How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Yay! Now my mistrust of my own family hasn't just been validated - it's feckin' justified!

Let down yet again, but hey ho, I'm more than used to it. That's how's it's been most of my life. But ah cannae get pissed off or upset about it, though, cuz then it's me who's in the wrong. Despite it being me who has to make sure their feck-up gets sorted - and they wonder why I am the way I am.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Yay! Now my mistrust of my own family hasn't just been validated - it's feckin' justified!

Let down yet again, but hey ho, I'm more than used to it. That's how's it's been most of my life. But ah cannae get pissed off or upset about it, though, cuz then it's me who's in the wrong. Despite it being me who has to make sure their feck-up gets sorted - and they wonder why I am the way I am.

What did they do?

 

[Graeme1988]

What did they do?

My oldest sister went and flung out concerts tickets for shows we had booked that got postponed, claiming we wouldn't need 'em. I get an email today saying if you'd previously booked for the shows, the original tickets would still be valid. So now we're either going to have to rebook or see if we can get new tickets sent out. And I'd told her tickets might still be valid at the time of the shows being postponed.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah don't know, you tell me... how would you feel if every time ya tried to help certain members o' yer ain family, they go in the huff and flee off the handle at ye? As per usual, it's me who's the a-hole - even though ah never did anything to provoke the hostile reaction.

 

[Srijita52]

Exhausted I guess. It's tiring to keep pushing my limits. I just wish I could stop and take a breather. Just a little more I guess. Till then I have to find tiny windows here and there.

I think I should actually take a moment to also stop and think about how difficult it has been to live with SA all these years and moving ahead with it. I know it'll always be challenging but I'm glad I have made it so far.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I'm feeling awful wondering how undeserving, and unworthy I am to be a husband, and a father considering how uncaring I've been on both fronts this week. Working from home was exciting at the start, but at times, I miss my office and the routine of going to work. That mood has seaped into my mind this week, and of course, it hasn't improved.

 

[Graeme1988]

Depressed and pissed.

Though, this time it's not because I've been wronged. It's because - a few hours after my older sister berated our mother over the phone for merely asking if it'd be okay if the oldest sibling takes something up to her house to save her having drive all the way down to ours to collect it - my mother told me that I'm actually the only one of her kids who doesn't get argumentative or flee off the handle at her when I'm asked to do something by her. And I'm apparently the only one who will say sorry to her after we argue - like, hours after we've had a massive row.

My mum also apologised to me for yesterday, when she yelled at me for trying to help her.

 

[Phoenixx]

So damn relieved it's Friday. Another long week, I'm so dead tired.

 

[Graeme1988]

Like I don't matter... but what else is new. I'm used to be told how I feel is wrong and that ah haven't any reason to be depressed.

 

[Graeme1988]

How am I feeling? Ultimately as if I'm just banging my head against a wall, really. Every time I say how I feel, I'm invalidated; like everything I just said meant nuthin'. Every time I try to help, I get this vicious, hostile reaction. Every time I try to the peacemaker trying to resolve a family argument, I'm told to fuck off and call a bully. Ha! The irony...

And they still ask me why I've turned out how I did; why I rarely ask them to help me. Like they can't figure that out for themselves.

 

[Srijita52]

I'm really anxious right now, probably at an 8. Have a public speaking thing in an hour. Just trying to be with the anxiety and ride it out.

 

[Srijita52]

Relieved. It's over and it went well. The most important thing is I could tolerate the anxiety and perform decently despite being anxious.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Relieved. It's over and it went well. The most important thing is I could tolerate the anxiety and perform decently despite being anxious.

 

[Srijita52]

Exhausted. Doing things that I'm scared of all day, like calling people, dealing with difficult people, is exhausting. I think I need a break because it's just becoming too overwhelming. So I think I'll just take a break and step back for a week. But first I have to get through this week.

 

[Phoenixx]

Exhausted and in pain. The repetitive actions of my job are flaring up my carpal tunnel so bad. I need to find my wrist braces and start wearing them again at night. Haven't had to do that in a few years.

Meanwhile my manager had a meeting with me and my other coworker yesterday basically telling us we can't work any overtime, so whatever doesn't get done has to be pushed to the next day. On one hand, I'm relieved because then it means I have a set schedule and there's no guessing what time I'm actually going to leave work. But on the other hand it pisses me off because it's basically just the two of us starting and finishing jobs. The help we have in between is only part-time, so they leave right at the end when the job is finished or nearly finished, leaving us two to clean up. It's a lot of work for two people, even more work when the appropriate tools that WOULD make the job easier and quicker aren't even available. But even when these supplies are requested, they have to go through 3 freaking hoops just to get approved and thus they sit in the hands of the financial dept so you sometimes won't see a single thing for 3 months if at all. And they won't hire anyone else that's full-time to also relieve some stress off our backs. So hey, if they want half-ass work, they're gonna get half-ass work.

 

[Graeme1988]

Fed up with being constantly discouraged by my mother. Everything's always negative, no matter what I do. Like today, ah got 42 inch cardboard box delivered for a 42 inch table I'm going to be selling. It's folded up, and wrapped, so ye need to take it oot the packaging and assemble it. And the first thing my mother says to me is:

"Oh, here, that'll no be big enough! No, that'll no dae. You'll need to send it back".

And my family still can't understand why I turned out how I did; but apparently I'm at fault for that. It's great when ye cun deflect blame onto someone else, isn't it? Save taking personal responsibility for yer words n' actions.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Exhausted and in pain. The repetitive actions of my job are flaring up my carpal tunnel so bad. I need to find my wrist braces and start wearing them again at night. Haven't had to do that in a few years.

Meanwhile my manager had a meeting with me and my other coworker yesterday basically telling us we can't work any overtime, so whatever doesn't get done has to be pushed to the next day. On one hand, I'm relieved because then it means I have a set schedule and there's no guessing what time I'm actually going to leave work. But on the other hand it pisses me off because it's basically just the two of us starting and finishing jobs. The help we have in between is only part-time, so they leave right at the end when the job is finished or nearly finished, leaving us two to clean up. It's a lot of work for two people, even more work when the appropriate tools that WOULD make the job easier and quicker aren't even available. But even when these supplies are requested, they have to go through 3 freaking hoops just to get approved and thus they sit in the hands of the financial dept so you sometimes won't see a single thing for 3 months if at all. And they won't hire anyone else that's full-time to also relieve some stress off our backs. So hey, if they want half-ass work, they're gonna get half-ass work.

What kind of supplies are needed for the job? I'm living vicariously through your posts.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Like a bunch of atoms that have come together at the wrong time and in the wrong place... just waiting for those atoms to disband.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Tired. Things have been pretty crappy lately.

I think I've found a therapist, though. She's about 35 miles away, she's young and attractive which are both things that make me uneasy, but she has a dog that you can interact with during sessions, so I'm all-in. What have I got to lose? I'm gonna wait until Friday to make an appointment because I'm scared but that's as long as I'll wait.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Tired. Things have been pretty crappy lately.

I think I've found a therapist, though. She's about 35 miles away, she's young and attractive which are both things that make me uneasy, but she has a dog that you can interact with during sessions, so I'm all-in. What have I got to lose? I'm gonna wait until Friday to make an appointment because I'm scared but that's as long as I'll wait.

Good stuff mate. We have to at least try to help ourselves.. I'm looking for help too. Good luck, I hope she can provide you with what you're after