Is it possible to be happy

[KiaKaha]

I mean really? Is it actually possible to become something that is so contrary to how things feel like they should naturally be? I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like to feel content and fulfilled, or have life to be experienced as exciting or exhilarating. It seems that its so much EASIER to be unhappy than it is to be happy...it just feels right. Is it possible to change your entire outlook and who you are...? I dont think it is because I dont think its possible to change core beliefs. It would be like changing who you are as an entire person...

Unless someone can convince me otherwise...

 

[Confuseddd]

Oh of course, it is very possible to be happy , i promise you. You have to want it, you have to want the change and believe it could work. Your feeling miserable all the time... first ask yourself why? what is it thats causing you to be so upset? Then accept it, whatever it is accept that its there, and then work to change it. I was like you at one point too. Just miserable, but once i understood myself and why i was feeling that way , i was able to change it. Understanding is a huuuuuuuge part of healing , trust me kiwi. Self discovery is so important with us SA sufferers. i wish the best for you

 

[deleted user 1]

Well, lets take a look at this question from a different point of view. What is happiness? Happiness is when what you think, say and do are in harmony. It comes from the way you think and from the succesful attainment of one's own values. What we can ascertain from this is that happiness is something that can only happen once you decide within yourself to be so. It's not surprising to see that the word "happiness" is an adverb. How can you be happy if you do not even know what this is to you? How can you ever be in a state of harmony when you do not figure out these values. I hear a alot of very ambiguous talk about happiness from a lot of peopl, not only SA sufferers, but we in particular tend to be the most inactive in changing any aspect of our lives. Happiness is a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly without regret. Happiness is not a reward, it's a consequence, and above all it is not something you can have until you decide to be. There are many people in this world with nothing, who are far happier than us... even more, I'll leave you with this video in the hope that you may derive at least a little inspiration and motivation. He speaks far better than myself, so I won't don't want to attempt to quote him...

YouTube - LOOK AT YOURSELF AFTER WATCHING THIS.mp4

 

[lunarla]

You're definitely right about it being way easier to be unhappy. At least when you get to a certain point. If I were to let myself, I'd probably be a sobbing mess and never get out of bed. Instead, I try to focus on things that I so often don't appreciate enough. That, and the refound need for knowledge. That's what's keeping me somewhat content.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Yes it is. One of my facebook friends, is living proof of it. Her name is Maria Elita and she wrote a book called "The Miracle". This is a short description of her book:

"Maria Elita watched her ‘perfect life’ disintegrate. But instead of giving up, she reached out for a miracle … and found one. An unmissable story of survival, courage and unrelenting strength, this is Maria’s real-life odyssey through the valley of despair, with the break-up of her marriage, onto the other side, where the Miracle of Life was revealed to her. Within her deeply personal memoir, Maria is a spiritual counsellor who speaks compassionately to anyone who has battled the demons of darkness, rejection, grief and anger."

What this doesn't tell you is that she was on the verge of suicide and very nearly went through with it, until something inside of her clicked and she found something that could keep her going. She is now living a mostly happy life, and is a great inspiration to many a people who have been going through some tough times.

 

[coyote]

try to remember that depression is a result of altered brain chemistry

the way you feel now - unhappy, miserable, etc. - is NOT normal

don't believe your own thoughts

your brain is not functioning at it's best

it can be corrected

you can be happy

 

[Kiwong]

I honestly feel moments of incredible joy and satisfaction when things go right, despite the darkness I lived through. The hard times make you appreciate the great days even more. You're never going to be happy 100% of the time, but you can cluthch happiness from the jaws of despair on a regular basis.

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

have hope shykiwi .. that's what keeps every one of us going. even if it's just to get out of bed every morning.. why? because theres hope for a better day ahead. even if it turns out ****. you'll get out of bed again the next day hoping for a better day again and when you least expect it .. it'll come

.. like i cry sometimes infront of my computer late at night because im so unhappy, without any acknowledgment from people in the real world. but still go to sleep after a good cry and get up again in the morning

 

[Forgotten-Children]

It's possible for a short period of time because if something good happens for you sometime in your life, you would experience a sense of glee. It just most likely won't last long if you start fading back to what is occuring around you in the world, thus heading back to your "normal" emotion where you seem emotionless or even strait back to depression.

