How are you feeling?

[theslowesthand]

Finding it hard to relax in past day or so. A neighbour's using a REALLY bassy vehicle/sth for most of each day (not continuous, but regularly). And quite often i feel "riled up" (& powerless/etc). People who make such noises seem to have ZERO concern about it affecting others in the area. People like this PISS ME OFF!!! :veryangry:

 

[defiance]

Finding it hard to relax in past day or so. A neighbour's using a REALLY bassy vehicle/sth for most of each day (not continuous, but regularly). And quite often i feel "riled up" (& powerless/etc). People who make such noises seem to have ZERO concern about it affecting others in the area. People like this PISS ME OFF!!! :veryangry:

Yup I can relate to this. It amazes me how these people are either inconsiderate of others or are so oblivious to how F**KING ANNOYING they are. OH OH almost forgot the best part. When you tell them kindly if they can keep it down a bit as one might be trying to sleep or relax, they look at you as if you are at fault somehow. F**k these people.

 

[theslowesthand]

Yup I can relate to this. It amazes me how these people are either inconsiderate of others or are so oblivious to how F**KING ANNOYING they are. OH OH almost forgot the best part. When you tell them kindly if they can keep it down a bit as one might be trying to sleep or relax, they look at you as if you are at fault somehow. F**k these people.

Yeah, and they seem to think they're "superior" to others, and can do exactly as they please. Self-righteous bombastic b*stard(s). Oh, and for some reason they're usually men who do this overly-controlling sh*t, or in the case of my closest neighbour, a woman who looks, thinks & acts like a man; might in that case be testosterone-overload?! Saw a quote, went sth like this: "the weaker a man is, the more he has to have a big show of strength and power". And dare you confront them in any way, they show just how weak they are, by getting violently defensive, & in some cases physically violent. h:

 

[PugofCrydee]

its alright, man. i know what you mean.
when it really comes down to it, ALOT of people only care about what you have to offer them I guess. its hard to find the ones who will stick around even when you can't give them what they want. TRUE friends are rare...at least for ME they are.

It's not that people usually leave me, but rather I leave them..

 

[theslowesthand]

Just shovelling my time straight into the sewage pit...

 

[MollyBeGood]

Just bottle fed two bum lambs. Wow, they are so innocent and cute. I love the way they smell and the cute little noises they make too <3

 

[Graeme1988]

I think it's time I just gave up. There no f**kin' anymore. Nae fight left within in me. :sad: Cannae solider on stoically in the face of my disability, brave as it may be to those not in my situation.

But everyday is a constant struggle for me, to point where I not allowed to ever articulate how I actually feel out loud. Because, to my family, my day to day life isn't a struggle. It's great! Nevermind that, every decision I make, every opinion, feeling or thought utter by me is immediately dismissed as outright wrong by my family, as it does fit their view of how I should see the world. Since they're always telling me how I should be. Yep! That how controlling they still are with me.

But there's not much I can do to change how they tend to treat me, other than putting as much distance between them and me, emotionally. But then I am slowly become detached from the things that used to matter dearly to me. Och, well... Guess that's what happens when ye stop giving a f**k? :idontknow:

 

[defiance]

I'm afraid I will live too long and that I will still be this messed up mentally. Oh my god man such a thought scares me.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm afraid I will live too long and that I will still be this messed up mentally. Oh my god man such a thought scares me.

Kinda feel the same, myself. Though, the thought of me still having to live up to expectations and please my family all the time is a much scarier thought for me. No being allowed to do anything without their permission or approval. :kickingmyself:

I don't want spend the rest of life this way, always second guessing myself. Even looking back at my life up until noe, there are so many regrets; so many opportunities to have a better life and I let 'em pass me by. :sad: Because of fear, insecurity and a lack of family support. :sad:

 

[theslowesthand]

'I'm a f*cked up man, with a f*cked up plan'

 

[theslowesthand]

All that you suffer is all that you are
...
Drink (from the reasons that hold you alive)
...
Too late to discover peace of mind

 

[Kiwong]

Went out in the field with other work colleagues, one who I sensed was avoiding me, and is uncomfotable around me. I broke down behind some bushes for a while we're not one could see me.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

Went out in the field with other work colleagues, one who I sensed was avoiding me, and is uncomfotable around me. I broke down behind some bushes for a while we're not one could see me.

I'm sorry, 'wong. Socializing is torture most of the time.

 

[Graeme1988]

Happy, now that my internet connection seems to be working.

We'll see how long it lasts, like. :idontknow:
Since I'm on the verge o' flinging my laptop out the f**kin' wndow. :kickingmyself:

 

[Hot_Tamale]

I dont know why people talk about taco bell giving them the runs, I've eaten taco bell for years and haven't had runny diarrhea from it ever. Maybe I'm just lucky and have good genes.

 

[theslowesthand]

Happy, now that my internet connection seems to be working.

We'll see how long it lasts, like. :idontknow:
Since I'm on the verge o' flinging my laptop out the f**kin' wndow. :kickingmyself:

Maybe it's your ISP who's having issues? They generally do, every now & then (eg lightning strike hit their equipment).
Web cxn issues are one of several things that cause the most stress for me. I usu have to have a beer or so to get thru it.

 

[Graeme1988]

Maybe it's your ISP who's having issues? They generally do, every now & then (eg lightning strike hit their equipment).
Web cxn issues are one of several things that cause the most stress for me. I usu have to have a beer or so to get thru it.

Well, I was out yesterday and saw that my ISP is upgrading its lines in my area. Don't know how many days it'll take afore it's done? :idontknow:

It's not so stressful for me, since I've got plenty to be getting on with. Or I just watch movies to pass the time. It is irritating not being to get some files downloaded, as I need to reinstall some programs on ma laptop.

 

[theslowesthand]

Well, I was out yesterday and saw that my ISP is upgrading its lines in my area. Don't know how many days it'll take afore it's done? :idontknow:

Ahh, well that'll most likely be the cause of your internet issue, i would say. Might be wise to allow them a day or two to get all that work done?

 

[theslowesthand]

Just going thru the motions. Not very engaged, but "busy". I guess that'll do..

 

[Graeme1988]

Like I'd be better off dead. :sad:

Being lectured about how I treat people by my own family, when they treat me like I'm either too f**kin' stupid or too smart for 'em. :kickingmyself: But it's always my fault.