online dating

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sullyS25

sullyS25

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I had a "date" with another girl from a dating site on sunday. It went well and I was comfortable. Then when I was walking back to her house she let me know how she really was just looking for a friend with benefits situation. Can't say I have any complaints after hearing that either and I think it is great that I found that out so quickly.
 
Tino

Tino

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sullyS25 said:
I had a "date" with another girl from a dating site on sunday. It went well and I was comfortable. Then when I was walking back to her house she let me know how she really was just looking for a friend with benefits situation. Can't say I have any complaints after hearing that either and I think it is great that I found that out so quickly.
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I am so jealous. ::(:
 
S

SM1010

Well-known member
I had a "date" with another girl from a dating site on sunday. It went well and I was comfortable. Then when I was walking back to her house she let me know how she really was just looking for a friend with benefits situation. Can't say I have any complaints after hearing that either and I think it is great that I found that out so quickly.
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Nice! Good job man. Just the fact that you went out with her and felt fairly comfortable should make you feel good.

I wouldn't be surprised if you could just set yourself in cruise control with this girl. It seems you've established solid ground early on.
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I don't know, we'll see. She asked me last night If I was a virgin. I told her the truth. She seemed pretty shocked. She kept saying it was cute but I got the vibe that she was shocked and contemplating it the rest of the night. I played it off like I didn't bother me at all. Again, can't let it come off as a weakness because that's unattractive (that was my rationale anyway).

But again she was laughing and playfully touching/hitting/pushing me the rest of the night. We also kissed again at the end. It was wayyy better than the first awkward kiss because I was far less tense.

So I think I'm still in good shape with her but we shall see.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

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SM1010 said:
She asked me last night If I was a virgin. I told her the truth. She seemed pretty shocked.
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Yeah, I'm not sure what your age is, but I'm assuming you are over 30? So I'd say over 95% of people or so have had sex by your age, so yeah, anyone is going to be surprised after hearing that someone your age is a virgin.

I mean I'm 27 and if I told a girl i've only had sex once she'd be surprised too.

You said earlier she doesn't care about the inexperience so I doubt it will effect your dating with her. She probably just needed to gather her thoughts because she probably hasn't been with a guy that is a virgin in years, or maybe ever.

That's what sucks about the way society operates, though. Most people see something as different and they get afraid of that. I have been rejected because of my lack of sexual experience before but I doubt you will.

What sucks about talking with people, especially in dating, is that people will sometimes lie so they don't make you feel bad. I'm not saying she's lying, but how she said it's cute that you are a virgin. Maybe she's telling the truth, but she also could be lying about that because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I've had a woman tell me that it's cute when she found out I was shy then all the sudden she cancels the date and doesn't want to see me anymore, haha. Sometimes it's tough to tell.

Hopefully it works out for you.
 
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sullyS25

sullyS25

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SM1010, I know you know this but let me reiterate that it accomplishes nothing to try and figure out what she was "really thinking" when you told her the truth about being a virgin. You will find out in the future based on her actions. As people that tend to get very anxious in social situations, I understand how easy it is to do this but it only makes things worse and it accomplishes nothing. Trying to read minds only ****s you over because at some point in time you will convince yourself of what she "really thinks" and you may find out that the opposite was true. It is better to concentrate on the good things that happened and try to continue putting off those impressions instead of dwelling on a negative thought she MIGHT of thought when you told her you were a virgin, acting differently because of this and truly turning her off by not being the same as before out of the fear that she MIGHT think it is a turn off that you are still a virgin.

I dont know if that makes sense but mind reading does no good and never will especially when we tend to assume they are thinking negative things they really aren't. Just go with your intuition, concentrate on the good parts of the date and leave the total mind fuc k of trying to figure out what she is thinking out of it, it never helps. That has been my experience at least.
 
S

SM1010

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I'm 25. She's a couple years older than me.

I'm definitely not stressing out over what she really thinks about it. Like you said it will become clear based on her future actions. If all of a sudden she doesn't want to hang out anymore it's pretty obvious.

IF that happens, honestly yah I'll prolly feel a little dejected but not much. If someone loses interest in me solely because I haven't had a lot of sex, that seems pretty superficial to me. And they'd become a lot less attractive to me at the same time. So I think I'd move on fairly easily. There's a lot of other women to meet. Plus I've already accomplished things with this woman I haven't before, so it's a win and I'll come away from it feeling good no matter what.

