How to get a boyfriend
- Thread starter Rxqueen
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Boby
Well-known member
I don't know , i don't have any idea how to get a girlfriend let alone a boyfriend :
:.
All i can say is this: get to know the guy pretty well and if you feel ok with him give him some IOI( indications of interest) and he will take care of the rest ...if he likes you of course .
:.All i can say is this: get to know the guy pretty well and if you feel ok with him give him some IOI( indications of interest) and he will take care of the rest ...if he likes you of course .
Yeah, take it slow and get to know him well... There are books, articles, videos and websites with tips online too
Just tell him you want to get to know him better (if he talks about sex etc) if he's too impatient, move on... You can talk about whatever you two might have in common - any common interests etc.
Some guys in their 20s may be after 'sex' only, some are not... There's some indication of this in the profiles already... Some websites have different 'vibes' and different people too...
Just tell him you want to get to know him better (if he talks about sex etc) if he's too impatient, move on... You can talk about whatever you two might have in common - any common interests etc.
Some guys in their 20s may be after 'sex' only, some are not... There's some indication of this in the profiles already... Some websites have different 'vibes' and different people too...
sullyS25
Well-known member
I would recommend working on yourself and your fears first. When you no longer fear what others think of you then it will make things easier and you won't get caught up with thinking you might sound like a complete loser and will be able to show whoever you are interested in the authentic you.
Newtype
Well-known member
Interesting. Been checking out dating sites myself, just out of curiosity, and it seems that almost all girls want is a tall guy who works out and who is ten years older than them so they can be spoiled like a princess.
Interestingly, a guy (relative) said, 'all girls are interested in sex' so huh??
I think it's good to not have too many presuppositions and be open-minded - eg 'just wishing to expand circle of friends' or find people to go dancing or hiking with... (a friend has found some people to go hiking with)
Rx, Maybe you are too 'hot-looking' or your dress/make-up might give them certain ideas too? some sites recommended to dress differently if you want to be regarded as 'wife/gf material' or just umm you know what!! (Short term interests)
Also, a guy can 'wish' something, it's actually a compliment - it's up to you to give the green light whenever you feel comfortable with it! If you aren't comfortable before you're in a steady relationship - well, some Catholic girls don't do sex before marriage and they all have been married young!! It depends what kind of guy you may date - some guys might be okay with that, some might become impatient and just go date someone else!
I think it's good to not have too many presuppositions and be open-minded - eg 'just wishing to expand circle of friends' or find people to go dancing or hiking with... (a friend has found some people to go hiking with)
Rx, Maybe you are too 'hot-looking' or your dress/make-up might give them certain ideas too?
some sites recommended to dress differently if you want to be regarded as 'wife/gf material' or just umm you know what!! (Short term interests)Also, a guy can 'wish' something, it's actually a compliment - it's up to you to give the green light whenever you feel comfortable with it! If you aren't comfortable before you're in a steady relationship - well, some Catholic girls don't do sex before marriage and they all have been married young!!
It depends what kind of guy you may date - some guys might be okay with that, some might become impatient and just go date someone else!
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coyote
Well-known member
sixth graders go to the movie with someone they like and then they tell their friends, "we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, yay!"
grown up relationships are a little more complex
try not to define and plan relationships ahead of time and then look for someone to fill the spot like you're interviewing applicants for a job
meet people, see if you like them, spend time with the ones you do like, don't spend time with the ones you don't like
then as you spend more and more time with someone, whatever develops is the relationship you find yourself in
that's when you can try to put a name to it if you want
grown up relationships are a little more complex
try not to define and plan relationships ahead of time and then look for someone to fill the spot like you're interviewing applicants for a job
meet people, see if you like them, spend time with the ones you do like, don't spend time with the ones you don't like
then as you spend more and more time with someone, whatever develops is the relationship you find yourself in
that's when you can try to put a name to it if you want
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DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
Sex is on a guy's mind quite a bit, but what separates the "good" from the "bad" is how well they can control it. Just don't give yourself up so easily. But, anyway, to get a boyfriend, you can do it the passive or the aggressive way. Doing it passive means that you've got to show the guy that you're interested in ways like smiling, being friendly, flirting (in ways like proposing the idea that he might be attracted to you or the concept of the two of you being in a relationship together), and body language (which is hard for me to explain, so I'll just use a link). Aggressive means that you're going to ask him out, cross the touch barrier by holding his hand or something, and probably asking him out yourself. Good luck!
