how do you get on with work colleagues
- Thread starter waine
- Start date
Section_31
Well-known member
thats a tough one. I dont associate with anyone from work outside of work. Ive been invited but always decline. I dont feel i would fit in. Aside from work all i have to talk about is star trek, videogames and work......and thats kinda it.
I feel id be a boring conversationlist.
I feel id be a boring conversationlist.
I get along OK with some, though with most it's only small talk (if that). A lot of the time, the topic of conversation isn't what I'm interested in.
Also, there are a lot of people that I don't really know in work. My interaction with them in strictly business.
There are perhaps two or three where I work whom I would consider to be friends.
Also, there are a lot of people that I don't really know in work. My interaction with them in strictly business.
There are perhaps two or three where I work whom I would consider to be friends.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
When I worked, I tended to get along with everyone.
My favourite job was when I worked at a window covering outlet and was the youngest employee in any branch of the company.
My co-workers were all 30+years my senior and they'd treat me to meals and coffee all the time.
Very sweet ladies~ I think they were probably trying to mother me but I had fun with them anyways.
Not that I ever really 'hung out' with co-workers outside of the workplace but I did get along with everyone.
If conversations were work related, I usually had answers and opinions I didn't mind sharing.
If they were gossip related, I stayed out of it generally.
If they were related to other things, I usually would only speak up if I really felt inclined to say something-- otherwise, I kept to my work.
Most of my jobs required me to be working with 1-5 people maximum though, so I was never really dealing with a wide range of people.
My favourite job was when I worked at a window covering outlet and was the youngest employee in any branch of the company.
My co-workers were all 30+years my senior and they'd treat me to meals and coffee all the time.
Very sweet ladies~ I think they were probably trying to mother me but I had fun with them anyways.
Not that I ever really 'hung out' with co-workers outside of the workplace but I did get along with everyone.
If conversations were work related, I usually had answers and opinions I didn't mind sharing.
If they were gossip related, I stayed out of it generally.
If they were related to other things, I usually would only speak up if I really felt inclined to say something-- otherwise, I kept to my work.
Most of my jobs required me to be working with 1-5 people maximum though, so I was never really dealing with a wide range of people.
theoutsider
Well-known member
Overall, I get along well with with everyone but I usually don't feel comfortable joining in on a chat that has already started amongst my colleagues. I have tried before and always feel like they think I'm rude by just butting in (I tried casually entering the conversation to no avail). Usually I'll just sort of slink away and go back to my desk. This is nobody's fault but my own as I pretty much keep everyone at a distance and am usually in my own world. I guess I can't expect to come out of that world and be accepted at once.
There have been a few times when the conversation started and I was in the middle at the beginning and that works out just fine.
There have been a few times when the conversation started and I was in the middle at the beginning and that works out just fine.
vickiekitties
Well-known member
It's usually pretty awkward, most of my coworkers are young guys. :/ They're really flirty sometimes and it makes me run away.
Some guy at work gave me his number last night, but there's already somebody I like. I wish I knew how to ask him to be just my friend.
Some guy at work gave me his number last night, but there's already somebody I like. I wish I knew how to ask him to be just my friend.
Kiwong
Well-known member
Our new manager has decided to have a three day off-site with staff. I don't know how I can face this, the thought of spending three days with these people makes me feel ill. The time I spend way from my office and the people in it, is important to my health and sanity. I don't want to share my time outside work, I do not want to eat with them, I don't want to sleep in the same building as them.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Do you have to go to this? Surely you can refuse.
I get on okay with them personally. One of the males probably more than the rest.
Kiwong
Well-known member
I told my boss in an email I was uncomfortable spending time outside works hours with people I don't know very well. She hasn't yet replied. I've been worried about this all of my holiday.
Decent. I don't have conversations with them and we absolutely do not intermingle outside of work. On breaks I'm either playing on the internet at my desk (when I'm not working through break time) or I'll go out to my vehicle and listen to complete silence and just zone out. I rarely speak to them aside from "They need these parts done ASAP, them there are next, and them over yonder are last. If you have any problems come get me". And then we don't speak the rest of the shift. Once I get the machines running for a while I play games on my computer or read a book at my desk or, very rarely, have someone to converse with via text messaging. If several of them are standing around talking I don't even attempt to join in at all. Ever. If I get asked a direct question I give a one word reply and stare at them until they walk away. If I were working with mature adults I'd try to be more personable but my co workers are all immature, backstabbing, undermining, cretins.
