one comment which has affected your confidence

[The Observer]

Rather than talk about bad experiences, I'm gonna talk about one that effected my confidence in a good way.

"Good work, Keep it up" Jens Wojnar (producer) said it to me after hearing my music.

 

[Boby]

Rather than talk about bad experiences, I'm gonna talk about one that effected my confidence in a good way.

"Good work, Keep it up" Jens Wojnar (producer) said it to me after hearing my music.

Wow are you a musician?Can i have your autograph? ::
Anyway...
Last summer when i was working as an apprentice my mentor told me i did a great job too, gave me some confidence boost about my skills but almost zero social confidence ::

 

[The Observer]

Well...I'm trying Boby lol.

But its great to get that confidence boost as it can really turn your whole day/week around. I think that as you build confidence within yourself it just naturally moves to all other areas of your life i.e social life. I sense you have it in you to be a very cool confident guy.

 

[Iluv]

In a bad way: "I hope you blow your brains out." - Courtesy of my brother.
In a good way: "You are really good at makeup" - A popular girl. And it wasn't sarcastic! Neither of these two were sarcastic.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

After getting a big chunk of my hair pulled out in a scuffle-
she: You're just jealous because no one likes you! You'll never get a boyfriend-- you're ****ing hideous!


Her 'boyfriend' was a friend of mine. I used to go to his house and play super nintendo. She flipped out at me because I jokingly called him retarded.
...I am hideous, but she didn't have to rub it in my face that no one liked me.
How rude. hah!

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I thought of another one--

A girl had told me that a boy I ran against on track told her that he liked me.
I really doubted it and didn't care; but he called me out one day during a break from class.
I went outside and he was standing there with 5 or 6 other boys, then he said:

"Who would like you? You're retarded!"
Then those boys proceeded to throw me to the ground and kick me in the stomach and face.

And I was almost suspended for fighting back.
What's with the fixation on making fun of people for 'not being liked' or 'not having a boyfriend' anyway?
So dumb.

 

[Scenic]

^^^
That is absolutely horrible. I hate immature people that think it's cool to mess with people. They probably did all that to make themselves feel better about some unconscious insecurity. Ugh. I'm sorry you had to go through that.



Worst thing for me was probably being called useless and a piece of garbage. It always hurts more when it's from your parents.

 

[Boby]

I thought of another one--

A girl had told me that a boy I ran against on track told her that he liked me.
I really doubted it and didn't care; but he called me out one day during a break from class.
I went outside and he was standing there with 5 or 6 other boys, then he said:

"Who would like you? You're retarded!"
Then those boys proceeded to throw me to the ground and kick me in the stomach and face.

And I was almost suspended for fighting back.
What's with the fixation on making fun of people for 'not being liked' or 'not having a boyfriend' anyway?
So dumb.

OMG...are you serious?I thought those things could happen only in movies ,i guess i was wrong :: .How mentally deranged someone has to be to hit a girl , those guys don't deserve to live in this society they deserve to be castrated.I'm really sorry you had go through all that.

 

[Feeling_Nothing]

"How does it feel to have no friends"
"I'm sorry but I can't keep talking to you"

 

[montejocarlo]

"We raised you the right way. How did you become like this? Is that what they teach you at school? The more you learn, the more you become twisted."

they might as well have said they despised me.

the nicest words i've ever received were from my college prof. who, ironically should have been the one hating me because i was such a headache. she showed me more trust and understanding than the very people i expected. that's when i realized that maybe it isn't about me, but the people looking. the way we see things say more about us than the things we're looking at.

 

[Kiwong]

"it doesn't look like anxiety to me."

 

[KiaKaha]

"Oh goody - look who it is, my favourite person..."
"No one likes you and we dont want you here"

You know - there is a lot I could say in this thread - but they arent really comments exactly (although I can think of quite a few and tell a few stories of how incredibly rude and nasty some people have been to me) - it's more behaviour, its subtlety and exclusion - people arent outright verbally rude to me because they cant be - its too bold to do so - so people have to express their contempt for one another through small nuances such as facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.

and it still happens to this day - I pick up on it immediately - I am too stupidly polite and shy to do anything about it though.