. But, anyway, to get a boyfriend, you can do it the passive or the aggressive way. Doing it passive means that you've got to show the guy that you're interested in ways like smiling, being friendly, flirting (in ways like proposing the idea that he might be attracted to you or the concept of the two of you being in a relationship together), and body language (which is hard for me to explain, so I'll just use a link). Aggressive means that you're going to ask him out, cross the touch barrier by holding his hand or something, and probably asking him out yourself. Good luck!
Feeling_Nothing
Well-known member
I'm sorry but I'm a guy and to be honest if I meet a girl I don't think about sex, what a stereotype...I agree with Newtype here, stereotype girl only wants tall guys, who work out and are MUCH older.
I know this isn't true of course but still, that was a bit stereotyping no?
I know this isn't true of course but still, that was a bit stereotyping no?
Newtype
Well-known member
I didn't mean what I wrote. I only wrote it to show that it's easy to stereotype people based on what you see on dating sites. To be honest, this is truly what I see from 90% of the profiles that I take a look at, but I don't go around saying that all girls are like that because it's insulting for the ones that are not.
Rxqueen
Well-known member
I'm not stereotyping all men I just saying that most of the guys I've spoken to so far only want sex. And I don't know how to sort through the creeps to get to the good guys. I mean I'll be talking to a guy for a month then all of a sudden he's asking me when we are going to sleep together. That's not stereotyping that's telling the truth. And that happens about 90% of the time.
Well, a month is quite a long time to wait, isn't it? I mean, I've always made it clear that I want a relationship but I've never had to wait that long before sex. In fact, I give a guy credit if he's able to hold out for a month, because I probably couldn't do it - I would think she's stringing me along. I don't think it's creepy or bad to want it fairly soon. It's a normal, integral part of bonding, and it's not like all guys want to hit and split. There are many who want to stick around for a meaningful relationship.
Anyway, maybe you should state that you want to take things slowly on your dating profile. You can say that you just want to find a friend first, rather than a partner. That way he probably won't expect much in the way of romance or sex.
Anyway, maybe you should state that you want to take things slowly on your dating profile. You can say that you just want to find a friend first, rather than a partner. That way he probably won't expect much in the way of romance or sex.
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Richey
Well-known member
Yeah i mean there has to be some sort of rule book handed out in high school so we can all understand things a bit clearer for our twenties as well as some sort of human stretching machine and a free token dumbbell. But in all seriousness i know a few girls who only date tall guys that are built like brick houses and are either rich or almost there. It is actually very common and you can understand it to an extent.
But on the flipside there are girls that look more for a connection. Not that i would know having limited experience. This is just what i hear from other people.
The problem i have is that whenever i become friends with a female they are already taken or they already have a crush elsewhere. So i just sort of stay friendly but keep a distance.
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Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I wouldn't think someone was stringing me along. Some people either aren't comfortable with things getting physical too soon, or are afraid that the other person might only be after sex. Different people are comfortable progressing at different speeds, but I think you're right about it being a good idea to indicate at the outset that she wants to take things a little slower.
ありがとう
Well-known member
I wish I knew the answer to this but I don't I find it hard to tell when a guy is genuinely into you. A lot of people confuse love with lust. That's why you find so many people thinking they're in love during the chase, but then they lose interest once they get into a relationship and realise their personalities aren't compatible. Lust is purely just physical attraction - it would explain why many people are so eagered to have sex early on the relationship and then disappear after that. But I know there are some guys who have higher sex drive and still want a meaningful relationship, I still believe if he really liked you, he will wait. So rather than searching for a mate, you're better off making friends with the male species
I find it hard to tell when a guy is genuinely into you. A lot of people confuse love with lust. That's why you find so many people thinking they're in love during the chase, but then they lose interest once they get into a relationship and realise their personalities aren't compatible. Lust is purely just physical attraction - it would explain why many people are so eagered to have sex early on the relationship and then disappear after that. But I know there are some guys who have higher sex drive and still want a meaningful relationship, I still believe if he really liked you, he will wait. So rather than searching for a mate, you're better off making friends with the male species
Rxqueen
Well-known member
I guess taking things slower and making male friends first is a good starting point. Especially since the rules of dating are completely lost on me. I'm so lonely I just want a deep connection too quickly and that doesn't happen that often so friends is probably the best way to go.
BlueDays
1
^ I definitely agree with this.
Some people out there actually look for partners with an obvious low self-esteem because they assume they can control them better. (This can apply to both sexes too)
Just keep your boundaries and if they start to exhibit controlling behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable you need to let them know that, or otherwise remind yourself there are others out there that don't seek to take avantage of people like us.