Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[Kiwong]

Tense, caught in a thought loop that I can't pull myself out of. Fearful that all the good things I have fought for could come crashing in around me. The last few years have been better than I could ever have expected, but I fear that might be coming to an end and more darkness is around the corner.

I feel that I am problem wherever I go, and the world continues to hurt and damage me. Continued damage could lead to a point of no return, where I can no longer keep up the battle.

 

[BlackPuma]

^Damn! Thats gotta hurt.

Oh and your new chair looks good Puma (saw the photo in the other thread)
I bought a new comfy chair for myself last year, I love mine too.:thumbup:

Oh, nice! Was yours from Ikea too?

 

[BlueDays]

Oh, nice! Was yours from Ikea too?

No, I got mine at a place I don't think is outside my country.
We don't have an Ikea near where I live. I wish I did!

 

[hidwell]

No, I got mine at a place I don't think is outside my country.
We don't have an Ikea near where I live. I wish I did!

I'm the same as you Blue no IKEA in little Tassie. :crying:

 

[coyote]

I dont get why people make it illegal to own expandable batons,brass knuckles,pepper spray,tazers and the likes,there are tons selling in the amazon jp,but as far as I know,its illegal to walk with one in japan,people cant defend themselves while obviously the bad guys are ready to jump people with baseball bats,golf clubs and etc.

that is the same argument that has made it legal for people to own assault rifles here in the U.S.

fortunately, things may be about to change

 

[awkwardamanda]

BBC News - US employee 'outsourced job to China'
:applause:

Wow. The Chinese sweatshops of the tech age.

 

[Opaline]

Probably moving to Vegas next year... fingers crossed.

 

[BlueDays]

Probably moving to Vegas next year... fingers crossed.

Whoa, thats a big change Opaline. What are you planning to do there?



edit: nvm, I am reading it in your "Thought Dump"

 

[Opaline]

Whoa, thats a big change Opaline. What are you planning to do there?

Live with my two other sisters, work for a year, then go to school. Everything is really affordable there and my cousin lives out there. Plus the weather is always nice. Hot, but nice. And no more dysfunctional household!

 

[BlueDays]

Live with my two other sisters, work for a year, then go to school. Everything is really affordable there and my cousin lives out there. Plus the weather is always nice. Hot, but nice. And no more dysfunctional household!

Well that all sounds like a very positive move for you! :thumbup: Good luck with it!

 

[Phoenixx]

Live with my two other sisters, work for a year, then go to school. Everything is really affordable there and my cousin lives out there. Plus the weather is always nice. Hot, but nice. And no more dysfunctional household!

^ Oh wow. I really hope that works out for you. It sounds like a nice big step that you could really benefit from. Good luck and I hope everything works out! You deserve it. :thumbup:

 

[MikeyC]

I'm the same as you Blue no IKEA in little Tassie. :crying:

There's an Ikea in Sydney if I'm willing to drive a little over an hour to get there, but there's none on the NSW South Coast. I have to make do with Bunnings.

 

[Opaline]

My head is not in a good place at all. I've been stuck in this goddamn house forever, screwing up my life. I'm afraid to try to get professional help again for depression though because then I won't be able to get into the Navy at all, and that will make me feel even more desperate. I feel so trapped. Why did I do this to myself, whhhyyyyyyyyyy????? ((((( I can't stop crying, I am just so sorry I'm even taking up space on this planet, how could I be so stupid...

 

[Kiwong]

The world seems like a very hostile place to me, and sometimes I'm not sure that I going to make it.

At times I can see that my being able to run is an absolute miracle, and my brave strong heart keeps pumping despite the low expectation the world often seems to have of me. I can run marathons, I can photograph wildflowers and sunsets, I have rediscovered an awe of the amazing detail in this world.

There are those who profress to know me better and to damage me and drag me down so low.

I am constantly riding a knife edge, and not knowing which way I will fall. At my age I really need to find some peace in my soul. You can keep on figthing a battle forever. I estimate that at least 35 years have been a battle, with occasional oasis that never seem to last.

 

[KiaKaha]

Wow - I just got an email from a girl I dated a while back - completely out of the blue - saying that she was sorry she treated me so badly. I guess she is feeling lonely - well too bad, should have appreciated me when she had the chance. I bloody picked up her cat and everything....

 

[Starry]

Wow - I just got an email from a girl I dated a while back - completely out of the blue - saying that she was sorry she treated me so badly. I guess she is feeling lonely - well too bad, should have appreciated me when she had the chance. I bloody picked up her cat and everything....

