LittleGloves
Well-known member
I keep wondering why do I always care about other people's feeling and take the extra step to be nice to them but they don't give a shit about me
Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, I guess ya could call it normal for anxious folk like us. Urgh! I cringe every time.
h:Same here. I've been ask this of my own family lately. Personally, I'm just going to stop being nice if they're not going to be nice in return. :thumbdown: Not going to waste my time with folk like that anymore.
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
This is just personal opinion but I want to touch more on what Sarah_M said earlier about needing more social prescense rather than using what's on the CV. There are posters all over grade schools in this country that illustrate to children how much money they can make depending on the types of college degrees they can earn. Children are told every day in this country that more education is the key to opening up doors... what a giant load of BS. I was a loner high school student, I was the one collecting Pokemon cards and playing video games when my classmates cared more about getting their drivers license and partying. My classmates have their own children, their own careers and their own spouses, I thought getting my college degrees would impress employers and make me like my old mates.. I know the old saying "Don't compare yourself to others" but it's hard not to. College is more than hitting the books and getting good grades, it's about making new friends to improve your social network. I never learned how to do that and it's a delicate balance that high school graduates aren't taught until it's too late.
LittleGloves
Well-known member
Yeah it's like they don't even bother to at least say thank you. I think I'm too nice to people and that is why they take advantage of me.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Well, my friend, if you do the same things you've always done, then your life will never change. My suggestion to you is to find out what your resources are - ask your therapist if there are any Aspergers groups you can join so you can meet people you can relate to.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Hello. :greeting: Nice see ya again, Spartan. :thumbup:
I completely agree with you - social networking (as I am learning now), is crucial to your success. I don't think it's ever too late to build social skills and expand your social circle - it's all about being willing to put the work in. I think that everyone should always be trying to improve themselves in order to be the best version. You never know who's watching, either. A few weeks ago, I was in the elevator at work with one of the higher up nurses from the ER - he gave me the best compliment. He said: "you are one of the hardest effing workers I have ever seen - you're always busy, always working and you do it all with a smile on your face. I have even seen you walk to work too. If you keep it up, you're going to get very far in this place." - that meant so much to me.
Even though knowing the right people is important/will help you a lot, a good work ethic will speak for itself.
S_Spartan
Well-known member
Thanks Graeme, good to see you too!
theslowesthand
Banned
It's my belief that i'll never want to or be able to change, as i am extremely change-averse to everything. I don't like meeting new people, nor groups. So unless these & some other things change, nothing will change, and i'll stay single. I've kind of accepted that's my lot, & that's what i'm suited to, but at the same time i yearn for a partner sometimes. It confuses me. I just think, 'when i'm dead, none of this will matter'.
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theslowesthand
Banned
My father always used to say 'he who hesitates is lost'. Well that's me to a tee.
theslowesthand
Banned
'Only smart boys do without' (bit of useful CBT there, via GNR!)
More of my CBT..
I've had (my version of) "good times" in the past. But the past is gone now, and the present is crap. Deal with it.
More of my CBT..
I've had (my version of) "good times" in the past. But the past is gone now, and the present is crap. Deal with it.
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
The family adopted a 3 month old puppy and I am not used to this one's energy level. Imagine feeding a six year-old human a Red Bull and throwing him in a ball pit, it's that kind of energy.
I had a great relationship with the family dog before she died six years ago and now this puppy looks just like she did. They're both part border collie, have white paws, white fur on the nose, and a white spot on the back of the neck. The current puppy has no name yet but everytime I look at her it's like I'm looking into the past. Once I move out on my own I know I won't be able to take her with me (which is a good thing bc it's cruel to keep a grown-up dog confined to a little apartment). I hope she acts different as a grown-up dog than the other dog did so it won't feel like having the past resurrected all over again...I have no where else to vent.
/endrant
I had a great relationship with the family dog before she died six years ago and now this puppy looks just like she did. They're both part border collie, have white paws, white fur on the nose, and a white spot on the back of the neck. The current puppy has no name yet but everytime I look at her it's like I'm looking into the past. Once I move out on my own I know I won't be able to take her with me (which is a good thing bc it's cruel to keep a grown-up dog confined to a little apartment). I hope she acts different as a grown-up dog than the other dog did so it won't feel like having the past resurrected all over again...I have no where else to vent.
