I want a relationship

[upndwn]

I am so tired of seeing everyone else meet a partner, moving in together and have relationships which has lasted for years.

Almost everyone I know, even the most socially awkward manages somehow to meet someone, me I'm 33 and my longest relationship as an adult lasted for three months.

Every girls I meet either don't want to get into anything serious or have some baggage from the past which stops any hope of any meaningful relationship dead in its tracks.

I am socially outgoing, most of my friends thinks I'm outspoken and funny. I don't think that I'm especially unattractive and most girls I meet seems to like me. Yet I never manage to get close enough for anything meaningful to happen.

I'm really tired of meeting a girl I like only to find out that nothing will come of it except for maybe a night of passion or that she just wants to be friends.

How come some people manage to get into a relationship so easily?

 

[Agent_Violet]

i like to quote a favorite comedian of mine...

"love...when you're not in love it's like walking in the rain past a crowded house party and you weren't invited. once you're in love, you're in that party searching frantically for the exit."

 

[Waybuloo]

A lot of people are in bad relationships. I won't sing the praise of being partnered up that much. Having been on both sides, I would say I prefer being single.

Maybe you act too nice hence girls put you in the friend zone. Maybe you have been hanging around the wrong type of girl for you. Or you could be so socially confident that girls think they are not good enough for you.

''Every girls I meet either don't want to get into anything serious or have some baggage from the past which stops any hope of any meaningful relationship dead in its tracks. '' This probably explains why a lot of relationships are dead ends.

I think most people have emotional baggage, whether from childhood, their families, or relationships. I for one have a lot of emotional baggage but it worked. How much emotional baggage are you talking about? Is it really that debilitating or can you accommodate it?

 

[TheSanctuarian]

The theory is; if you are looking for love, you cannot find it. and if you turn your back on it, you never will. all you can do is live your life, and hope it comes knocking

 

[upndwn]

Maybe I'm becoming desperate, but it's so hard to see others getting into relationships so casually. During the years I suffered from SP I couldn't even talk to girls so I can understand why nothing happened then. Now I am much more confident, but I still can't just walk up to a girl and ask her out. Bad or Good, I would still like to at least try to have a relationship which lasts more than a few weeks. People in relationships always say that I should be glad to be single and that relationships are overrated and yadda yadda yadda. But I'm 33 and not getting any younger. Most of my friends have several long term relationships behind them and many are married or have been in the same relationship for years. It's easy for them, they already have all those things and have for a long time they take it for granted. I have more or less been single since I was 19 so I have no interest in that life anymore. People always say that I should stop looking for love, but I tried that for years and no one came knocking at my door. Maybe it's just bad luck or maybe there's something wrong with me that I just can't see.

 

[Felgen]

Expand your horizon and try looking for love outside your regular social circle. That's what I did.

 

[upndwn]

Expand your horizon and try looking for love outside your regular social circle. That's what I did.

I'm actually trying that now, but I don't know if it will pan out right. I'm in kind of a complicated situation with a girl I met last weekend and until for a few minutes ago I didn't know she liked me. I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens but maybe it will turn out alright for once.

 

[ridicule]

i like to quote a favorite comedian of mine...

"love...when you're not in love it's like walking in the rain past a crowded house party and you weren't invited. once you're in love, you're in that party searching frantically for the exit."

Bingo, basically what I was going to say

 

[TheSanctuarian]

How many parties that you have attended to, end like that?

 

[Invisibleman]

Yeah I know what you mean.Im young but ive never been in a relationship,ive never kissed a girl. It truly does get old seeing all these couples and putting on a fake smile and pretending to be happy for them.

Its especially annoying since its the summer where its just love in the air absolutely everywhere<--lol it ryhmed. I agree though that it seems like everybody can find love so easily,even the people more socially crippled than me.

Having a relationship is something I try hard to ignore but that is a task when its everywhere you look,when everyone around you is finding a relationship or has already been in one for a long time. I hate it but I actually get really jealous when I see couples now,it actually really bothers me.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

I think having a relationship shouldn't be a priority.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

i like to quote a favorite comedian of mine...

