online dating

[Agent_Violet]

Actually, I find her personality very attractive. Sexual attraction isn't just physical, but it also has to do be with attracted to the person's personality in many cases.

I actually am attracted to her face, hair, eyes and personality. A guy doesn't have to think a woman is perfectly attractive in every way to sleep with her. If that were the case, people would be having sex with person their entire lifetime if they were lucky.

Again, I bring up my argument from before, what I'm doing isn't much different than what many other people do in dating. Many people sleep with others that they may not be 100% attracted to. It happens all the time.

Yet, it seems I continue to be the bad guy here?

I don't think you're a bad guy. i get what you're doing and why you're doing it. it makes sense somehow.

 

[OceanMist]

Just like how someone can be used as someone elses stepping stone to something 'better'.

I like how you mentioned this, because this has to do with my complaint, once again.

I did use this comment (that comment being the one how I said the girl I'm dating is so I can use her as a stepping stone to something better) you just used. Now, let's flip it around and say a woman used that same comment to talk about a guy she was dating.

I guarantee you that woman wouldn't have received nearly the criticism and hatred that I have had directed toward me after I made that comment.

That is the problem with society. Men are seen as jerks who use women for only sex while women are seen as never using men, when in fact, women use men all the time. Women may get called sluts more, but yet, they are also seen as kinder individuals that would never use a guy and are innocent.

This thread has turned into a perfect example of that. Look at all the people attacking me.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

If you feel they are attacks, I can close the thread and make everyone happy; as I feel this conversation is going in circles and really not on topic at all.

 

[Feathers]

OceanMist, I think people on this site maybe just kinda 'expected better' from a fellow SA-er?

We are all different and may have different worldviews and priorities...

About dating multiple people - yup some books/experts on dating recommend that, they don't say 'sleep with everyone' though (though some people do that too) - there are differences in what people do or find 'acceptable'...

Felgen - Some guys can be 'jerks' to start with - because mamas/other relatives spoilt them too much or daddy/other close people were macho/slapped mum and/or kids around too etc.
It can have nothing to do with who they date/d etc.

 

[Feathers]

Well, I think this thread used to be cool and kinda inspiring a while ago - it made me check the online dating sites again and give the guys there a chance - haven't met up with anyone but been having fun exchanging PMs with a few-?

So I say let's go back to original intention of the thread?
Describing online dating experiences and questions etc? (In respectful terms?)

 

[Felgen]

Very true.

This goes both ways; a man who's single and doesn't sleep around with a new girl at least once every weekend is a loser, whereas a woman who's 30 and still a virgin is seen "pure" and strong-willed.

 

[OceanMist]

Behind every guy that's "a jerk who sleeps around", there's a girl who've played mind games and toyed with his emotions to boost her ego. You seem to have improved a lot given that two months ago you were still a virgin.

Agreed. And it's people like you that I appreciate because I think you once went through what I've been going through. Your support is appreciated.

I'm glad at least a couple people like you understand me here. It seems most don't. It's weird because what I'm doing is pretty normal if you ask me as far as dating goes.

 

[Feathers]

This goes both ways; a man who's single and doesn't sleep around with a new girl at least once every weekend is a loser, whereas a woman who's 30 and still a virgin is seen "pure" and strong-willed.

Not necessarily. Even Catholic relatives who might have expected 'purity' might be cheering for grandkids or such?? (it can be stressful!!)

It really depends on the kind of environment and culture you might be... (or how rude people around you might be??)

 

[Agent_Violet]

This goes both ways; a man who's single and doesn't sleep around with a new girl at least once every weekend is a loser, whereas a woman who's 30 and still a virgin is seen "pure" and strong-willed.

the only reason i said what i said was bc i felt like a picture was being painted that only men struggle with labels and expectations from the quote that i responded to.

women AND men have to deal with stereotypes,labels,etc. The labels are different for each sex but they're still damaging and hurtful just the same.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Thread closed.