How are you feeling?

[Phoenixx]

What kind of supplies are needed for the job? I'm living vicariously through your posts.

(Meant to reply to this earlier and I forgot. Oops)

Anything that would make prepping for productions and cleaning afterwards easier and quicker would be nice. Cleaning the one kitchen we work in involves a lot of water. Any place that involves gallons upon gallons of water dumped on the floor and down floor drains usually have floor squeegees. Nope. Not a single one here. I have made my own squeegee taking a mop handle and folding a green scrubbie and pinning it on the head where the mop piece typically would go so it has a flat bottom with rounded edges. That way I can push all the little food particles and puddles of water into the floor drain. Any bigger pieces can be "swept" into their own separate pile to be thrown out so it won't clog anything. I can be innovative when need be, but even then these jobs take longer than if I had the right tools in the first place. I convinced my coworker to order one, but so far no word on whether we'll actually get it or not. And who knows, it might sit under financial's wing for weeks before they decide it's okay.

Also, today I had to get vinegar out of a 55-gal drum. There's no spout to pour from at the bottom or anything, just a cap at the top. We had a stupid little hand pump siphon, like the tiny ones that have maybe a foot of pipe on each end. I had to get 22 gallons of vinegar with that damn thing. Do you know how long that took??? Sweet baby jesus what a massive waste of time that was, nearly a whole hour of my life I'll never get back. Told my coworker the same thing, she agreed, didn't know who's genius idea it was to even have that thing to use and she's hated it since they got it, and said she ordered a much bigger siphon forever ago and she still hasn't received it yet.

I took over doing part of the production today, since my coworker kept being interrupted by others' needs and questions. We finished our production 45 mins sooner than yesterday. That is how you get stuff done.

 

[PugofCrydee]

 

[Graeme1988]

Knackered, stressed out and pretty disheartened by everything that's happened around me in the last 3 years.

I genuinely don't see the point in being optimistic about my situation anymore. It's no gittin' any better n' I don't really see it doing that any time soon, either. So, there's nae real point in being hopeful that: "Maybe one day, eh?". As if things will just suddenly go back to how they were one day, and I'll actually feel happy tae get the bed in the morning. Smiling and full of energy... Naw! Sorry, but it does'nae work like that.

Sad to say, but it's the truth for me, unfortunately. I wish it wasn't...

 

[theoutsider]

Antsy. I'm taking a use or lose vacation day but since I've been working from home due to the Coronavirus, I still feel like I'm at work. I can't keep from checking my work emails to make sure nothing critical shows up. Difficult to relax on a vacation day like I used to with this new setup.

 

[Phoenixx]

Pretty good for once this week. Had an easy day at work since it was only a half day for me and didn't have any productions to do, had a good portion of the morning spent at the dentist's office for a much needed cleaning (and xrays) that should've happened in March but was cancelled and rescheduled three times this year thanks to covid. Glad it didn't get cancelled again. I've honestly been looking forward to this appointment. It was a new office and I was pleasantly surprised how much I actually liked the experience. Staff was really friendly, the spaces were really clean, and I got to watch tv as I got poked and prodded with metal in my mouth without being asked irrelevant questions I can't answer. So yeah, overall great experience.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Crrrrrrrrrrrrrap.

 

[Graeme1988]

Crrrrrrrrrrrrrap.

That's how ah feel as well.

 

[Graeme1988]

Pissed off to put it mildly.

 

[Phoenixx]

Feeling pretty sad after today. I'm having a hard time with training at work. Been here a month now and I still feel like I don't know as much as I should.
I feel like I'm always left trying to figure everything out on my own. More than once today I was talked to on how I should've been doing something. "We should be doing [this] instead." or "When [this] happens, then you should do [this]." I'm getting pretty annoyed with it honestly. I know training has been hard because my coworker and boss can only dedicate so much time, but I need better training. We had a meeting the other day and I told them that all they have to do is take one day, let me go through one process of something entirely on my own with them standing nearby or next to me, watching what I do, and either a) guide me if it's the first time doing something or b) not say anything if it's something I've gone through once before and let me go through the motions until I ask, and then have them explain to me what to do differently. That's all I need. Just one day of hand holding. I don't understand why I can't get that. But maybe I need to speak up more? Maybe I'm not being clear enough?

I'm also feeling vulnerable because this is still all so new to me and I can't seem to fall in the process of things. Every day is different, and normally that doesn't rattle me, but it does when something is written on paper, and then the schedule gets changed despite what the paper says. That's what is rattling me. Everything always feels disjointed and my brain just can't get anything figured out. It's like, my mind is prepared to do X, but then I'm at work preparing for X, and then get told to then prepare for Y and forget about X, meanwhile my brain is still on X.

That being said, I'm overall afraid of screwing up. I'm afraid of screwing up because I'm still working really hard to build up my confidence and self-esteem here and it's been a surprisingly slow process. I still find myself healing from my last job and that length of unemployment depression I endured this year. It's like I'm trying to piece myself back together again. I keep trying to remind myself that when my coworker and boss correct me on something, they're not talking down to me. They don't want to treat me like that and they're not. They're just making sure I'm learning how to do all the parts of the job correctly, as confusing as it is. They're trying their hardest to guide me, and I'm trying my hardest to learn and do things right. I also find myself wanting to be praised for everything and I don't know why. I mean, yeah it'd be nice to hear a "Good job!" but why do I want to be told those things so badly?