Oh im not alone after all. Work is really hard. Part of Our performance review is every upper level executive gets a say in your review and career potential even if youve never worked with them. The company provides tons of networking gatherings to socialize and meet V.P.s and other employees-- networking almost a requirement to get job opportunities .. Really hard for me...huge company, gatherings 75+ people i usually dont know. i may try just going to each for 15 min and leave if its really uncomfortable. And we have an internal company facebook. Awkward. How many "colleagues" do u have? Haha! I do well if i have a business reason to talk to someone, but im uncomfortable just walking up to people chatting and joining. I think my not doing so makes them think im unfriendly and dont want to be included. I try to join in but its awkward like im intruding. People who sit near me will all go to lunch and not invite me - that hurts - so i tried an experiment: first i did some snl jack handy mantras inside like "everybody likes me;everybody wants to be my friend" and then i "pretended" to be friendly and outgoing, stopping at some nice peoples desks to smile and chat - everyone was very friendly back and were commenting how whatevers going on with me keep it up. But it was pushing myself out there and i could only do it a few minutes - was emotionally exhausting and how do people like that get work done??? Thats a part of me but not the normal office me.
Emergency Escapes: Bring your cell phone. Helps u ignore people while seeming just busy. You could always have a family emergency and leave early if you just cant take it anymore. Migraines/headaches - i once had a migraine on a 4 hour office boat trip and slept through most of the afternoon. Needing something "from town" gets you away for a good hour to have a little time to yourself. Or if its a nature area you may be able to take off for a couple hours "exploring". If you tell them you meditate, that also steals you some alone time. The good thing about retreats is theyll usually have some organized activities and its not like you have to just hang out all weekend. It might help you handle a long weekend if you can get away from everybody frequently to take solitude breaks.
Wispa
New member
I've only been in my current job for 2 weeks but I'm doing OK with my new colleagues. The most difficult colleague I've worked with so far is a middle-aged woman. She's down-to-earth and we do have sports in common but I get the impression she knows I'm shy and is slightly uncomfortable with it. Despite this, I've somehow managed to form an agreement whereby I travel with her husband hundreds of miles across the country to watch my favourite football (soccer) team. Now, I welcome the opportunity to watch my team but spending in total around 8 hours with a stranger, who if I come across weird to, will relay this to a colleague of me is not as welcome!
Like Misanthrope71, I struggle to be professional and hide my dislike for others.
Like Misanthrope71, I struggle to be professional and hide my dislike for others.
miserablecow
Well-known member
I don't talk to any of them. I sit alone at lunch.
I'm not working at the moment, but I can't help but think, how do I get along with a work colleague who dislikes me? It's already hard enough to fake social skills in public, and it's even harder to fake it with someone who doesn't like me. I would look very fake if I start smiling at someone who doesn't like me, but I see that a lot in dramas and movies where the female lead has a very big heart. I have some friends who are very upbeat and positive, and they have virtually 0 enemies that I know of.
Richey
Well-known member
I get along with the nerdy types who don't really care about gossip or cliques.
I can also get along with some of the independent people too. But not always.
Depends on the job.
some places have horrible instances of politics and gossip. I usually don't care about that sort of stuff and would rather talk about general things, music, movies, travel, maybe ask them a question, but the whole jokey/group thing eludes me due to my lack of group social skills growing up.
I usually don't get on with overly confident people either who don't have time for people that don't meet their expectations of people.
It depends on the situation.
My problem is that I find some work environments intimidating and scary which means I can never be comfortable enough to be quick witted etc. So I just do the work and i'm mild mannered, but I can't be jokey, because I fear that I might accidentally say something wrong or use sarcasm the wrong way.
Funny thing is that at my last job, the two louder people liked me the most, because I put up with them and was nice where as some people ignored them. But we weren't gossipy. Just tried to be funny amongst ourselves.
I can also get along with some of the independent people too. But not always.
Depends on the job.
some places have horrible instances of politics and gossip. I usually don't care about that sort of stuff and would rather talk about general things, music, movies, travel, maybe ask them a question, but the whole jokey/group thing eludes me due to my lack of group social skills growing up.
I usually don't get on with overly confident people either who don't have time for people that don't meet their expectations of people.
It depends on the situation.
My problem is that I find some work environments intimidating and scary which means I can never be comfortable enough to be quick witted etc. So I just do the work and i'm mild mannered, but I can't be jokey, because I fear that I might accidentally say something wrong or use sarcasm the wrong way.
Funny thing is that at my last job, the two louder people liked me the most, because I put up with them and was nice where as some people ignored them. But we weren't gossipy. Just tried to be funny amongst ourselves.
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