"love...when you're not in love it's like walking in the rain past a crowded house party and you weren't invited. once you're in love, you're in that party searching frantically for the exit."

Nice quote.

But I think relationships act as multiplicators, if you're healthy emotionally they make your life even better, otherwise they're far more trouble than what they're worth.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Most people have a need for affection and validation. If you can fulfill that need being alone, good for you.

But I think most people who feel that way is because they have the choice of being in a relationship or not. But what then if you don't have that choice? There is people like the OP, who has got nothing despite trying. Or like me, incapable of starting a conversation with anyone who I'll like to have a relationship.

Having relationships is a common ocurrence in most people's lifes. So not being able to experience something that is supossed to be a natural event in life could make us give it more importance than the average person.

 

[Bo592]

people always tell me the trick is to be happy alone because when your happy alone it won`t last. because onces women see somthing going good for you that when they fall for you.

 

[drganon]

Love Stinks - Wedding Singer - YouTube

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I want a good relationship with myself, first.

 

[Fade To Black]

Yeah I know what you mean.Im young but ive never been in a relationship,ive never kissed a girl. It truly does get old seeing all these couples and putting on a fake smile and pretending to be happy for them.

Its especially annoying since its the summer where its just love in the air absolutely everywhere<--lol it ryhmed. I agree though that it seems like everybody can find love so easily,even the people more socially crippled than me.

Having a relationship is something I try hard to ignore but that is a task when its everywhere you look,when everyone around you is finding a relationship or has already been in one for a long time. I hate it but I actually get really jealous when I see couples now,it actually really bothers me.

I've never either been in a relationship. The best thing to do is realise that you are your own person and stop comparing yourself to others. I know this is tough when you see happy couples and think "why can't that be me!" but you need to try hard to accept that everyone is different.

 

[A friend]

A few weeks ago, I was biased against the idea of having a romantic relationship. But after being attacked by a stingray, my thoughts on this subject changed (strange, isn't it?)

If somebody here wants a girlfriend/future wife, I think this might help:

How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Find Love


The law of attraction is something that comes from the book called "The Secret".

Last month, I wanted a big (and very positive) thing to occur within my life. I won't reveal what it was (for privacy reasons), but I will say that I used The Secret's methods for it to work.

It's sounds stupid and childish at first, but these things actually happened. And what's even stranger is the fact that I was thoroughly specific on what I wanted, and less than a few days later...I obtained the thing that I asked for.

Of course, using the "Law of Attraction" to find love is probably just as difficult as quantum physics, and I haven't tried that yet.

But for people that have optimal patience, I'd say that you should probably give this a try.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

perhaps you can resort to a dating website? you can share about yourself and make it clear you'd like a serious relationship, and a lot of women might be interested in you.
also, if you don't have a dog you may want to consider getting one. it may sound silly but dogs do attract chicks, especially dogs like labs or retrievers who are so friendly and playful. take a dog for a walk and women will probably come up to you wanting to pet the dog and it's a great way to get a conversation started. just an idea haha

 

[JamesSmith]

This is kind of a confusing thread. I see a lot of people claim that you must be happy alone before you are ready for a relationship. Well, doesn't that kind of contradict the millions of people who are trying to get into relationships in the world?

What I'm saying is, the main reasons people get into relationships is because they aren't happy alone and want to be with somebody to make themselves happier. I am now questioning whether happiness by yourself is even something that should be achieved. I mean, is anyone really happy by themselves for years on end? I'd say almost nobody is, it's why people keep getting into relationships.

Personally, I like myself, and I enjoy my own company. I am happy with myself and who I am as a person, and I've been that way for years. But, you know what, I'm not 100% okay. I'm missing something. I am kind of sad inside.

Whether we like it or not, we have this biological desire for intimate connection. It's not a problem of self-validation, it's just a desire that is there. We seek the validation of an intimate partner. There's nothing wrong with anyone when they have this feeling. It's called being human. To deny this is lying to yourself.

I may have more to add to this later.