How did you meet your Partner?

BlackKids

Well-known member
I'm intrested in how people with Social Anxiety/ Avpd etc met their partners. How long did the relationship last, Did SA effect your relationship? Anything else you wanna include too :)
 

sabbath

Banned
I answered my wife's personal ad in the local paper, we started chatting on the phone, we met up, fell in love, eloped, and have been happily married for 16+ years. Social anxiety disorder (SAD) has caused me to lose many good jobs and has made us go thru the hell of poverty. After unsuccessfully trying shrinks, meds, cbt, etc., I finally found ACT and we've been doing better ever since.
 

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
My friend was new in town so we were out having drinks at a local pub. Not too long after we ordered our drinks, three guys I know walk into the bar and sit next to us. They tell us that they had just gotten robbed outside of the train station so my friend and I decided to buy them a round of drinks. One of those guys is now my husband. He and his other friend were robbed of their golden chains. My husband's grandfather's baptism cross was ripped from his neck. :( Anyway, after the pub, my friend and I joined the guys at their place and we all got trashed. This is how I met my husband.

We've been together for seven years and married for almost six. My anxiety has affected our marriage and our life to an extent. I basically had to learn to trust him. I realized that it was all my fears and worries that were causing me to be mistrustful.
 
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thats nice guys. I would want to kno tho, if anybody here is with anyone else with SA for a long time, maybe even married.
 

iamthenra

Well-known member
Well... It was a long time ago. about 41 years ago, that I met my partner... Her name is Rosy Palm, and her twin... But I stuck with Rosy, because she was perfect in every way! I never had to wine or dine her, and she never refused me when I was in the mood... Hahahahah! Okay...kidding!!! Just kidding....
 
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userremoved

Guest
Well... It was a long time ago. about 41 years ago, that I met my partner... Her name is Rosy Palm, and her twin... But I stuck with Rosy, because she was perfect in every way! I never had to wine or dine her, and she never refused me when I was in the mood... Hahahahah! Okay...kidding!!! Just kidding....

Sounds a lot like how I met Palmela Handerson :eek:
 

Kinetik

Well-known member
thats nice guys. I would want to kno tho, if anybody here is with anyone else with SA for a long time, maybe even married.

I was married (am now divorcing), but there are lots of older, and therefore married people with SA too. It's just that as you age and are eventually forced to be independent, you sort of have to learn to deal with life whether you like it or not. It's common enough to be a shy teenager, lots of people are awkward and angsty when they're young, and it's easier to complain when you're in an enabling situation (like living at home). But as you get older I think that sense of "stop whining and just get on with it" kind of hits home at a certain point. So it's still entirely possible to be a half-functional but still struggling adult, with long-term relationships and marriages along the way.
 
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danstelter

Well-known member
I am going to get married. I have met partners in real life through friends and at parties and all that kind of good stuff, but I met my current fiance online at a dating site for people of our religion (Lutheran). I didn't think that is how it would happen, but that's how it did happen. After some struggles, we are finding ourselves in a pretty good place at this point, and we are looking forward to getting married and spending the rest of our lives together!
 

recluse

Well-known member
I've been attached to my partner since birth, and a very HANDY partner it is too! She never complains but just get's on with the job in HAND!:D

Know what i'm talking about?:D
 

Jake123

Banned
I think the only time I can tolerate humanity for more than a few seconds is when I have my random libido increases and have sex with random guys (I'm a guy)
I've never been in an actual relationship though, just sex
I meet them online
 

EgoZero

Well-known member
I've been attached to my partner since birth, and a very HANDY partner it is too! She never complains but just get's on with the job in HAND!:D

Know what i'm talking about?:D
DUDE. This is weird, I just wanted to write the very same thing xD But I read the last post and saw that you already wrote it. lol.
 

VioletTears

Well-known member
My husband and I went to highschool together. One of his friends told me that he liked me and kept saying he was going to ask me out and then getting chicken when it came to doing it. So after several months of this I told a friend I would buy her a Mountain Dew is she told him right in front of me that he needed to ask me out. So she did and it worked. 12 years later and we have been married for 6 years.

Communication is hard and so is trust. I would think that someone with Social Phobia would tend to have more trouble initiating the relationship but less trouble once it was established and someone with AvPD would have more trouble extending far into the relationship in terms of ever totally opening up and trusting.

I am diagnosed with GAD and Major Depressive Disorder. Probably also have AvPD and BPD. Also wondering id the depression thing is right or if I have Bipolar II.
 

Nicholas

Well-known member
I could get sad and think that I have never had a girlfriend and getting depressed thinking how much I'd like to have a girl to love. And think "how the hell am I going to meet anyone?"

But I could also forget about that and decide not to get depressed. And think that after all it doesn't matter how anyone met their partner, it really doesn't matter at all. Because the truth is that no one can tell when that'll happen, if it'll happen, who we will meet, how it'll end up. Some people met their soul mates in a night club, others met them on the train, others met them at the hospital, others met them in a car crash.

Everything can happen if you let it happen. And if nothing happens, let nothing happen. And if you don't like it when nothing happens, fill your time with something.

I tried to be optimistic in this post. Did I do a good job? LOL
 

stand_up

Well-known member
Everything can happen if you let it happen. And if nothing happens, let nothing happen. And if you don't like it when nothing happens, fill your time with something.

Great line. You're spot on with that, 100%. I think this is actually "positive" thinking more than "optimistic". Which is even better.
SA only affected me at the start. It was very hard to even get the guts to say "hi" as a stranger.

I met my partner on the bus. Her looks made me feel like "she must be already taken for sure" so that's why I didn't even want to try at the start. And she was haha. To get to where we are today I went through quite a few unbelievable steps including....

The "stranger I see everyday" stage
The "friend on the bus" stage
The "good friend" stage
The "I like you secretly, but you're happy with someone else" stage
The "I'll support you thruough your hard times, even though I think I should be your guy instead" stage
The "best friend" stage
The "confession of a best friend" stage
The "awkward and rejection" stage
The "best friend" stage (repeated for a loooong looong time)
The "finally together" stage

A lot of these things happened around our travel on the bus. It's been like 8 years since I first met her on the Greensborough 560 bus.
 
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I met my current boyfriend of 3 years at my first job at a local grocery store. He told his friend he liked me (I was 17, him 18) and I tried to talk to him and flirt with him but he acted really nervous (I can hide my nervousness better). We talked on the phone a billion times and that's where I could open up a lot, and him as well, and we clicked. Eventually we just started hanging out more, once I felt confident enough to allow him to take me out.
It's a little easier when the person you're with has the same problem as you. It makes SOME things harder, like trying to be a social couple, we end up being hermits together unless there is alcohol (terrible I know), but it's better than a relationship breaking up because of one the people have SA.
 
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