Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Starry
Well-known member
I'm sorry, Kia. 
I don't know what on earth is wrong with all these Kiwi women, lol, because you're not ugly or boring, I don't know about "expectation meeting", but as people are all so different I'm sure you'd meet someone's expectations. I'm going to guess it's something to do with the fact you are an unusual person; few people care as much as you do about things... Which means, I suppose, that being unusual you're going to have more trouble finding an unusual female who will truly appreciate you. But perhaps it will be worth all the suffering when you do.
Try not to become too saddened by it, I'm sure there is someone out there for whom you are perfect and who is perfect for you.
I don't know what on earth is wrong with all these Kiwi women, lol, because you're not ugly or boring, I don't know about "expectation meeting", but as people are all so different I'm sure you'd meet someone's expectations. I'm going to guess it's something to do with the fact you are an unusual person; few people care as much as you do about things... Which means, I suppose, that being unusual you're going to have more trouble finding an unusual female who will truly appreciate you. But perhaps it will be worth all the suffering when you do. Try not to become too saddened by it, I'm sure there is someone out there for whom you are perfect and who is perfect for you.
KiaKaha
Banned
It's just the comparisons that bring me down the most. The rejection first - then the guy that she *actually* likes. Then I wonder what is it that he has that I don't it's a huge blow to my self esteem - and you see THEM holding hands, cuddling up to each other, and it just makes you feel sick that it's not you - I treat all women with respect and kindness - throw in a bit of humour etc - I know they like me...just not in THAT way. It is extraordinarily frustrating - and it is not fair that i have to keep going through this kind of pain over and over.
There is a context to this btw.
I wish I was a bad boy
I just feel like treating people really badly for some BIZARRE reason, *******s get all the credit and attention. I wish I could understand. I wish I had answers. I wish I knew what it is that I am doing wrong or what is it that I don't have. Argghhh.
I am not going to work tomorrow.
There is a context to this btw.
I wish I was a bad boy
I just feel like treating people really badly for some BIZARRE reason, *******s get all the credit and attention. I wish I could understand. I wish I had answers. I wish I knew what it is that I am doing wrong or what is it that I don't have. Argghhh.
I am not going to work tomorrow.
KiaKaha
Banned
Don't be a jerk, Kia. :
I'm a doormat, which I shamefully admit, and I've had girls in the past like me, and possibly one now. It does happen. You're a far better looking guy than I am so I don't know what the issue is. It'll happen for you - it just has to.
I don't have it in me to be a jerk. I just wish I was. That particular conflict of wanting to be a jerk but not being able to just further adds to the turmoil.
I am not a better looking guy than you Mikey. I used to think relationships were based on two people merely liking each other and enjoying each others company. Now... I am not so sure.
Meh.
unfortunately my life experience skews my view of the world and myself. Perpetuating my bleak outlook on life. I just wish something that I wanted I could get - just for a change.
KiaKaha
Banned
Well I got an email back from her. Same story.
I am a nice guy, beautiful person etc.
Will make some other girl happy and she will be very lucky (just not her or any of the other girls I have ever dated, but I will make some OTHER girl happy)
Interested in another guy
Not sure what she really wants
Loves having me as a friend
Bulk standard friend zone reply.
It was ok the first couple of times I heard this - but when you hear it the 50th time - yeah doesnt quite have the same effect. I would like to get picked just for once. Heart broken again. I need some time to grieve.
:'-(
I am a nice guy, beautiful person etc.
Will make some other girl happy and she will be very lucky (just not her or any of the other girls I have ever dated, but I will make some OTHER girl happy)
Interested in another guy
Not sure what she really wants
Loves having me as a friend
Bulk standard friend zone reply.
It was ok the first couple of times I heard this - but when you hear it the 50th time - yeah doesnt quite have the same effect. I would like to get picked just for once. Heart broken again. I need some time to grieve.
:'-(
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Don't be a jerk, Kia. :
I'm a doormat, which I shamefully admit, and I've had girls in the past like me, and possibly one now. It does happen. You're a far better looking guy than I am so I don't know what the issue is. It'll happen for you - it just has to.
A true jerk is an abuser. What kind of depth would you get out of relationships if you were one? From my view I really don't think you truly wish to be one, you're just annoyed and frustrated, so you're taking it out on A holes.
I really do feel for you, but come on real A holes are just manipulators. You have what humanity needs because you're one less of them and you really want to be truthful and caring to someone.
That's way more special. Of course you don't see it scorned and frustrated, but your heart can give and you can't say that for someone who is a giant D word.
Many people don't want to even be as much as a friend. Male or female alike, for the longest time this bothered me (stick with me, there's point to this). I never understood why that was, and still don't. This made me angry to the extend where I blamed people. All people.
But, was that ever the proper response? Was I really angry at them? Was I really angry at myself? I've come to realize that no, neither were to blame. Not directly, anyway. I was angry at the circumstance and the results that promoted from them. Circumstances and results I could only influence marginally, were I to dedicate my life to it. And that wasn't worth it to me. At a certain point you start looking objectively. "What am I, whom are others, what happens when both of them come together and could I potentially change that?"
If your observations are correct, and you are a jaded person, then jaded be you. Learn to get comfortable in it. Because if like me you can't help or change what you project outward, the circumstances- and therefore the results, won't change. You might be jaded, people think of me as weird, the homeless person under the bridge might be considered crazy, these are all things if they can't be beat have to be lived with. And note that lived with doesn't mean live with despite of [X]. It means learning to accept it to the point where you can say "This is part of me, and I'm fine with it.".
Dealing with problems becomes a lot easier once you've learned to stop fighting yourself.
dean01
Well-known member
MikeyC
Well-known member
I wish I could help you out, man. :
:I had a 12 hour sleep on Friday night. It's great, isn't it?
Glad to know you're rested.I am too ashamed to talk to my therapist about my eating patterns (binge eating disorder). It's something I've been hiding from family and friends for nearly four years now. (hiding empty cans and boxes underneath my bed lol) I have no idea how to talk about it, even thinking about it makes me feel incredibly weak because I lack self control. Eating has become my way of coping with SA and depression. I wish I could stop it, but then I'm left alone in a pool of negative emotions.
I'm also scared to go into detail about the things I do to avoid people. (hiding in the bathroom during lunch breaks, hiding behind the couch when the doorbell rings, skipping class, etc.) I just feel incredibly weak when I'm sitting opposite my therapist. Like I become smaller and smaller, I just want to disappear in the chair. :S I'm afraid what she will think of me so I rather smile and pretend it's not too bad with me.
I'm also scared to go into detail about the things I do to avoid people. (hiding in the bathroom during lunch breaks, hiding behind the couch when the doorbell rings, skipping class, etc.) I just feel incredibly weak when I'm sitting opposite my therapist. Like I become smaller and smaller, I just want to disappear in the chair. :S I'm afraid what she will think of me so I rather smile and pretend it's not too bad with me.
Don't be ashamed. I've done some of the things that you mentioned - hide in the bathroom during lunch breaks, skipping class, and I used to binge and gained weight as a result. Your therapist is there to help you, not to judge you. If you share with her more information about yourself, maybe she can help you better.