The only time you'll never be happy is if you force yourself to feel this way (and I know how that feels.)

Is it possible to be happy all of the time? No, not really. I mean, sure it would seem great at first but it starts to eat away at you because you acknowledge the fact that you know no other emotion. Thus leading to depression which defeats the lifetime of happiness.

Atleast that's what I think. :/

 

[BlackPuma]

I don't really think it's easier to be unhappy then it is to be happy. It's easier to just follow the path we're on, and if that path is the one on which you are unhappy, then that one will seem easier.

Once we find that what makes us happy, that path is easily walked. However, that path/frame of mind will not just present itself. That requires a little effort on our part. ;3

But fret not, you can most definitely become happy.

 

[Ignace]

I think the key to being happy is accepting yourself. People who are happy with themselves always seem to be happy.

 

[userremoved]

I think the key to being happy is accepting yourself. People who are happy with themselves always seem to be happy.

I agree, and thats one thing a lot of us social phobics have a problem with. A lot of us don't like ourselves enough. Thats probably why you'll see people that can be born with no limbs, or be horribly disfigured and still find happiness, because they learned to accept themselves despite their condition.

 

[Feathers]

There's a guy who's in a wheelchair and got married and has a daughter and paints WONDERFUL paintings and is very active in a non-profit for artists with disabilities...

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade..

That said, I read more that 5 hours computer a day causes depression, there has been a study. I'll post a link later on this week if I can find it, or just google 'computer depression'. That's why EscapeArtist and I are limiting computer access..

Also, nutrition and exercise, or weather (or any upcoming exams ) can cause misery.. So take a look at WHEN this happens to you, you may see patterns.. I remember how happy you were after a day at the beach!! Imagine how much fun it will be again after the exams are behind you etc!!

I remember when I was stuck in a bad job, or before exams, it felt like it would never get better, but it does!!

Things just get... different.. It's like in video games (or mountain climbing), if you want to go to the next level, you have to make some effort.. If you do no effort, there's likely there won't be rewards..

You're in a stressful situation right now, finishing education, looking for work/career.. It's not easy, lots of people are stressed at a time like this..

Depression and misery are just Life's way to tell you 'Do Something!' (you may know what it is and just don't wanna do it, or afraid to do it, or you may not know, and you need to research it first..) It's like wanting to go into a wall in a video game, where there is no opening.. You need to find the openings and choose one of them to go through, then things can get better or worse (and then you can start the game anew if necessary!!)

If you imagine a world with no problems and life with no irritations, lots of religions have a name for this: heaven/nirvana..
Earth is for learning things though.. You can live happier, don't expect to run out of interesting things to do/challenges/levels to go through.. (some people call them 'problems' but they are really opportunities!!)

 

[Snowdrop]

I can see where you're coming from. Believe me I do, I have been feeling down for so long I'm literally sick of it. But without that possibility and that hope of happiness, there's nothing left for me. So I have to believe there's a possibility. It's the whole point for me.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yes.
there are zip ties near by.

 

[sevenroses]

I usually look at the bright site and give myself a reality check so I can appreciate life more. I'm happy that I'm healthy and don't have cancer or any disease. I'm happy that I'm not poor and homeless and that I'm financially abundant. I'm happy that I don't have to fight in war. Not only do I pity people like cancer survivors or cancer recovered patients or people who have been saved from an accident or saved from a near death experience. I really admire the fact that these people have this new level of appreciating life because they know the meaning of having a second chance. Thinking about of all this makes me appreciate life a bit more and think about all the riches we have as bonus.

 

[Kinetik]

I think most of us are so introspective that we wouldn't know what happy looked like if it painted itself purple and danced around on our foreheads. It would take a radical shift in overall mentality as opposed to a situational betterment that we all too often perceive to be what we need. It's possible to be flat broke, down and out, and still be happy. So it really does come down to how you view life and your surroundings. I tend to think it gets a bit easier as you get older if only because there's an aspect of world-weariness that isn't around when you're young; a sort of numbing to the kind of crap life throws at you.

What I do know is that I go through phases of good and bad, and that generally speaking, the more active/busy I stay, the happier I am. It's important to keep practicing life- and social skills, and to keep putting yourself out there as often as possible. Beyond that, I honestly don't know.