While I agree that the most likely cause is that she's feeling lonely... (a similar thing happened with my husband and an old online friend... I believe the words used were "I'll always reply to you, if I don't then I'm dead!" a few days later he was being completely ignored again, despite the person definitely not being dead!) until you have definite proof of that surely it would be best to give her the benefit of the doubt? She may genuinely feel bad about it and want to make amends. People do make mistakes and realise - usually too late - what they've done. We'd all like to be given second chances over many different things, if she's genuine then wouldn't it be fairer to giver her a second chance (Without getting caught up and letting your guard down, obviously - you don't want to risk being hurt again!)?

 

[MikeyC]

At times I can see that my being able to run is an absolute miracle, and my brave strong heart keeps pumping despite the low expectation the world often seems to have of me. I can run marathons, I can photograph wildflowers and sunsets, I have rediscovered an awe of the amazing detail in this world.

This is a good paragraph; think of the positives you can offer. I remember you talking about your knee injuries and yet here you are running marathons - something a guy like me with perfect knees can't even fathom. You achieve more than you think. :thumbup:

Wow - I just got an email from a girl I dated a while back - completely out of the blue - saying that she was sorry she treated me so badly. I guess she is feeling lonely - well too bad, should have appreciated me when she had the chance. I bloody picked up her cat and everything....

I agree with Starry here: is it possible to give this girl the benefit of the doubt and meet up with her? Perhaps she is genuinely sorry and wants to get back in contact with you. Or maybe she's lying through her teeth. The point is: what is there to lose?

 

[Flanscho]

So there is this woman. I first met her about a year ago, when some friends and I went to the cinema, and she joined us, being a friend of two friends of mine, and of my friends winked at me me, saying "oh, she's single btw".

Fast forward, we met at... uhm... the birthday party of a friend of mine. Fast forward again, we met on a board game evening, then on my birthday. Now we are in the same roleplaying group, and meet about once a week with a third friend to cook dinner together.

And, I'm not sure if she expects something from me. I first wondered about it, when the area I live in had to be evacuated because they found another WW2 bomb, and she told me "in case of doubt, you can stay here too over night", and when I replied that they just finished defusing it and all went fine, she said... what was it...something like "your loss " or something like that.

So, we now also cooked dinner without a third person (depending on whether someone wanted to join). Since my bicycle is my major means of transportation, I normally bike about 15 miles a day or so. Which means that after a day of work and biking, I like to shower before I meet people to cook with. So she said several times that I could also just shower at hers.

Normally on sundays, friends of mine host a movie evening, which I attent almost always and she every now and then (since I asked her, before that she didn't, because she feared that there'd be too many people around for her taste). Today those friends ain't in town, so there is no movie evening, so she asked me whether I'd like to have a movie evening just with her, and she'd bake some brownies.

So... I don't know. Does she want something from me? She never said something like "I really like you" or "I'm glad we met" or something like that. And since she is a long term friend of two other friends of mine, the stakes are pretty high. If I screw something up, I might not just anger her, but also those two other friends.

This is confusing. Watching videos with one other person you like without cuddling seems a bit odd. But maybe she is just a very friendly person and likes me on a platonic level...

I met most people with whom I got intimate over the internet first. So when I met one of those, I knew for sure that they didn't mind cuddling or sex or whatever. But in this situation? I don't know... I could just wait and keep it at a regular friendship without offering cuddling or anything like that. But then again, if she would want more, then it would be a bit silly to spend months not doing that.

 

[KiaKaha]

^ Maybe.

I am just a bit sick of feeling like I get treated like garbage - or more accurately - not being appreciated THEN when I AM needed its all like - I am so sorry.

But you are right, I have wanted people to give me a second chance too - I am torn between wanting to and not. If I do - am I being a pushover? If I dont - am I being mean? What if I do - and I go through another ordeal?

You know I really get sick of people sometimes and the absolute bull**** that so many people exhibit - how people will only take notice or CARE when something affects them - or how there is a HUGE discrepancy between what people say they value - and what they actually do. You can't win. Your damned if you do - your damned if you dont.

I will probably forgive her and give her the benefit of the doubt.... like an idiot. Inevitably I will just get stomped on again - that is of course until someone else comes along who can fill the gap much better than I and just get tossed to the curb again after my 'purpose' has been used.

I tell you man - if you could just see the world through my eyes and experience the things that I have had to deal with - people would understand my point of view a bit better.

But OK - I will give her a chance but I will be WATCHING CLOSELY.

 

[MikeyC]

So there is this woman...

This definitely sounds like she's interested in you, man. I would take her up on some of her offers before she loses interest.

I will give her a chance but I will be WATCHING CLOSELY.

You make it sound like you're definitely, 100% going to get heartbroken again, which may not be the truth! There's nothing wrong with being a little more vigilant this time around, but give her a chance - you could be surprised.