one comment which has affected your confidence

[Nathália]

When I was in 6th grade and had a music class in my schedule, one of our projects was to plan music video to a song, build a story around this song, and do dance moves to it and we would perform it in front of the class.
I was stuck with two girls who didn't get along but we did the best we could to scrape together everything to one of the girl's favorite songs, and we performed it fine.
A few years later, when I was in 9th grade in my science class, for whatever reason the song was playing that we did that music video to, and one of the girls from that class in the audience who we performed it for made eye contact with me. She essentially told me she remembered that I did a music video for that song and that the song was originally her favorite and I had ruined the song for her.

Another occurred while having a hostess job at a local restaurant just after graduating high school. I had mispronounced a customer's last name to lead their group to a table, and the woman in the group corrected me with a smile, and I said "I'm sorry, must be losing my mind." The manager was standing right there and responded with "a mind? you don't have one" and laughed, and the new hostess I was training, obviously feeling slightly uncomfortable, weakly laughed along with him. I felt embarrassed in front of the customers and it made me feel like I lacked the knowledge to be training that hostess. Even though he acted like he was joking I knew how he really felt. It turned my performance in restaurant jobs for the worse.

A couple months back I went out to eat with my old roommate from freshman/sophomore year and a bunch of her friends, and of course I wasn’t particularly close with any of them. One of the girls I remembered living the floor above me in my residence hall during my freshman year, and I occasionally talked to her during this dinner out. While she can be nice to people at first she has, as I noticed in the past, the occasional snarky comment. I remember I complimented her on her on her industrial ear piercing and said that I would’ve liked them but my ears weren’t the right size for it, and I pulled back my hair to show her she pretty much made a huge deal of how small my ears were. I felt really embarrassed because my ears were my worst feature and she was just drawing everyone’s attention to them.

What a low shot that your manger took. That sounds scum baggish to get joy out of hurting others. I doubt he really knew you to and generalized you. I'm thinking about and I wonder although I am guilty of being affected by other peoples comments. If people have the guts enough to do these things to most of the people in the thread, do you think many people really like them?

If a manger did that in front of me, I wouldn't even smirk. I would want to let him know he's rude but I wouldn't want someone to be fired, but it's so obvious that you deserved better anyways.

 

[LostLaur]

I have flushing issues. My face just randomly gets red and stays that way for long periods of time. At first I thought it was related to SA and while I think SA does cause it, it's also clearly caused by something else. As I can be sitting int he comfort of my own home watching TV and bam get it out of nowhere. No anxiety either. Anyway it's not something I can control or something that I can get rid of. I've been trying for years.

Anyway two comments one came from a girl that said a woman will never find me attractive because I have rosey cheeks or whatever. That's when I really got self concious about it and I could feel it when my cheeks were flushing etc. Before I never noticed it and it never really bothered me. The other was some dude that asked me why my face is always red. Clearly I don't know and if I did then I'd get rid of it lol.

Anyway those two are what really set me off and imo have led to my SA.

Aaaagh I feel your pain. This happens to me too! It's terrible. And once I feel it coming on, it only gets worse.

 

[LostLaur]

This may sound strange and/or dumb, but one question which frequently causes my confidence to plummet is, "What are you doing this weekend? Going out? Doing anything fun?.." On the weekends I rarely have plans lately, and sometimes I actually enjoy being home, studying, drawing, listening to music, having a drink.

But when people ask me this (and they do frequently- extroverted coworkers, etc), and then I don't really have an answer, and they look perplexed, I immediately feel judged and start comparing myself to others. I start imagining what all of the 'normal' people are doing, out with friends, etc. And that maybe it isn't ok that I end up alone on weekends...

This gets me every time.

 

[alak]

"Everyone laughs at you behind your back. I was embarrassed to go out with you in public when we dated. You looked like sh*t 60% of the time."

"You're a terrible writer."

"Drama queen." (I cry a lot, but now I try to hold back as best I can and just cry alone. I get anxious that this is how a lot of people see me...)

 

[Srijita52]

"Everyone laughs at you behind your back. I was embarrassed to go out with you in public when we dated. You looked like sh*t 60% of the time."

"You're a terrible writer."

"Drama queen." (I cry a lot, but now I try to hold back as best I can and just cry alone. I get anxious that this is how a lot of people see me...)

I'm sorry, I've heard all of those comments too.

 

[MikeyC]

"What are you doing this weekend? Going out? Doing anything fun?.."

Yeah, I hate this question, too. If I don't do anything then I think I'm perceived as a boring person. Which is probably true, anyway.

