauseam.

Eventually I go to sleep, wake up in the morning, and feel fine. The harsh realities I have to deal with haven't gone away, and the magical solutions for them are no more likely than they were the night before, but I see the middle area between them a little more clearly now. Ironically though, I decided to write this in the evening which has now become night, so now all I can think about is deciding between finding a sugar momma, or getting hit by a bus.

Go to sleep vj, you'll feel better in the morning.

I always enjoy reading your long posts, vj!! They are always insightful and entertaining at the same time. (y) 💛
Sorry, my mind is too exhausted to think/offer any advise on your dilemma atm.

I should put a sign above my bed that says:
"Stop stressing Blue! There is always tomorrow, to get it done" :)
 
I feel overloaded with things at work - I could probably handle my increasing workload (not yet learnt how to say no) if it wasn't for the whole way I feel about my social interactions with colleagues. I sit in my own, small office which I do enjoy at times, being able to be further away from some of the inane discussion about things in the main area, however I feel awkward walking into their space and starting conversation, when I do one person barely looks and seems dismissive. I was thinking about looking for new opportunities and felt after 5 years maybe I'd had enough (was gutted not to be on the interview list for a job) and the changing work dynamic that hasn't been for the better, has been another factor to want to work in a mature, work ethic friendly environment. Everything feels like it's happening at once in terms of my declining friendliness to others, and an inability to engage with others who I feel don't take my engagement with any sincerity or interest. Anyway, I've waffled enough..
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I think I need a sign over my bed that read "Go to sleep; You'll feel better in the morning" because that almost always seems to be the case. Nonetheless I periodically find myself up late feeling the need to find the solution some problem that weighs much more heavily on me at midnight than at 8 am....

Eventually I go to sleep, wake up in the morning, and feel fine. The harsh realities I have to deal with haven't gone away, and the magical solutions for them are no more likely than they were the night before, but I see the middle area between them a little more clearly now. Ironically though, I decided to write this in the evening which has now become night, so now all I can think about is deciding between finding a sugar momma, or getting hit by a bus.
I get the same way when I'm stuck on a problem, except my feeling fine doesn't happen until I find a solution. Once I have an issue on my hands, my brain says, "We need to fix this NOW! QUICKLY!" And I'm left restlessly cycling through solutions until I figure one out. I can go nights tossing and turning and losing sleep over it. Then I go through the day with it still nagging at the back of my mind until I give myself the chance to think about it. It becomes obsessive for me. I have found that can be a blessing or a curse, as sometimes I do come up with some pretty good ideas and I eventually figure things out. But it can be so hard convincing myself of the inevitable, that some things need to stay the way they are before they can change.

I hope you find your answers, vj. Or a sugar momma. ;)
 
I always enjoy reading your long posts, vj!! They are always insightful and entertaining at the same time. (y) 💛
Sorry, my mind is too exhausted to think/offer any advise on your dilemma atm.

I should put a sign above my bed that says:
"Stop stressing Blue! There is always tomorrow, to get it done" :)
We should start a SA sign business, with signs people can put all over their houses to constantly remind them of things. If I didn't live with my parents, I would happily put signs everywhere ::p:

I get the same way when I'm stuck on a problem, except my feeling fine doesn't happen until I find a solution. Once I have an issue on my hands, my brain says, "We need to fix this NOW! QUICKLY!" And I'm left restlessly cycling through solutions until I figure one out. I can go nights tossing and turning and losing sleep over it. Then I go through the day with it still nagging at the back of my mind until I give myself the chance to think about it. It becomes obsessive for me. I have found that can be a blessing or a curse, as sometimes I do come up with some pretty good ideas and I eventually figure things out. But it can be so hard convincing myself of the inevitable, that some things need to stay the way they are before they can change.

I hope you find your answers, vj. Or a sugar momma. ;)
Blessing and a curse, I was going to say the same thing. While it may occupy your mind for longer, it seems like you're more likely to come out the other end with a actionable plan or the perspective that the best action is to do nothing. I wish I was able to do that a little more often actually. Late at night I recognize feel the weight of my action (or inaction) on my near and far future, but day-to-day I don't feel that same pressure. A little bit of healthy stress to motivate could go a long way I am thinking.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Whenever I'm stumped for gift ideas, I just buy a gift-card to a restaurant the person likes. Do they like Starbucks? I know Starbucks people love those gift-cards.
I was thinking of a gift card too, but maybe for a photo print service so they can put that towards printing wedding photos. I'm always cautious with gift cards though because I'm so afraid that people think I'm lazy or I don't care.

I think I might end up doing this though and pairing it with a frame. 🤔
 
I was thinking of a gift card too, but maybe for a photo print service so they can put that towards printing wedding photos. I'm always cautious with gift cards though because I'm so afraid that people think I'm lazy or I don't care.

I think I might end up doing this though and pairing it with a frame. 🤔
I would put the gift card in the frame. :)
 
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