Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
vj288 said:
Who, by you or other people? I can think of times where I have held myself to those standards. Like a job for example, I have felt to make up for my social inadequacies I have to excel at everything else.* Like that I need to max out all my other stats to compensate for that.

I feel the opposite is true for the rest of the world though. They see me try to maneuver social interactions, and expect very little out of me. In my head it makes sense to work hard to make up for my weaknesses, but through the eyes of someone else I imagine it would be reason to lower expectations. "Poor guy is struggling through small talk, he mustn't be very bright." At least for me, I feel pity much more often than raised expectations from others.


*I usually conclude this to be a bad route to go down. It's like giving a car with no wheels a kick-*** paint job. It's nice and all, but I figure focusing on getting some wheels on the car would do more good than improving the other features.
Click to expand...

It's mostly by others in my case, like I can't have the normal faults that everyone else has because I have social phobia.

My family (mother's side) is very hard-working and resilient, so my anxiety has always been viewed as laziness and weakness by them, regardless of what they claim. My father's side of the family is much more laid-back in that way and I definitely take after them. My mother's side is always trying to stump me with questions concerning social phobia (well you can do this, so why not that?) and I'm constantly scrutinized if I don't do cartwheels when asked to help with something (particularly with fool's errands or busy-work). My brother, who's had addiction problems, gets prescriptions, re-hab, doctor's visits etc.. But his issues take after that side of the family, so they understand it. Meanwhile, I just get suspicion and thinly-veiled resentment over my SA since they can't relate.

Don't get me wrong, I've been provided for extremely well, but borrowing you car analogy, it's like they're always offering to fix my brakes when I don't even have tires.
 
Last edited:
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
vj288 said:
I feel the opposite is true for the rest of the world though. They see me try to maneuver social interactions, and expect very little out of me. In my head it makes sense to work hard to make up for my weaknesses, but through the eyes of someone else I imagine it would be reason to lower expectations. "Poor guy is struggling through small talk, he mustn't be very bright." At least for me, I feel pity much more often than raised expectations from others.
Click to expand...

I can relate to that, and it has been a determinant factor in what I have become, but against all odds not necessarly in a bad way. When I finally managed to gather enough self esteem to decide to do something my life, I knew no one expected me to become anything but some low life loser, so I chose my path according to what I really wanted and I went completely off road.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
A cold both nostrils blocked. Can only breath through my mouth. Eyes so watery I can't keep them open.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
I have a splinter in my finger which is getting infected and hurts. The one time I really miss my ex now he was great at removing my splinters. So weird the stuff we end up missing about people...
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
FountainandFairfax said:
It's mostly by others in my case, like I can't have the normal faults that everyone else has because I have social phobia.

My family (mother's side) is very hard-working and resilient, so my anxiety has always been viewed as laziness and weakness by them, regardless of what they claim. My father's side of the family is much more laid-back in that way and I definitely take after them. My mother's side is always trying to stump me with questions concerning social phobia (well you can do this, so why not that?) and I'm constantly scrutinized if I don't do cartwheels when asked to help with something (particularly with fool's errands or busy-work). My brother, who's had addiction problems, gets prescriptions, re-hab, doctor's visits etc.. But his issues take after that side of the family, so they understand it. Meanwhile, I just get suspicion and thinly-veiled resentment over my SA since they can't relate.

Don't get me wrong, I've been provided for extremely well, but borrowing you car analogy, it's like they're always offering to fix my brakes when I don't even have tires.
Click to expand...

Ah, that doesn't sound fun. I think one of the reasons I tend not to open up about things like that is in fear of those types of responses. You're not a child, and if you say this or that is difficult for you, it should just be trusted. If people try to pole holes in your explanation and put you down, it sucks.

Pacific_Loner said:
I can relate to that, and it has been a determinant factor in what I have become, but against all odds not necessary in a bad way. When I finally managed to gather enough self esteem to decide to do something my life, I knew no one expected me to become anything but some low life loser, so I chose my path according to what I really wanted and I went completely off road.
Click to expand...

I feel largely the same way. I love that I do not have a large amount of pressure put on me by anyone other than myself. And without that microscope on you or any expectations for results, your path is largely up to what you want to make it.

For me that can become a major double edged sword though. If I want to rise to the occasion and be the best me I can, I have that option, but at the same time I don't have anything to stop me from giving up and phoning in the rest of my life. If I don't want to try on any given day, I don't have to without any consequence other than me feeling bad for myself. It's one of the reasons I think I tend to be so incredibly hard on myself - because I know no one else is going to be. If I suck it's all on me, and I have no one or no thing I can blame other than myself.
 
S

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
SilentAndShy said:
I'm due to become a father soon to twins within the next few weeks and I'm paralysed by fear and anxiety because I can't ask for help on buying a car. Everyone in my family thinks I'm not bothered but it seems they don't know me at all to know I find it difficult to ask for help. I wish they can reach out to me but I can't. Some role model I will be for my kids
Click to expand...

So I got the car. I took a refresher lesson. But I'm not driving yet.

But to completely shake me up, our taxi was in an accident today and for a moment, I thought about the worst case scenario for my wife and children in the taxi with me and I thought if that did happen, I would not be able to live with myself. I feel rubbish atm, I wish I didn't have the fear of family engulfing me.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
SilentAndShy said:
So I got the car. I took a refresher lesson. But I'm not driving yet.

But to completely shake me up, our taxi was in an accident today and for a moment, I thought about the worst case scenario for my wife and children in the taxi with me and I thought if that did happen, I would not be able to live with myself. I feel rubbish atm, I wish I didn't have the fear of family engulfing me.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear that, Silent.

What are the odds? :eek:
 
S

Sarah_M

1
I have a good job - it's the best job I've ever had. It's starting to wear on me, though. I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to work. I need to start playing the lottery every week. I just want to be a full-time student.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Due to the lack of posts during the last few days I hereby declare a random thought.

How many babies does it take to make a jar of baby oil?..
:thinking:
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
giphy.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top