"Everyone laughs at you behind your back. I was embarrassed to go out with you in public when we dated. You looked like sh*t 60% of the time."

"You're a terrible writer."

"Drama queen." (I cry a lot, but now I try to hold back as best I can and just cry alone. I get anxious that this is how a lot of people see me...)

These are no good. I'm really sorry.

 

[Waybuloo]

'I wish i could have a "Good" son'.

That must've made you feel crap, of course it did. There is no excuse for parents saying that. I think this would be one of the worst.

 

[Gaucho]

"why do you always behave this retarded?" or

a person who actually i like and he was nice and didn't have bad intentions said in front of like other 6 people:" xxxxx(my name), is a nice person, but he is just weird"

 

[JCVA]

My co-worker once asked me this, "Are you always aloof?".

I was taken aback and I couldn't give a straight answer. He seemed to be in good terms with me before but that comment just came out of nowhere. Really dampened my spirits that day and onwards.

 

[wariomona]

The person who was one of my more important "friends" in my lifetime (practically had a crush on them) one day yelled at me in high school in front of a whole heap of people, "Get a personality!"

Friendship was already scary enough...

 

[Srijita52]

The person who was one of my more important "friends" in my lifetime (practically had a crush on them) one day yelled at me in high school in front of a whole heap of people, "Get a personality!"

Friendship was already scary enough...

Wow I'm sorry.

 

[MrSunday]

A girl i had to share a work space with in college told me i was no fun to be with and that i had no clue how to talk to people.

What a bitch. I would have loved to slap that cow across the face and shove a coconut down her throat.

Some said I was weak. That affected my confidence. Now if someone says something similar, I'll tell them to shove their opinion up their ass.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

What a bitch. I would have loved to slap that cow across the face and shove a coconut down her throat.

Some said I was weak. That affected my confidence. Now if someone says something similar, I'll tell them to shove their opinion up their ass.

Well at least their opinion is likely to be less painful than the coconut.

 

[simpsons2007]

Being told by professionals involved with our daughter that my ex has let our daughter call someone else "Daddy" a couple of times. My daughter has only one dad and will only ever have one dad and that's me!

 

[YellowBird]

This may sound strange and/or dumb, but one question which frequently causes my confidence to plummet is, "What are you doing this weekend? Going out? Doing anything fun?.." On the weekends I rarely have plans lately, and sometimes I actually enjoy being home, studying, drawing, listening to music, having a drink.

But when people ask me this (and they do frequently- extroverted coworkers, etc), and then I don't really have an answer, and they look perplexed, I immediately feel judged and start comparing myself to others. I start imagining what all of the 'normal' people are doing, out with friends, etc. And that maybe it isn't ok that I end up alone on weekends...

This gets me every time.

THIS^! i have this "friend" who always start a conversation with "what's new",like the only thing interesting in life is your new adventures!even though i know her for years since we are in the same class almost every semester,i don't really really know her,because we have never made a legit conversation,and she always asks me if something new has happened,even though i've told her before that i have sad and no friends,she keeps putting me on the spot.

 

[Canis lupus]

"You'll never make it in life!" My grandfather used to yell that at me practically every time we disagreed on something. I kicked him out of my life almost 4 years ago but often I can still hear him talking down at me in my head, especially when i'm working on something.

 

[Canis lupus]

'I wish i could have a "Good" son'.

Thought I had it bad with my grandfather but that comming from your own father, there are just no words. Sorry man.

 

[YellowBird]

"you are schizophrenic,don't ever call me again,i hope you fail,because you are so self destructive you deserve it you ****ing cripple,people are afraid of you because you look like a freak".-my best friend

 

[MrJones]

When my teacher said she wanted me to fail my exams to go to uni. Even when I passed, with a few higher grades than expected, I kept feeling like ****.

 

[Opaline]

this happened forever ago. it still makes me cringe a little bit. ::

in spanish class i happened to be randomly paired up with a guy i had a massive crush on. i came over and sat in a vacant seat next to him. we sat together in silence for a few mintues. i think we were waiting on instructions on what we were supposed to do during the class period.

him: "you're verrrry...."

(about 10 seconds pass. i am dying. he's talking to me, oh my gosh!)

me: "i'm very what?"

(another 5-10 seconds pass.)

him: "you're very quiet."

me: "yes. i am quiet."

end of conversation. FOREVER.

eep.

Oh my god, that me laugh the way you wrote it out, but still that totally sucks. I'm sorry :/