How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
When I said you don't have to let it become an argument, what I meant was that you could literally just tell your family that you're moving out. If you've made the decision, then there's nothing to argue about. You don't even have to entertain their attempts to argue with you. You can tell them and then leave the premises.

That’d be nice. But I don’t believe my family are collectively capable of being that tolerant. When I applied for, and got, my housing application form my mother and older sister lost it when I told them. Even more so when I sarcastically said: “And yer wonder why am leaving ye?” After their over the top, negative reactions.

I have a feeling that your mother will survive your sister. Why can't your sister move out (unless she's still a minor) as well? And if she is a minor, I can only imagine that the nagging can only last a few years more at maximum, right? And it's not like you can't lend your mother support over the phone, via text, email etc. You can still be there for her, at a distance.

Oh, my older sister is nearly in her 40s because she still acts as though she’s 15. Y’know, the stereotypically spoiled child. And the only reason she comes to visit nowadays is if she need someone to look after her kids. Then my mother and I get left with them from midday until 5 o’clock in the evening.

As for your disability benefits, can you earn enough to make a living without them?

Unfortunately not.

If you can, man I would move out in a hot second. From my point of view, I don't see much holding you back besides benefits and your mother's feelings.

Toxic people and environments will take their toll on you, as they do on us all. Best to get out ASAP imo.

I know, man. Don’t know how I’ve managed to tolerate it for this long. And, believe me, I’ve been wanting to move out since January 2016. And it was my main reason for getting some pretty extensive orthopaedic surgery done on my legs to try and correct some issues caused by my disability. It went well. However, the issue of me moving had my mother resorting to her usual manipulative way. Crying and making it all about her, rather than what I want.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
That’d be nice. But I don’t believe my family are collectively capable of being that tolerant. When I applied for, and got, my housing application form my mother and older sister lost it when I told them. Even more so when I sarcastically said: “And yer wonder why am leaving ye?” After their over the top, negative reactions.



Oh, my older sister is nearly in her 40s because she still acts as though she’s 15. Y’know, the stereotypically spoiled child. And the only reason she comes to visit nowadays is if she need someone to look after her kids. Then my mother and I get left with them from midday until 5 o’clock in the evening.



Unfortunately not.



I know, man. Don’t know how I’ve managed to tolerate it for this long. And, believe me, I’ve been wanting to move out since January 2016. And it was my main reason for getting some pretty extensive orthopaedic surgery done on my legs to try and correct some issues caused by my disability. It went well. However, the issue of me moving had my mother resorting to her usual manipulative way. Crying and making it all about her, rather than what I want.
Shitty situation you're in here. Have you and your family considered family therapy? I wonder if that might help?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Shitty situation you're in here.

Aye. Pretty depressing, actually. :cry:

Have you and your family considered family therapy? I wonder if that might help?

It would. But, as my oldest sister pointed out. the four of us in a room with a therapist would only end with one of us in tears, the one shouting n’ swearing, one sighing and shaking her head. And me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs, seemingly unfazed. Then going to the therapist: “Ah know... why are they like that? I’ve been asking that for years”
 

Miserum

Well-known member
It would. But, as my oldest sister pointed out. the four of us in a room with a therapist would only end with one of us in tears, the one shouting n’ swearing, one sighing and shaking her head. And me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs, seemingly unfazed. Then going to the therapist: “Ah know... why are they like that? I’ve been asking that for years”

Haha, I mean... probably. But all that bullshit will eventually lead to growth. Do it! I am so happy I decided to stick with my psychologist, even if half of the time I'm just venting.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Haha, I mean... probably. But all that bullshit will eventually lead to growth. Do it! I am so happy I decided to stick with my psychologist, even if half of the time I'm just venting.

I would, if I could convince them to go family therapy. But that’ll probably end up as massive row. Much like the idea of us all taking a family holiday together. Since the middle child likes to think and believes she doesn’t have issues, it’s everyone else. Her shouting n’ swearing and going on n’ on during arguments — to the point where we just go: “F…k it! Ah give up!” — not withstanding.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I would, if I could convince them to go family therapy. But that’ll probably end up as massive row. Much like the idea of us all taking a family holiday together. Since the middle child likes to think and believes she doesn’t have issues, it’s everyone else. Her shouting n’ swearing and going on n’ on during arguments — to the point where we just go: “F…k it! Ah give up!” — not withstanding.
I hope you and your family can find peace one day, man.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I'm feeling lonely today. I'm dying to get back out and find a job again. I can't stand being in a house all day, at the same time when I do go out all I want to do is immediately go back home because I get that heavy feeling sinking in my chest and I feel like I can't breathe.
Just my opinion:

The thing is, staying inside being asocial just makes going outside worse the more you do it. Speaking from experience.

Having a job fucking sucks too, and has its own set of social problems, but I don't think I'd ever want to go back to being unemployed and living at my parents' place.

That said, I don't think you should feel too bad about being asocial at the moment. It's to be expected in your situation. I feel like a person's concept of self-worth is often tied up with the things they do in life; in this case I'm talking about a job and career.