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Feeling pretty sad after today. I'm having a hard time with training at work. Been here a month now and I still feel like I don't know as much as I should.
I feel like I'm always left trying to figure everything out on my own. More than once today I was talked to on how I should've been doing something. "We should be doing [this] instead." or "When [this] happens, then you should do [this]." I'm getting pretty annoyed with it honestly. I know training has been hard because my coworker and boss can only dedicate so much time, but I need better training. We had a meeting the other day and I told them that all they have to do is take one day, let me go through one process of something entirely on my own with them standing nearby or next to me, watching what I do, and either a) guide me if it's the first time doing something or b) not say anything if it's something I've gone through once before and let me go through the motions until I ask, and then have them explain to me what to do differently. That's all I need. Just one day of hand holding. I don't understand why I can't get that. But maybe I need to speak up more? Maybe I'm not being clear enough?

I'm also feeling vulnerable because this is still all so new to me and I can't seem to fall in the process of things. Every day is different, and normally that doesn't rattle me, but it does when something is written on paper, and then the schedule gets changed despite what the paper says. That's what is rattling me. Everything always feels disjointed and my brain just can't get anything figured out. It's like, my mind is prepared to do X, but then I'm at work preparing for X, and then get told to then prepare for Y and forget about X, meanwhile my brain is still on X.

That being said, I'm overall afraid of screwing up. I'm afraid of screwing up because I'm still working really hard to build up my confidence and self-esteem here and it's been a surprisingly slow process. I still find myself healing from my last job and that length of unemployment depression I endured this year. It's like I'm trying to piece myself back together again. I keep trying to remind myself that when my coworker and boss correct me on something, they're not talking down to me. They don't want to treat me like that and they're not. They're just making sure I'm learning how to do all the parts of the job correctly, as confusing as it is. They're trying their hardest to guide me, and I'm trying my hardest to learn and do things right. I also find myself wanting to be praised for everything and I don't know why. I mean, yeah it'd be nice to hear a "Good job!" but why do I want to be told those things so badly?

Good Job, Phoenixx!​

 

[Phoenixx]

Extremely anxious. Like, anxiety through the roof I actually feel sick to my stomach and I want to cry anxious. I have to have a meeting tomorrow for urgent questioning for an investigation going on at my workplace. No one said anything to me today about it which is why it has me so anxious. I asked my boss about it and she's just like, "Yeah." I asked her if it was about me because I only saw my name in the email. Not that I think I'm guilty of anything because I'm always a person to just keep their head down and work and not say much. Said it was but wasn't, as in I'm being used as a witness because the person in question is someone we all know. The end of the day at work was very solemnly quiet, which makes me even more anxious thinking something is wrong with me.

The workplace isn't very big for one. So my mind is jumping all over the place about me being involved. Is it still about me and my manager just said that because she can't say anything else? Did someone get offended by my being quiet and is falsely accusing me of something? Is someone falsely accusing me of something because they hate me? Am I going to have to quit my job if crap like this is frequent?

 

[vj288]

Extremely anxious. Like, anxiety through the roof I actually feel sick to my stomach and I want to cry anxious. I have to have a meeting tomorrow for urgent questioning for an investigation going on at my workplace. No one said anything to me today about it which is why it has me so anxious. I asked my boss about it and she's just like, "Yeah." I asked her if it was about me because I only saw my name in the email. Not that I think I'm guilty of anything because I'm always a person to just keep their head down and work and not say much. Said it was but wasn't, as in I'm being used as a witness because the person in question is someone we all know. The end of the day at work was very solemnly quiet, which makes me even more anxious thinking something is wrong with me.

The workplace isn't very big for one. So my mind is jumping all over the place about me being involved. Is it still about me and my manager just said that because she can't say anything else? Did someone get offended by my being quiet and is falsely accusing me of something? Is someone falsely accusing me of something because they hate me? Am I going to have to quit my job if crap like this is frequent?

From your post, it sounds more likely to be about someone else at your work. From experience, when one keeps their head down much of the going-ons around them are oblivious to them.

 

[Graeme1988]

I don't even know anymore... I just know I'm getting worse. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

The same thoughts have going around in my head for the 3 years. Yet, every time I say how I'm feeling, I'm either laughed at. Because there's nowt funnier than a pissed off, angry Scottish person, right?! What a laugh! Or I'll get told that I'm wrong, or that I shouldn't feel the way I do.

I can't even say, "No, I'm not doing that", without that refusal causing a massive row. That's how much freedom I've got in the house I share with my mum, despite me paying a bigger chunk of the bills to ensure we don't go homeless. Usually, the row ends with me being called a selfish f__kin' b@$%#@*! Words I've grown accustomed to. Because I'm the bad one, supposedly. Not the fuckin' adult wummin shouting her heid off like a child. Me — I'm the bad yin!

But that's how it goes in my family when ya can't get yer way, and yer a woman. Just guilt-trip the other person intae it, and make that person feel even more $h!%*" about themselves than they already are. Cuz they're just faking their depression and anxiety issues for attention, right?

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Kind of bummed.

Today's my birthday, and though I should be more mature than this, I kinda hate how inconsequential it all seems.

 

[Miserum]

Kind of bummed.

Today's my birthday, and though I should be more mature than this, I kinda hate how inconsequential it all seems.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Kind of bummed.

Today's my birthday, and though I should be more mature than this, I kinda hate how inconsequential it all seems.

 

[Miserum]

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Something happened to Bush when he got the nomination. Up until that point he was a very relaxed, easy conversationalist. But once he was the front-runner and eventually became president, it was like all of a sudden he needed a wheelchair ramp from his brain to his mouth.

 

[SoScared]

nearly two years clean

 

[FountainandFairfax]

nearly two years clean

Congratulations, man.

How bad is it that I almost said "cheers!"