/endrant
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
F*ck! Can't even form a coherent thought. F*ck! F*ck! F*ckin'... F*CK!! :kickingmyself:
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
What happened?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, apparently, all my future decisions in life huv to be decided by my mum and eldest sibling. :kickingmyself:
Get one of those stretching tribal earrings. When I move out, I've to get a house or flat in town - can't move away n' start over. All the while, I'm quiet seething, just going over the profanity-laden rant I'd love just unleash whenever this manipulative f*ckin' drivel starts.
And the eldest didnae take to kindly to my utter passive indifference at these suggestions.
h:Oh, and I'm a quote: "...right b@$%@rd", for telling my mother off for being bossy and constantly telling me what to do. :idontknow:
They treat like I'm incapable n' stupid because of disability, yet they keep praising how bloody sensible I am. But me standing up for myself... Naw, can't huv any o' that behaviour. :no:
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
Wow...a right ba$tard. People in glass houses shouldn't be throwin' stones. I gotta spend less time reading your posts, sorry but I'm starting to get pissed off by your situation too now. It pisses me off I can't do anything to help you.Well, apparently, all my future decisions in life huv to be decided by my mum and eldest sibling. :kickingmyself:
Get one of those stretching tribal earrings. When I move out, I've to get a house or flat in town - can't move away n' start over. All the while, I'm quiet seething, just going over the profanity-laden rant I'd love just unleash whenever this manipulative f*ckin' drivel starts.
And the eldest didnae take to kindly to my utter passive indifference at these suggestions.
Oh, and I'm a quote: "...right b@$%@rd", for telling my mother off for being bossy and constantly telling me what to do. :idontknow:
They treat like I'm incapable n' stupid because of disability, yet they keep praising how bloody sensible I am. But me standing up for myself... Naw, can't huv any o' that behaviour. :no:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Indeed! But hey, my family like to play the victim when it's convenient for 'em. They're very skilled at hypocrisy... bitches. Sorry to use that word, it's the polite way of describing them. Plus, the support ain't exactly there for me, sadly, being the only man in the household.
Aww, I appreciate that you'd help if ye could. :thumbup:
And sorry it's upsetting to read my posts, lately. :sad: But I gotta vent my feelings somewhere. At least until my older sister and her kids get a place of their own. Then I channel former Dr Who star, Peter Capaldi's previous role as the angry, foul-mouthed Malcolm Tucker from the British political comedy, The Thick of It:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYOlBsls-C0
Because, believe you me, I've had enough... And there's a few things my mother and eldest sibling need to hear from me. Though, I think I'd need a summit to physically defend myself, were I have the my older sister present as well. As she's got a habit of reacting to criticism, violently. Shouting, slamming doors, smashing things. And I know, things would just escalate from there. Since folk like that tend to not listen to reason. Well, to be fair, that's already got proven when she told me to eff off when merely asked her to calm down and stopping shouting, as she does during all arguments.
But don't worry about me too much, pal, I'm just biding my time. Besides, I've got plenty of past incidents where my family have scapegoated me to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. And now 3 separate instances where my mother and sisters reacted to me with similarly psychotic reactions. Which all got a "Da f*ck wus THAT?!" response from me. As well the one question which my eldest sibling believe to be true. True, to her, on the basis that the words: "Love you" supposedly count as "emotional support". But one that my mum has outright refused to give me answer to.
D'you think we turned out okay, being raised without our fathers?
I mean as people and how we treat others, family included? *
* This question isn't said with the intent of making my mum feel bad as a single parent. But just a comparison between me and my older sisters in terms of how we react to criticism and resolve arguments.
I mean as people and how we treat others, family included? *
* This question isn't said with the intent of making my mum feel bad as a single parent. But just a comparison between me and my older sisters in terms of how we react to criticism and resolve arguments.
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Hate
I seriously ****ing hate myself right now
I seriously ****ing hate myself right now