 

[Gaucho]

there have been some.. but I remember that one. I(15 or so) was at the school cafe with a buddy and that little kid came(like 7 years old) and told me in the face:" wow you are ugly, I bet you don't get any chicks" that as a stab in my soul.

 

[Kiwong]

"You're weird"

 

[twiggle]

I think I wrote the insulting ones earlier in the thread.

I've thought of another comment, though it wasn't an insult but it still affected my confidence around others. Somebody once told me that she thought I hated her, when in all honesty I didn't at all, I considered her a friend.

It made me worry about how my SA comes across to others and how I might come across as cold and distant. I became unsure on how to act around others. Especially since I've also been told I can be "overbearingly" friendly at times (mainly if drunk).

Oh another insulting one. "You look like Bugs Bunny" - **** off.

 

[Silatuyok]

When I was in high school my best friend told me I had an inferiority complex. I guess it was kinda true, but her blunt words just drove me even deeper into my shell. If someone told me that now I'd have some choice words to throw back at them.

 

[polishgirl]

I've got quite a few. I've gotten a lot of positive comments over the years, it's just they never stick with me as much as the negative. But the ones I heard pretty recently: "You are very mature for your age", "you are so much fun", "People like you, socially accepted everywhere, don't know what it's like to be a misfit."
The last one being half, half, an insult and a compliment at the same time. I don't know how to interpret it.

But as for the negative ones... I could go on forever.
"It's not that you are weird... it's just that you are so awkward, and the fact that you are scared of any contact makes me feel so uncomfortable around you. And some people also thought you were a lesbian, so pretty but without a boyfriend? You just try way too hard. I hope you change. Oh, and you are a true bitch!"
Definitely the most hurtful because she was a friend I used to really respect and trust. Now I know that she was manipulative and truly, a psychological bully, noticing my weaknesses right away (I confined in her about my low self-esteem) and using it against me. But it changed me forever, and I remember every detail of what she said to me. Even though, deep inside I am certain none of these are true, I have my doubts and sub-consciously I fear that people view me like that. I started to be very worried about people thinking I'm not interested in guys. I mean... I USED to be worried, now I know that is completely untrue haha and just don't care. That's the only thing that passed

Other negative comments include:
"I never had problems like you! You are trying to tell me you have friends? I don't believe you, I know you are lying!" - my brother when I was maybe 12? Remember it to this day, I still seek constant approval from him even though I've grown up a bit.
"I would give you up for adoption!" - my dear mom. We have a very rocky relationship, I've said worst things to her, but still, a memory from my childhood I can't erase.
"I've never been happy until right now. You and Victor (my brother) never truly gave me the happiness I needed: I was tied up with you and your mother, now I have a partner that understands me... NOW I truly came to live. Sometimes I wonder what children are for... because definitely not for joy." - My father to me, just like a year ago. The best thing is I know he wasn't trying to hurt me, he genuinely forgot who he is speaking to. I know it. Which makes it even worst.
"Oh... I thought you didn't want her here so I said we were going the other direction, haha." my friend to another friend, in front of me. Both of them, two years later became one of my best friends and I know they truly care about me. It still hurts to this day though and makes me feel I will never be good enough.

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

It's a tie between "When you kill yourself, can I have all of your stuff?" and "You deserved it when your father beat you". Both have made me seriously question my worth.

 

[Phoenixx]

This one jumped in my mind today. Some little kid said to me a few years ago, "Ew, what's wrong with your skin?"

I have keratosis pilaris (basically constant dry skin, with redness and bumps), had it as long as I can remember. It's not as bad now since taking wheat out of my diet, but it's still there and I doubt it'll ever go away. It's something so simple, yet makes me feel disgusting. I've gained some confidence since then, and I'm not too frightened by showing my arms. I have my days though where I just want to cover up completely and hide.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

This one jumped in my mind today. Some little kid said to me a few years ago, "Ew, what's wrong with your skin?"
.

same, same, same.
I've been asked about my skin alot.
My relatives used to make fun of my skin and my whole face all the time.
redness, acne, yellowing and bruised discolouration + dry and oily skin.

lots of;
"What are those bumps on your skin? You look weird."
"Don't you wash your face?"
"You look like a corpse"