How to get a boyfriend
- Thread starter Rxqueen
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OceanMist
Well-known member
Are you saying you are meeting them in person for a month, and then they are asking for sex? Or are you just typing to them online for a month and then they are asking for sex?
MikeyC
Well-known member
There are men like this, but they are after something that you're not.
You don't know how to tell the creeps from the genuine ones until you talk to them and get to know them. It's the only way. Eventually you'll find someone.
Absolutely right.ありがとう;592312 said:
Waybuloo
Well-known member
It isn't always that simple. Sometimes you might meet a guy you like but don't necessarily instantly picture you and him together in a physical relationship. This is no indication of whether she is willing to have sex once everything gets going. Sometimes it's just hard to break the threshold. Anyone watched Sex and the City? Charlotte and Trey got married and Trey had trouble having sex with Charlotte because he saw her as a 'lady' even though he had a healthy sex drive. But he loved her very much. The best thing to do in this situation is for the guy to approach the girl in a physical way one step at a time - from kissing to longer kissing and then go from there, you get to test the waters and get her used to physical affection at the same time.
MikeyC
Well-known member
That interesting. Never watched the show but I think I've had a similar feeling about a few girls in my past.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
That's a good point actually. I've encountered girls who I found very physically attractive, but in an almost abstract way rather than a sexual way. Although I found them very beautiful, I really didn't view them in a sexual context. I'd always thought it was one of my own personal weird traits, so I'm relieved to find out it isn't just me. (If only I'd watched Sex & The City, eh?
)
Rxqueen
Well-known member
Meeting in person for a month.
coyote
Well-known member
it's pretty common for people - both men and women - to view sex as an integral part of a relationship
in fact, physical intimacy is quite often what differentiates a romantic relationship from a mere friendship
engaging in sexual activity is HOW many people get to that "something deeper"
in fact, physical intimacy is quite often what differentiates a romantic relationship from a mere friendship
engaging in sexual activity is HOW many people get to that "something deeper"
montejocarlo
Well-known member
I don't know , i don't have any idea how to get a girlfriend let alone a boyfriend :
lol. i think it's a good thing that you don't.
How to get a boyfriend in 5 easy steps:
Step 1. Make sure you really want a boyfriend, boys can sometimes be icky, mean and all around ill tempered.
Step 2. Alright, we've established you want an icky boy. I still am having trouble wrestling with the though but I'll concede defeat.
Step 3. Kidnapping is out of the question unfortunately, but strategically trapping someone is not necessarily against the law. Find yourself a large stick, attach some string to an object that boys like (i.e. video games, sweater vests, and/or food with ridiculous amounts of bacon adhered to the top. Baconator, bacon ranch chili fries, well you get the idea.) to the stick, and prop it up under a rather large box.
Step 4. Wait.
Step 5. Did you hear that?!? That was the box collapsing as your prospective beau being trapped under the aforementioned box (which statistically most men can clearly not figure their way out of) and the roaring sound of the many small people inside your head simultaneously giving each other tiny little high-fives for your success! Congratulations! You're awesome!
*Disclaimer* Zak does not endorse the capture and/or kidnapping of any individual unless he/she were to truly walk into a box propped up by a stick with an xbox game as bait... then that's just their fault.
Step 1. Make sure you really want a boyfriend, boys can sometimes be icky, mean and all around ill tempered.
Step 2. Alright, we've established you want an icky boy. I still am having trouble wrestling with the though but I'll concede defeat.
Step 3. Kidnapping is out of the question unfortunately, but strategically trapping someone is not necessarily against the law. Find yourself a large stick, attach some string to an object that boys like (i.e. video games, sweater vests, and/or food with ridiculous amounts of bacon adhered to the top. Baconator, bacon ranch chili fries, well you get the idea.) to the stick, and prop it up under a rather large box.
Step 4. Wait.
Step 5. Did you hear that?!? That was the box collapsing as your prospective beau being trapped under the aforementioned box (which statistically most men can clearly not figure their way out of) and the roaring sound of the many small people inside your head simultaneously giving each other tiny little high-fives for your success! Congratulations! You're awesome!
*Disclaimer* Zak does not endorse the capture and/or kidnapping of any individual unless he/she were to truly walk into a box propped up by a stick with an xbox game as bait... then that's just their fault.
OceanMist
Well-known member
It's pretty normal for either gender to expect sex after seeing someone for a month, male or female.
In fact, most women expect the man to at least have kissed her before or on the 3rd date. Waiting for after that is against the social norm and is even seen as insulting if the guy hasn't made his move by the 3rd date according to a lot of society.
Heck, you'll come across a lot of people, male or female, that believe if they haven't sex by the 3rd date then there is something wrong.
It's respectful that you are willing to wait so long, and I hate to break it to you, but most people just don't want to wait that long.
I had a similar complaint as you, when I got rejected because I didn't kiss a girl on a third date. It took some research, which I recommend you do as well, to see what many people's views are on this topic. You just need to learn what I did, that most of society tends to tilt in a certain direction with dating with things such as sex and kissing.
This research is easy and can be done on the internet. I think you just need to understand that many people nowadays believe sex is something that should happen way more quickly than you do.
It's fine if you want to use your waiting strategy, but if you do choose that route, I advise that you prepare to have to deal with a lot of men that you will have to break up with because most men don't agree with your mindset.
Most people see sex as a mandatory part of dating and they believe it should happen within the first month. I know that sucks to hear, but it's just the way most people operate.
Waybuloo
Well-known member
That is very unfortunate. The idea that my date expects, not just want, but expect me to have sex or kiss whatever within that time frame just puts me off. Things happen at different rates depending on who the other person is. Sometimes a person can inspire certain feelings instantly, sometimes it takes some getting used to. I could have sex on the first date if it's the right person, or it may take months.
As for kissing the girl on the 3rd date, next time, if you feel pressured, just peck her on the cheeks.
lol Zak you're AWESOME!! haha!!
hm, I think it depends on individuals - (some) people can understand if you 'wish to get to know them better' etc.
It also depends how often you see these men - 1x a week or more? And what do you do there, how you behave etc. alone or with others? Maybe it would be easier to hang out as a group first, and be more friend-like, if it's possible?
Even if some people may 'go fast' it doesn't necessarily mean a better experience (I've got a serial dater friend who usually jumps into things too soon to prove it!!)
haha!!hm, I think it depends on individuals - (some) people can understand if you 'wish to get to know them better' etc.
It also depends how often you see these men - 1x a week or more? And what do you do there, how you behave etc. alone or with others? Maybe it would be easier to hang out as a group first, and be more friend-like, if it's possible?
Even if some people may 'go fast' it doesn't necessarily mean a better experience (I've got a serial dater friend who usually jumps into things too soon to prove it!!)
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Well, I waited an entire year before having sex and my relationship lasted 8 years.
'Social norms' are not concrete rules. Some people have different morals.
I think if you're someone who wants to wait- you should wait.
It may even be worth it to be rejected by 10 guys and accepted by 1 because the 1 who accepts you is one who shares your morals.
That is also something important in any relationship-- finding someone who accepts who you are and what you believe in.
'Social norms' are not concrete rules. Some people have different morals.
I think if you're someone who wants to wait- you should wait.
It may even be worth it to be rejected by 10 guys and accepted by 1 because the 1 who accepts you is one who shares your morals.
That is also something important in any relationship-- finding someone who accepts who you are and what you believe in.