How to say goodbye to a room full of people??

[sahxox]

Hellooo
One simple issue I have is saying goodbye to a room full of people.
It is so awkward cos I'm not confident doing it
I don't want to be rude and not say goodbye, but when I do, it comes across unconfident and weak... :/
Then this gets me down and the negative sp thoughts conjure - paranoia nobody likes me, cos I'm rude or a loser etc. and the cycle continues
I just really think that if I could master the process of leaving - whether it's work, school, sporting team, the gym etc., it'd be a massive thing in finetuning the eradication of sp from my life.
Any tips or comments would be great

 

[kihira]

This is really hard, I can remember feeling stuck in the room at times. I will often wait until others are leaving and go at the same time. I think I usually say "Bye, all" or something like that

 

[sahxox]

This is really hard, I can remember feeling stuck in the room at times. I will often wait until others are leaving and go at the same time. I think I usually say "Bye, all" or something like that

Yeah that's what I do - wait for others to go. But sometimes you can't :/ I want to somehow be confident doing this myself so it's one less worry in each day

 

[doctor_who]

I just say goodbye to the person who was hosting the party or a general bye everyone

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Even though I've done a lot of progress SA-wise in the last years, I haven't yet mastered the art of leaving a room full of people without being scared, but I found some tips to make it less awkward. First, choose your moment wisely - honestly, I try to choose the moment where I can leave without anyone noticing, haha. But if I can't, I choose a moment where people are not too busy and they will hear me easily... Then I just go "bye all see you tomorrow" or something like this. If you're like me and you have a hard time speaking to a group, spot one or two people who are closer to you and say goodbye to them specifically, while also giving a quick look to the rest of the room, in case someone else noticed you're leaving (then you can adress to this other person as well).

But really what we should do is just get our stuff, head to the door and throw a casual "see you tomorrow" without thinking twice about it

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

lol me too! but what i do is i try to look to some random people i feel more comfortable with then i say 'see ya' to that person in a much louder voice. then others would hear and say 'see ya' too then that's how i respond back to them.

 

[sahxox]

it's comforting to know it's not just me lol
Yeah I sometimes target people near the door but often too quietly. Just gotta yell it in their face I guess haha

 

[Ithior]

I guess you tell goodbye to the host like someone said, and if people are in groups you can say goodbye to the groups of people you know one by one. Just a "bye" and a wave per group or something. That's what I usually do anyway. If I'm leaving with someone else I just follow their lead.

 

[Flanscho]

Rough translation (since I'm german) is something like...

Me: "I'm off. Have fun and see you soon!"

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I think the good old "don't think just do it" is quite simply the best idea. Thinking too much makes you insecure, just say "good bye all, have a nice day" or whatever and be done with it.

 

[jaim38]

I remember many times at family gatherings, my dad would force me to say hi to every relative, individually, as in "Hello Uncle Rob" And when it came time to leave, I was also forced to say goodbye to everyone individually, as in "Bye Uncle Rob". I have 20+ relatives on my dad's side of the family; imagine doing this to every one of them. Sometimes, I didn't acknowledge some relatives and they get angry, just like that. One time, I said "Goodbye everyone" but that didn't cut it; my dad forced me to say goodbye to each person individually. Family gatherings suck.

 

[Froggy246]

Lol brilliant, this forum is really great, it's not just me!
I struggle with this as well, I sometimes stay at events longer than I need or want to because I can't see a way to make a smooth departure, I'll just sit there and watch to see if/when there's a good window, perhaps when the person's party it is is alone or available and I can go up and say a quick goodbye, with a general wave goodbye to everyone else who is in my line of sight. But sometimes I don't see a suitable window so I'll either just go to the toilet and then sneak off, or I'll just let the person know who is the nearest to me and then make a sharp exit, I did this on Friday just gone in fact and basically said 'I'm gonna try and make my way home because I feel a bit sick' and then bolted. I do feel a bit rude doing this, so I'll often text the person later on or the next day and say something like ' sorry I didn't get a chance to say good bye, I had to shoot off because of this or that reason'
I might start one on greetings next, of the modern sort, as I find those tricky too!

 

[dangermouse]

Just say a simple goodbye

 

[Hellhound]

I just wave and say bye to all. They usually respond to it.

 

[bcsr]

Chunk up the double deuces and yell "Peace!"

 

[AllAroundMyHat]

Difficult this. Where I lived before it was traditional to go round to each person and shake hands or kiss, as greeting and farewell. Therefore, for an avoidant, taking ones leave from a roomfull of people was effectively impossible. I found it very hard to leave, and when I did I just used to slip away, and soon got a reputation as being rude. Now I have moved away to another country so I am no longer officially a bad person. Funny how peoples basic notion of good and bad are so arbitrary.

 

[laure15]

^Exactly! Etiquette varies from culture to culture. In some cultures, people greet with handshakes while in others, people bow to each other. Rudeness is arbitrary.

 

[sahxox]

Difficult this. Where I lived before it was traditional to go round to each person and shake hands or kiss, as greeting and farewell. Therefore, for an avoidant, taking ones leave from a roomfull of people was effectively impossible. I found it very hard to leave, and when I did I just used to slip away, and soon got a reputation as being rude. Now I have moved away to another country so I am no longer officially a bad person. Funny how peoples basic notion of good and bad are so arbitrary.

What country did you live in and where did u move to?
I'm probably lucky in the sense that I live in Australia, and social gatherings are extremely informal compared to other countries I've visited in Europe. Although aussie people are expected to be more 'friendly' and that so idk you can't win lol

 

[Amitush123]

Wow, right in the spot! sometimes I say a feeble goodbye that is aimed at everyone and reaches no one, sometimes I say goodbye to one or two people as if the others are supposed to get the message..sometimes I simply leave without saying goodbye

 

[sahxox]

Wow, right in the spot! sometimes I say a feeble goodbye that is aimed at everyone and reaches no one, sometimes I say goodbye to one or two people as if the others are supposed to get the message..sometimes I simply leave without saying goodbye

Yeah that's where I'm at :/ I find I do better if I try to be positive but it's hard