How are you feeling?

Been having a difficult few days. Just feeling more depressed than usual. :(

I’m also still wondering if I should join my family for Christmas dinner this year. Don’t really know, to be honest.
That “you do eff all around here” remark made to my face by my older sister made me fell like I’d be better off not sitting at the table this year. Or should I be guilt-tripped and emotionally blackmailed into it, like I always am? :unsure:
 
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Phoenixx

Well-known member
A part of me is in a good mood today, but I keep having this negativity nagging at me. I had a job application and shadow yesterday and there's a good chance I'll get the job. (Yay! So what's the problem??) I'm ready to go back to work, but I'm scared because it's a whole different environment and field I've never worked in before. It's a small workplace, smaller than my last job, so you'd think I'd feel less anxious, but I actually feel more anxious because I stand out more. Not that I didn't stand out at my last job, but... I guess it's just 'cause it's different and new and I know I'm going to make a lot of mistakes at first and I just hope no one judges me because of it. I feel like, because I'm fresh out of college working a field I actually majored in, I should know everything. And I'd hate for them to see that I didn't learn as much as I should've in school.

I also have to interact with dozens of people in a day as well with this job, everyone of all ages. It's a huge challenge for my social anxiety, but one I can mostly manage within time, I think. Except I'm dreading interacting with kids. I'm not good with kids. I mean, I'm good with kids with my husband's family, but kids I don't know I don't like and yesterday was a reminder of that. A mom came in with her 3 year old daughter and her baby. The baby girl had snot running out of both nostrils into her mouth, meanwhile she's sucking on her fingers. *barf* The mother never even wiped her nose or anything. At one point she put the baby on the floor (barely crawling age) and let her play with some toys. Her toy of choice was to suck on a matchbox car (Seriously?) while her nose was still running into her mouth. While mom's having her appointment and consultation, her 3 year old daughter was running from the room to the entrance of the office, grabbing toys and books and running back. She kept interrupting with questions (she was a curious one; I like curiosity but there's a time and place for it and this place wasn't one of them honestly), and mom would stop what she was saying to answer her questions, and go back to the conversation. It was so distracting and quite frankly driving me insane. The little girl kept asking to be read to, so I knelt down and told her to sit next to me and we'll look at the book together. Thankfully she seemed open to it, but she kept telling me to read to her and I declined, telling her that "We don't want to interrupt your mom's meeting. We should read quietly." I had to repeat that three times before she got the point and read out loud to me quietly. When we were done, she says a smartass remark of, "You should've read to me!" and walks off. Sheesh. :rolleyes:

Neither of the women I was working with seemed to have a problem with this, including the mother, which makes me feel like maybe I'm a horrible person who hates children and has no patience for them.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I also have to interact with dozens of people in a day as well with this job, everyone of all ages. It's a huge challenge for my social anxiety, but one I can mostly manage within time, I think.
This is great for social anxiety in my opinion. I've been in the same situation, but ultimately I am a more socially adept person from having suffered through it. If I were you I'd take cues from your coworkers. Pay attention to how they interact with each other and others in your workplace. Then emulate them (unless they are complete assholes), giving your emulation a little touch of your own personality. It will probably suck for a while, but you'll be alright and eventually get the hang out it. :)
 
Mentally and physically tired. Had an anxiety episode yesterday and after 12pm today, I've barely done any work. Not helped my isolation at work that others don't tend to do much to alleviate.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Not good. My head has been killing me all day (tension headache) and my neck feels tight but doesn't hurt to move. I feel jittery and had nausea earlier. Web MD said it's possible I have meningitis, and I did get an infected bug bite last week that I already took antibiotics for and it's healing, BUT there's always that 2% chance right??? :unsure: My mind is telling me I'll probably have to go to the hospital soon if I don't feel better or feel worse tomorrow. Because meningitis. :confused:

And that ^^^^ is a sure sign that I'm completely having an anxiety attack and haven't let myself get to panic stage as my body always does this. Builds up until I break. :cry:

I think I'm nervous about tomorrow as I'm starting my new job. My thoughts haven't stopped all day -- wondering what to wear, how I'm going to talk to people, how I'm gonna progress, how am I going to be able to do workshops in the future, how I'm going to fare with future traveling, what are my coworkers going to think of me, etc. etc. :(
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Not good. My head has been killing me all day (tension headache) and my neck feels tight but doesn't hurt to move. I feel jittery and had nausea earlier. Web MD said it's possible I have meningitis, and I did get an infected bug bite last week that I already took antibiotics for and it's healing, BUT there's always that 2% chance right??? :unsure: My mind is telling me I'll probably have to go to the hospital soon if I don't feel better or feel worse tomorrow. Because meningitis. :confused:

And that ^^^^ is a sure sign that I'm completely having an anxiety attack and haven't let myself get to panic stage as my body always does this. Builds up until I break. :cry:

I think I'm nervous about tomorrow as I'm starting my new job. My thoughts haven't stopped all day -- wondering what to wear, how I'm going to talk to people, how I'm gonna progress, how am I going to be able to do workshops in the future, how I'm going to fare with future traveling, what are my coworkers going to think of me, etc. etc. :(
What's worse? Meningitis... or the first day at a new job? :p

I am confident that you'll do fine, Phoenixx.

But, in the off-chance that you aren't fine, at least you'll learn from the experience!
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm really tired today. This week has been a long week. I started my new (part-time) job, which I'm liking. I'm surprised I'm finding myself not loving it though. But then again, I just started so I'm trying to get used to the transition. I spent the first day doing nothing but paperwork - reading the handbook and policies, signing agreements, tax documents for pay, etc. etc. Yesterday I spent 75% of the day just observing as part of the training and the other 25% doing client files and being taught how to read documents. I know I signed up as an assistant, but I'm itching to just work with my hands already. I don't want to just watch and stand there awkwardly in the room, zoning out and feeling painfully bored. I want to just do things already. I'm hoping today will bring that opportunity. Admittedly I can't wait til the day is over. I feel like I need the following 3 days off just to wrap my head around everything and feel settled.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I'm really tired today. This week has been a long week. I started my new (part-time) job, which I'm liking. I'm surprised I'm finding myself not loving it though. But then again, I just started so I'm trying to get used to the transition. I spent the first day doing nothing but paperwork - reading the handbook and policies, signing agreements, tax documents for pay, etc. etc. Yesterday I spent 75% of the day just observing as part of the training and the other 25% doing client files and being taught how to read documents. I know I signed up as an assistant, but I'm itching to just work with my hands already. I don't want to just watch and stand there awkwardly in the room, zoning out and feeling painfully bored. I want to just do things already. I'm hoping today will bring that opportunity. Admittedly I can't wait til the day is over. I feel like I need the following 3 days off just to wrap my head around everything and feel settled.
Glad to hear that it seems you're doing alright at work. Bored is better than anxious, I guess. :)
 
Absolutely pumped to see this band again in May next year! One of the best live concerts you'll ever see, this time complete with a replica spitfire above the stage, flamethrowers and.. the Trooper Eddie on stage!!

These guys are legends and in their 5th decade!!

 
Absolutely pumped to see this band again in May next year! One of the best live concerts you'll ever see, this time complete with a replica spitfire above the stage, flamethrowers and.. the Trooper Eddie on stage!!

These guys are legends and in their 5th decade!!
Awww... you luck [email protected]$…@*! My oldest sister wus’nae even swayed by the possibility that Run to the Hills might be the last song of the encore to try for tickets. No, as soon as I said the Legacy of the Beast UK tour’s only show in Scotland was in Aberdeen she goes: “Aberdeen?! F…k that! We’re no trailing that far, aw the way up there, for yin concert” :LOL:

Looks like a helluva show. And yer not wrong as far as one of the best concerts you’ll ever see. I mean, I’ve been lucky enough to have seen Iron Maiden 3 times, and the first time I saw them back in 2003 is still the best gig I’ve seen. Mind you that was my actual first ever concert. So... well worth having my hearing impaired for 3 days.
 
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