How are you feeling?

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Not well. Weak.

Then you don't want to click on this:

YouTube - NYAN Cat - Extended Edition/Version

Sorry you're weak.

(And sorry I am compelled to post this video again... the kitty is making me...)

 

[BlueDays]

Suicidal. Had something of a nervous breakdown earlier today. I'm losing the energy to fight my problems.

Edit: Wow, my avatar SO does not go with this post. hah

aww Beatrice.:: Its sad to hear that things are not going so well for you atm. Hang in there! I hope things start to pick up for you soon

 

[Danfalc]

Feeling okay, a little hungover. Went out clubbing last night for the first time in years, got dragged to a load of clubs by some chicks, ending up dancing like an idiot But had fun.

Annoyed that my therapist has kicked me out of c.b.t, I kind of feel vindicated for asking specifically to not have him again when offered c.b.t, and getting him despite my best wishes. I wasn't able to do the homework he set me for about 6 weeks, due to him forgetting to mail me the forms. Then I got the blame for not ringing him up to remind him to do something he had already promised to do repeatedly.

And then my latests session I rang up before I was going to go and got told I had been discharged for not attending, he told me I had missed it the previous week. My c.b.t has always been once a fortnight, if it was suddenly changed to weekly I got no letter and was not told.

Kinda sad that a therapist would act like this I tried explaining this to him and got called a liar, so he got called a tosser =] I just feel sorry for anyone else who has him.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Suicidal. Had something of a nervous breakdown earlier today. I'm losing the energy to fight my problems.

Edit: Wow, my avatar SO does not go with this post. hah

Well your avatar certainly does go with your forum persona, which is that of a happy and fun girl. I hope the way you are feeling right now IRL soon passes, and that you're feeling a lot more "Beatrice" very soon.

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel like an outcast in my family, though I've felt like that for years. Also feel really hurt by snide, cynical, judgemental put-down remark my mother said to me. ::

I've never understood - and still don't - why almost everything my mum has every said to me over the last 8 or so years has usually been extremely negative, then she'd say she didn't mean it. Whoa! No wonder I'm f**ked up in the head and have self esteem issues.

So, I'm back to my usual self-loathing, bitter, angry, insecure self. Crying alot. It's rather depressing, especially after that little victory I had over my SA last week got me thinking things were as bad as I thought they were. Makes it seem insignificant now.

Well, I guess I'll just have to keep struggling on. Though, I'm finding it really hard to be positive or optimistic at the moment.

 

[Newtype]

Suicidal. Had something of a nervous breakdown earlier today. I'm losing the energy to fight my problems.

Edit: Wow, my avatar SO does not go with this post. hah

Don't kill yourself! I often feel like that. When it happens, I just calm down, think about the changes I can make so that it doesn't happen again, then I wake up early the next day and do what I gotta do. You'll bounce back before even realizing it.

 

[Falkor]

like i'm going to explode from anxiety

 

[Beatrice]

I feel so terrible. And strange. Since yesterday I've felt light-headed and sick, but in such a strange way that it's hard to describe. I keep getting these waves of dizziness and a cranial pressure-type feeling. I looked it up online and it said it could be cause by allergies or stress.

I also feel really emotionally unstable today, and it seems to exacerbate the dizziness, so I'm thinking it may be stress-related.

 

[Beatrice]

Don't kill yourself! I often feel like that. When it happens, I just calm down, think about the changes I can make so that it doesn't happen again, then I wake up early the next day and do what I gotta do. You'll bounce back before even realizing it.

Thanks, Newtype. I try, I REALLY do. I try so damn hard But I feel like what was sort of working for me before isn't working any more, and I don't know what to do. It always comes back to my BDD-related issue, and I can NOT get the obsessive and depressing thoughts out of my head. I feel so worthless! :'( I don't know what to do. I wish someone could help me. I just feel like a waste of life and an utterly miserable person and can't see any way out. I always used to be afraid when I got suicidal thoughts before, but now they're kind of comforting. What's the point of living if you're not really living, just surviving? Constantly feeling like you're barely hanging on? It makes me sick.