Anyway I asked her if she wanted to hang out tonight. We'll see what she says.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

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SM1010 said:
If someone loses interest in me solely because I haven't had a lot of sex, that seems pretty superficial to me.
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Oh yeah bro, that would definitely be superficial if someone does that.

That girl i lost my virginity basically did that, haha.
 
Newtype

Newtype

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When I read profiles of girls on dating sites, I laugh so hard. They all describe themselves the same way, they all like the same things. Also, they all say that they work out, lol.
 
S

SM1010

Well-known member
Hung out with the one girl again. She stayed the night. No sex, we just made out and "cuddled" I guess you can say (I don't like that word lol). I didn't really make any move towards sex.

We talked a lot about sex though. I grilled her on what her thoughts are on taking a guys virginity and she said it sounds exciting because its different.

She definitely likes me. I think she likes to take things slow, which is fine with me since I have anxiety about making moves anyway. Just gonna keep hanging out with her and see what happens. She's cool and attractive but I'm not worried about jumping into a relationship or anything.

Within the next couple times we hang out I'll probably just straight up tell her that I'd like her to take my v-card. I'm pretty sure she's down, just don't know how slow she wants to take it.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

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SM1010 said:
Hung out with the one girl again. She stayed the night. No sex, we just made out and "cuddled" I guess you can say (I don't like that word lol). I didn't really make any move towards sex.

We talked a lot about sex though. I grilled her on what her thoughts are on taking a guys virginity and she said it sounds exciting because its different.

She definitely likes me. I think she likes to take things slow, which is fine with me since I have anxiety about making moves anyway. Just gonna keep hanging out with her and see what happens. She's cool and attractive but I'm not worried about jumping into a relationship or anything.

Within the next couple times we hang out I'll probably just straight up tell her that I'd like her to take my v-card. I'm pretty sure she's down, just don't know how slow she wants to take it.
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That's really cool, mate. I hope it all works out for you. She sounds like a lovely girl. :)
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

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Good job SM. It sounds like things are going well for you. It's nice to see people succeeding in here.

As for me, I think I'm doing well now too. I met a woman last weekend and went over to her house because she invited me. I rode my bike because I had been drinking which was a smart play to avoid a DUI. This was the woman that said she was ill, and she really did have a problem that was something like that back when she told me that, but she is healthy now.

I made the move to kiss her, and I should pat myself on the back for that. We made out and did most of the "extra" sexual activities besides sex. We lied in her bed for hours doing action stuff and talking, it was surprising how much I had to say.

The only thing that sucks is she is overweight. That's the only problem though. I'm going to continue to see her because it sounds like she's really into me and I can take advantage of this for the experience of being with a woman and it will give me at least one friend that I can talk to.

This woman says I'm the greatest guy she's ever met. Haha. I'm cool with that. She keeps telling me how hot I am and complimenting me on who I am as a person. Things are going pretty well so far man.

I think this woman could be a good stepping stone for a better woman for me down the road that isn't overweight. This is good practice.

I tried to have sex with her but I kept having ed problems. I tend to get those, but we agreed that we'd keep trying to get me to work down there if you know what I mean, so I'll keep trying to have sex with her. We agreed I'd try to again next time. What's awesome is even though we didn't have sex, it was still fun.
 
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WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

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Sial Axetder said:
I still adamantly believe we cannot miss what do not know.
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Yes, me too.
I wish for the life of me I had no idea. I'd rather have been alone forever than lost the only person I ever was attracted to- and now be asexual and lonely forever, knowing what I'm missing.
haha
 
Pookah

Pookah

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Does she know any of this? Because otherwise I guarantee she wouldn't be cool with having you use her.

OceanMist said:
The only thing that sucks is she is overweight. That's the only problem though. I'm going to continue to see her because it sounds like she's really into me and I can take advantage of this for the experience of being with a woman and it will give me at least one friend that I can talk to.

This woman says I'm the greatest guy she's ever met. Haha. I'm cool with that. She keeps telling me how hot I am and complimenting me on who I am as a person. Things are going pretty well so far man.

I think this woman could be a good stepping stone for a better woman for me down the road that isn't overweight. This is good practice.

I tried to have sex with her but I kept having ed problems. I tend to get those, but we agreed that we'd keep trying to get me to work down there if you know what I mean, so I'll keep trying to have sex with her. We agreed I'd try to again next time. What's awesome is even though we didn't have sex, it was still fun.
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