I was at the supermarket today. As I went through the checkout I had a very attractive girl serve me. As she was doing her job I noticed her name badge "Winter". An unusual and very cool name.
As I was walking away I couldn't help thinking.. I wonder If her bf has ever said or thought 😂
I don’t really know how to feel right now. I wish I wasn’t so indecisive. I must seem bipolar, honestly. I don’t really understand my own feelings, but some light has been shed on how I must’ve made the other guys feel (being in that position now) and I don’t like it. It sucks knowing I probably annoyed the others. Do I like what he gives me or do I like him? Is this what a relationship is supposed to feel like? Am I overthinking everything? Hmmm...
I hate moving house.. the 2nd time in like...27 years or something
Only twice, in the last 27 years? Lucky you! I've moved at least a dozen times! I hate it everytime.. the packing and unpacking, the stress, the househunting.. its all crappy 😂
The problem is with new years resolutions is that for the first two months of the year it is so hot and humid that I don't want to do much other than rest and stay cool
I have had an abysmal start to this year, my anxiety was getting on top of me in terms of things that needed doing (car repairs, for which I have no clue about how to do it or to even ask someone; heating issues at home that I have to sort but not sure how) and it is my week off so I planned for a quiet week to try and tackle more my anxiety relating to my driving and my twin children who are three months old. But the aforementioned issues put paid to that and I ended up in a miserable mood, affecting my wife primarily.
However, my wife asked why consistently and as my mood disrupted our plans she continued to ask this morning. I just couldn't open up, maybe I will later but in that moment, my mouth was stuck closed. I could only mumble some vague words. And then, IDK why, I burst in tears - the first time I've cried like that in years. I'm devoid of emotion when others cry, maybe that's why I cried like that after a long time but I just feel like I'm failing as a man, as a husband to my family despite my wife saying I'm the best. I wish my anxiety didn't cripple me to the point I can't get things done to protect and look after my family.
I even thought about possibly, ending it all but I don't have the courage for that so maybe I just have to persevere for the people that rely on me.
Just an update: nothing much has changed, the car issues remain unresolved although I was able to ask for help for the heating issues (which I didn't get a majorly sympathetic response) but my mood is just down. I get anxious by the prospect of driving bit further afield than I normally would that I upset my wife who had plans to go somewhere.
Additional to that, I'm considering looking at other work opportunities due to the fact that having agreed a wage rise with my boss, I find out I get paid less than other people who, I feel, don't deserve that salary (he's had me for a fool) and in the quandary of either raising it with him (which because he's so non-plussed about things he won't care) or seeking a new opportunity which, considering I'm not adjusting to my role managing younger people (18yo) and feeling I don't have the respect in doing that then it may be time, after five years, to move on for more money and a different work environment.
Saw a guy while I was out tonight, his shirt was soaked in blood front and back and his hands were bloody.. pretty sure I just saw someone coming away from stabbing someone else. He proceeded to power walk quite a distance (I kept driving past him and he was still going. Walked about twice as fast as the estimated google maps walking time
#40641
Report
#40642
Report
#40643
Report
#40644
Report
#40650
Report
