Loneliest. Christmas. Ever.

[JaneDoe]

...just like last year.. I didn't maintain any friendships and I ignored my family. Stayed in my room to soak in my loneliness. Deluded in my cyberworld. Guy I'm in love with wanted to meet up. I told him to **** off, politely. No I said...I am not worthy of you, why can't you just leave me alone? Happy Holidays everybody. <3

 

[crazycatlady27]

i dont want to sound mean, but if you do not like to be lonely why push everyone away?

 

[JaneDoe]

million dollar question

Am I the only one who does this? I doubt it...

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I do it. Hell, I'm an expert at it! :thumbup:

 

[JaneDoe]

hi five~!!

 

[recluse]

lonely but pushing people away, classic low self esteem. Ive done it myself.

 

[JuiceB]

I was very lonely as well. I had a chance to go to my sister's house for Christmas but decided not to.

lonely but pushing people away, classic low self esteem. Ive done it myself.

I think you're right.

 

[Flanscho]

For Christmas, I always take the train to visit my family for about five days. They live about 350 to 400km away from me. Then for New Years Eve, I return to Cologne, and spend it with my friends.

In the past, it happened that I spent New Years Eve alone, but that changed...

 

[MikeyC]

Guy I'm in love with wanted to meet up. I told him to **** off, politely. No I said...I am not worthy of you, why can't you just leave me alone?

You really should've just met up with him. I understand the horrors of low self-esteem, but there's a chance that you've hurt his feelings because he thinks you are worthy.

 

[laure15]

I had a good Christmas. I spent it holed up in a room writing fiction. Being alone is not that bad. But since you're love in with the guy, I think you should give it a try.

 

[Hellhound]

I have low self esteem, but (excuse me if I sound like a jerk), pushing others away because "they don't deserve me", well... I find that to be silly. If I crave company, I spend time with them, unless they treat me bad of course.

I'm sorry, but I never understood this behavior. You are in love with someone, but you sabotage yourself by telling them to go away. Why? Just why? Why is it so wrong to spend time with them?

I have a friend who pulled something like this. He disappeared for about a week without telling me. I was worried sick because I had no news from him. I found out later through someone else that he was avoiding me. When I asked what was going on, he told me that he believed I needed a break from him. I got really mad and told him that he doesn't decide when I should take a break from anyone, I am the one who decides that.

Honestly, if my mate did this to me, I would be pretty mad as well. I love him to pieces, and him depriving me of his presence for no reason would be just... I don't know how to describe it. It would just upset me a lot.

Think of this guy and how he would feel if you did that to him. There's really no reason for that. He probably loves you a lot.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

There's really no reason for that.

No, there really isn't.

But it's not about reason. It's not rational or planned behavior (speaking for myself), and I typically don't even realize what I've done or why until afterwards. I've gotten quite angry with myself afterwards, when there's time for thinking.

 

[Ignace]

Until 1 day you really will be alone, then you'll regret. So avoid that situation and go spend time with your family. It's not the time of the year to act silly. Why do you even do that ? You don't like them or just want more attention from them ?

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I know this routine all too well. Get the opposite sex interested (our of sheer loneliness and to validate your self worth) and then make excuses not to meet up to avoid rejection.
I also spend way to much time in Cyber world.

 

[OceanMist]

I have a similar thing I do but it's a bit different.

To explain it: I often meet women online that I don't think are attractive and then I kind of stop initiating texts with them, there were times when we'd have sex once and i'd still do this, and it slowly deteriorates into no more communication. All of this happens because these particular women aren't attractive to me.

As a guy when you stop initiating texts the women usually quickly see you aren't into them and they usually just stop talking to you.

I'd like to think if I was to be in love with a woman and felt she was attractive, that I would not push her away. I don't understand why you'd push away someone that you want to be with? Being alone all the time has got to really suck compared to spending time with a lover.

Again, I've never been in love, and i understand having some alone time is good, but I just don't see how hiding in your room during all your free time is better than spending it with the spouse of your dreams? Maybe I just haven't been in love so I don't understand that behavior, who knows.

 

[mikebird]

Oh yeah

Yet another fresh thread!

The power of SPW!

I had a normal childhood, nervous about my family and subtle clear understanding of my siblings, nieces and all their social advantages, while hiding all of this to me until getting 30 years old, dwelling on the murky past.

I have given up on family, forging my own path, although it hurts when this doesn't work. I feel I have nothing to give to other people. Same to spend Xmas with father and nobody else, when inter-relation is not smooth at all. Terrified of other family who've all been 100% successful by just doing nothing

They ignore me. I ignore them. Humbug

Connection lost long ago. Separation between family groups has occurred, I'm sure, because I am the black sheep of the family. Still remembering the last time I purely said that to my sis-in-law's new friend she was bonding with (stranger) at my niece's wedding...

Hmmm.. do you like weddings? I've been to many. Many. My siblings, aunties, uncles and cousins all throughout my youth. Oohhh.

Xmas brings it all back to me. Whoooops/ Ouch/ Ooohh..

People all do the act of being nice. I can see them hiding it, in their eyes, looking at the past; their brushing over all the 'freak' they'd never come out and admit to it

 

[AndyHan]

what is christmas?

 

[Diend]

I hope you become more motivated when you realize there are people who are worse off than you. Unless you enjoy loneliness which from the subject line i can tell you do not.

 

[THeCARS1979]

...just like last year.. I didn't maintain any friendships and I ignored my family. Stayed in my room to soak in my loneliness. Deluded in my cyberworld. Guy I'm in love with wanted to meet up. I told him to **** off, politely. No I said...I am not worthy of you, why can't you just leave me alone? Happy Holidays everybody. <3

hey why not just give something a chance Jane. At least you had someone after you

 

[awkwardamanda]

Guy I'm in love with wanted to meet up. I told him to **** off, politely. No I said...I am not worthy of you, why can't you just leave me alone?

That is mean. I can understand feeling unworthy and even saying so, but telling him to **** off is just cruel. You can't say that politely. You should probably apologize for that.