People not responding right away!

Lamb said: ↑

^ then you've got your response.

ImNotMyIllness said: ↑

I don't know. What if they do. I don't see the big deal. Don't over think it.

@lamb what would be their response then?

@imnotmyillness then how can a person communicate with them then?

ImNotMyIllness said: ↑

It's fine to ask them if they've read or received your message.

As a general rule, I would disagree.

If someone hasn't responded yet, sending one (or more!) messages asking if they got the first message, or asking the same thing, can be annoying and come off as desperate, rude and/or unbalanced depending on the circumstances.

I've seen many examples on this very site of people complaining how others message them over and over when they haven't responded yet.

You can end up giving bad impression if you don't have patience.


learn-the-art-of-delayed-gratification

As you can see from the video above; children were given 1 marshmallow with clear instructions. “Eat the marshmallow now, or wait 20 minutes and you’ll receive another one.”

Interestingly, once the researchers followed the progress of each child into adolescence, they found out that those who were able to delay personal gratification were more adjusted to making sound financial, social and personal decisions that could impact their lives to a great degree

Yeah, I do. :/ It makes me think I've bored them, or they're annoyed at me, or aren't interested in talking anymore.
...Another wonderful thing about having SA. Blah. -_-'

Saga said: ↑

Yeah, I do. :/ It makes me think I've bored them, or they're annoyed at me, or aren't interested in talking anymore.
...Another wonderful thing about having SA. Blah. -_-'

I feel the same way, but I realised that I sometimes take a while to answer as well. Most times it's just because I don't know what to say.

lttalk74 said: ↑

@lamb what would be their response then?

It could be various things, I can't predict that.

I don't have good conversation skills so when that happens I usually believe maybe I drove them away somehow.

Lamb said: ↑

It could be various things, I can't predict that.

you just said that would be there response

lttalk74 said: ↑

you just said that would be there response

Your question was, "What if they answer after that?" which you directed to ImNotMyIllness . I'm assuming you mean after you message someone and they respond.

My answer is "then you've received a response", which is what you had wanted in the first place. As for what someone will say if you ask them why they haven't replied back to you, I don't know. It varies.

Lamb said: ↑

Your question was, "What if they answer after that?" which you directed to ImNotMyIllness . I'm assuming you mean after you message someone and they respond.

My answer is "then you've received a response", which is what you had wanted in the first place.

sorry i meant if they don't answer after you ask did you read or recieve my question to ImNotMyIllness

lttalk74 said: ↑

i know but not responding the whole day though 0__o -__-

Because people are busy.

Start worrying if they never respond.

Hah... No. I'm the one who piss people off by not responding right away.

Hellhound said: ↑

Because people are busy.

Start worrying if they never respond.

um what i they respond early in the day and don't respond to the rst of they day, i know people are busy i understand that

Pacific_Loner said: ↑

Hah... No. I'm the one who piss people off by not responding right away.

why would you do that purposely? if you do that

I feel bad that I don't always respond right away because I don't want to upset the person on the other end, but I do have other things I need to get done and not spend 24 hours a day online!

I do think it's rude if you've taken the time to send someone a note and they never even bother to send a response, even if it's just a quick "thanks".

I hate when you get a contact request on a dating site and you send a message, then it takes 4 days for them to reply. Why make contact if you cannot reply, bugs the hell out of me.

1BlackSheep said: ↑

I feel bad that I don't always respond right away because I don't want to upset the person on the other end, but I do have other things I need to get done and not spend 24 hours a day online!

I do think it's rude if you've taken the time to send someone a note and they never even bother to send a response, even if it's just a quick "thanks".

Whenever I reply to a text message that I think was too late, I apologise. And yes, your last point about putting time into sending someone a message encouraging thoughtful discussion only to receive a "cool" or "k" does irk me a little.

In fact, the whole "people don't respond right away" thing is fairly common for me on spw, though that's mainly because everyone seems to live in the US, so whenever I'm on here, everybody else is snoozing.

Well I am one of those people,it makes me to anxious to go private messaging and network sites ,thats why I havent entered facebook for like 6 months,despite having relatives asking me to enter.....

I do get jumped-up selective confidence to push a point. Very over & over... "did you hear that?" Get it?

Because: I was pushed into this for years of interviewing bullying, the overriding topic always being "he didn't answer the questions properly" which is surely natural when people poke / nudge you about sensitive points "why did this job end?" which needs a manufactured, prepared response ready.

Generally, I adore metaphors of accusation & criticism of anything which has been imperfect for me, and need addressing. I go over the same topic with a distinctly abstract metaphor. Hmmm... this seems to be far beyond any comfort zone of any other party who yearn for gobbly-dookie mummy-daddy luvvy bubbly hugz 'n' kiss and will not tolerate any threshold.

Always a need for common ground, everywhere every time. Compromise. A matter of humour is crucial. I do bring out smiles & giggles, but not always

Repetition is not welcome, but my point is that for intercommunication we must establish any clear point. If not listening, we don't succeed. Teacher

i don't mind people not responding straight away, as long as they do respond. i know others have more important things to do which fills their time. so i'm not upset about not getting an instant response. it's when i make the effort to connect with someone and they just totally ignore me, that gets on my nerves.
the least they could say something like...

dear planemo,

get stuffed!!!

(insert name here)

i really wouldn't mind that at all.

NB: this is not regarding folks on SPW 😛

I used to get really anxious about it but not so much anymore (unless days and days have passed and I had send a message which invited further contact, such as if I suggested a meet up).

I used to reply to things straight away on the premise that I may forget later, but now I've become a lot slower at responding. Being busy is the main reason, but also because sometimes I'd like to reply to a message in detail, and take more time and care to write it, rather than just whittle something off quickly for the sake of replying sooner.

It's strange, the slower I've got at responding, the less anxious I am about how quickly people respond to me. It's common for people to worry about why so-and-so hasn't replied to a text, but the truth is that there are a huge number of reasons. To sit and worry about it is a waste of time. Most likely, they're busy doing something else.