If a job and career is something you deeply care about, and you also care about what others think about you lacking these things--and you are lacking these things--you're going to feel pretty shitty all around, no matter if you're cooped up at home or out and about. Don't be too hard on yourself... and keep on working on yourself despite the shitty feelings.

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SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Annoyed and irritable that my day has been semi-affected by being too ambitious with things I needed to do. I should have kept it a simple day but tried doing too much and getting more anxious as the day went on.

And to top it off, I must have made a fool out of myself at the petrol station holding the pump in one hand and trying to unscrew the button to my petrol area and having a few attempts at it. Sure there was one gentleman pointing in my direction and laughing with the till attendant as I drove away
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
And to top it off, I must have made a fool out of myself at the petrol station holding the pump in one hand and trying to unscrew the button to my petrol area and having a few attempts at it. Sure there was one gentleman pointing in my direction and laughing with the till attendant as I drove away
I remember a few years ago I stopped at the gas station on my way home from work. It was only 1pm, but I had been up since 3am and had to go into work early that day and I hadn't gotten a good night sleep prior, so of course I was exhausted. I unscrewed my gas cap and stood at the pump pressing the button of the grade I wanted and could not get it to work. A random guy came over to see what my issue was because I'm sure I looked frustrated. He grabs the nozzle and hands it to me, presses the button, laughs, and walks away. I was so tired I didn't realize that I didn't even grab the nozzle and put it in my car. I quit going to that station after that. I also still think about it whenever I get gas because my brain likes to torture me. :confused:
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I have a motivation switch. Now my anxiety is less, it is switched on more often. I think outside the box and do things beyond what is expected of me at work. I focus on the bigger conservation picture, I have motivation to explore the bush, to learn, to leave a legacy of my knowledge of native bush plants.
 

F0AM

Well-known member
I hate when ppl stop talking to you all of a sudden for no apparent reason, one day you're great, they love you and like to hang out with you and the next they just stop talking....literally. Man i'm no seer, could you please tell me why did you decided to toss me out of your life just like that?? Maybe they don't wan't to say anything in order to not hurt your feelings or whatever but you're gonna hurt me anyway by just dessapearing so could you talk to me and give me some explanation? rather be hurt than hurt and confused wondering what did i do wrong :(

Generally speaking it's always annoying but it hurts when someone you considered friend does that. One friend did that to me a year ago and he came back apologizing (his explanation was shit lol but ok). And now another friend does that too...But at least with that other friend we argued and were mad at each other, so i can (to an extent) understant the outcome. But with this one? last time we talk we were good having a nice time like always.

A friend says maybe he didn't talk to me for whatever reason and now he's ashamed to say anything...but don't know. I need to see reprocity, i'm usually the one making steps and i just can't keep doing this. If i don't se reciprocity then i'm done because i feel like i'm forcing a friendship and that's not how it works nor how i'd like it to be.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I hate when ppl stop talking to you all of a sudden for no apparent reason, one day you're great, they love you and like to hang out with you and the next they just stop talking....literally. Man i'm no seer, could you please tell me why did you decided to toss me out of your life just like that?? Maybe they don't wan't to say anything in order to not hurt your feelings or whatever but you're gonna hurt me anyway by just dessapearing so could you talk to me and give me some explanation? rather be hurt than hurt and confused wondering what did i do wrong :(

Generally speaking it's always annoying but it hurts when someone you considered friend does that. One friend did that to me a year ago and he came back apologizing (his explanation was shit lol but ok). And now another friend does that too...But at least with that other friend we argued and were mad at each other, so i can (to an extent) understant the outcome. But with this one? last time we talk we were good having a nice time like always.

A friend says maybe he didn't talk to me for whatever reason and now he's ashamed to say anything...but don't know. I need to see reprocity, i'm usually the one making steps and i just can't keep doing this. If i don't se reciprocity then i'm done because i feel like i'm forcing a friendship and that's not how it works nor how i'd like it to be.
Yea, people are just weird.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
I hate when ppl stop talking to you all of a sudden for no apparent reason, one day you're great, they love you and like to hang out with you and the next they just stop talking....literally. Man i'm no seer, could you please tell me why did you decided to toss me out of your life just like that?? Maybe they don't wan't to say anything in order to not hurt your feelings or whatever but you're gonna hurt me anyway by just dessapearing so could you talk to me and give me some explanation? rather be hurt than hurt and confused wondering what did i do wrong :(

Generally speaking it's always annoying but it hurts when someone you considered friend does that. One friend did that to me a year ago and he came back apologizing (his explanation was shit lol but ok). And now another friend does that too...But at least with that other friend we argued and were mad at each other, so i can (to an extent) understant the outcome. But with this one? last time we talk we were good having a nice time like always.

A friend says maybe he didn't talk to me for whatever reason and now he's ashamed to say anything...but don't know. I need to see reprocity, i'm usually the one making steps and i just can't keep doing this. If i don't se reciprocity then i'm done because i feel like i'm forcing a friendship and that's not how it works nor how i'd like it to be.

Its horrible when someone does that, people are just absolute assholes sometimes
 
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