Wow, didn't mean to write so much oops

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Hungry and mildly cranky.

 

[coyote]

Hungry and mildly cranky.

(stole that from dottie)

 

[bsebring]

YouTube - Primitive Radio Gods-Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth
Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

Just been self reflecting on my life today, but in a good way. I'm starting to realize that I'm really thankful for the life I have. I don't want to waste it. Summers coming soon and I've been making a mental list of all the things to keep me busy. One of them is to invite a bunch of friends/acquaintances to venture off with me to Cleveland and spend the day on the bike trails with a possible bonfire afterwards. I've never really been that kind of person to set up something like this but I think it'll be fun. Or maybe having cookouts or renting jet skis for the day. Idk, we'll see how it goes. I think it's safe to say I in a good place in my life right now. Today is a good day

 

[Beatrice]

I think it's safe to say I in a good place in my life right now. Today is a good day

Aww, that is so good to hear. I have days when I feel just like that I wish I could hold onto them longer. They're amazing. Enjoy!

 

[Newtype]

Thanks, Newtype. I try, I REALLY do. I try so damn hard But I feel like what was sort of working for me before isn't working any more, and I don't know what to do. It always comes back to my BDD-related issue, and I can NOT get the obsessive and depressing thoughts out of my head. I feel so worthless! :'( I don't know what to do. I wish someone could help me. I just feel like a waste of life and an utterly miserable person and can't see any way out. I always used to be afraid when I got suicidal thoughts before, but now they're kind of comforting. What's the point of living if you're not really living, just surviving? Constantly feeling like you're barely hanging on? It makes me sick.

Wow, didn't mean to write so much oops

Beatrice, you haven't been here for a long time and you've already managed to charm everyone with your radiant personality. Everyone likes you. You're not a waste of life. I know the survival feeling. You just need to give yourself some goals to achieve and work to achieve them. You'll be proud of yourself and gain some confidence. Eventually, your barrier will disappear and people offline will be able to get in touch with your sweet personality.

 

[Beatrice]

Beatrice, you haven't been here for a long time and you've already managed to charm everyone with your radiant personality. Everyone likes you. You're not a waste of life. I know the survival feeling. You just need to give yourself some goals to achieve and work to achieve them. You'll be proud of yourself and gain some confidence. Eventually, your barrier will disappear and people offline will be able to get in touch with your sweet personality.

Aww, that was so sweet. I didn't know and/or think that everyone here liked me, haha. But hey, whatever friendships I can make, I'll take. I feel very connected to everyone here. Thank you for your kind words.

 

[EscapeArtist]

^ Aws, I so agree with Newtype. And BDD? That's hard to believe! You have such a beautiful and welcoming smile (going from avatar)



As for how feeling. I feel unfamiliar, uninspired and untouchable.... Wish I could stop hating myself. Enough to have a friend at least. Miss my old best friends.

 

[Beatrice]

^ Aws, I so agree with Newtype. And BDD? That's hard to believe! You have such a beautiful and welcoming smile (going from avatar) QUOTE]

Aw, thank you. For the most part I DO like myself, but certain people made me feel terrible about a certain part of me and I can't seem to get over it/feel better about it.

I know what you mean about hating yourself. I hope you feel better soon.

Edit: okay somehow I messed the quote thing up but anyway the above quote is EscapeArtist's, haha. oops

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Beatrice, you haven't been here for a long time and you've already managed to charm everyone with your radiant personality.

Well said. You hit the nail on the head with "radiant personality".

 

[Beatrice]

Well said. You hit the nail on the head with "radiant personality".

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are SO SWEET

 

[bsebring]

Aww, that is so good to hear. I have days when I feel just like that I wish I could hold onto them longer. They're amazing. Enjoy!

thankyou