How are you feeling?

[MikeyC]

Now that my own mother doesn't want to help me, I'm completely alone. Might as well get used to this. I feel like plunging a fork into my throat, unless I can find something sharper.

Why doesn't she want to help you? Sometimes people who don't have the insight or the ability to help try to shy away from these situations.

Pathetic and alone again. I would have a drink, but even then there is no reason to by myself here. Just sitting here, again and again and again. It's a wonderful life.

Sorry to hear you're feeling so lonely, Psyche. Is there anyone you could call to hang out with? I've noticed some of your recent posts have been ones of loneliness.

This would be a really good night to go to sleep and never wake up.

Why? What happened? Or just feeling blue?

 

[Regret93]

Why doesn't she want to help you? Sometimes people who don't have the insight or the ability to help try to shy away from these situations.

I think she wants to, just doesn't know how. And if neither of us know how, who does? This is about me trying to find some way to get counseling or something similar, we're not exactly well off, and I imagine a service like that is expensive.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Why? What happened? Or just feeling blue?

Just one of my turns, Mikey—brought on, I suspect, by overindulgence in the pizza and the ice cream and the oh-so-chocolatey evil with a side dish of regret. Went a little nuts with the shopping last night. Again. h:

Thank you for asking.

I think she wants to, just doesn't know how. And if neither of us know how, who does? This is about me trying to find some way to get counseling or something similar, we're not exactly well off, and I imagine a service like that is expensive.

Back when I was in therapy, I went to a state-funded mental health center. I had to prove that my income was below a certain level to be eligible, but after that, counseling, doctor's appointments, group sessions, etc. were all extremely affordable—around $5 a session, as I recall. Even scripts were ridiculously inexpensive. The service, in case you're wondering, was uniformly excellent. I believe my therapist truly cared about my well-being, and the doctors actually listened to what I had to say. By contrast, before I found this place, I went to a private-practice psychiatrist who charged $70 for fifteen minutes of his time and proved to be a sadistic quack. Sometimes you get a lot more when you pay a lot less. Obviously, the system in your area—if there is one—will be different from the one here, but it's worth checking out all the same.

 

[Regret93]

I'll definitely be doing some research about places in my area Graybeard, thanks :|

 

[Graeme1988]

When I was a teen I used to cut. I think I did it because I had no other outlet for my pain. People bullied me, and I was ignorant enough to blame myself. Maybe I was punishing myself? I don't know, but I do hope you don't do it again.

Ah've felt a lotta stress lately. Mibbe ah need tae stop pittin' other folks happiness ahead uh ma ain, fur a wee while? :question: As difficult a task that is fur me...

There is a lot of worth in you.

Whoa! Ah don't hear that said uh me very often... Ah don't know whit tae say really. Thanks, Lavinialuna is the best ah cun dae. :thumbup:

 

[JuiceB]

Feeling very empty and depressed since it's once again my birthday.

I've forgotten how to feel happy, if that makes any sense. The things I do have in my life I care very little about. Stuff that I was once interested in have become like a burden to me and nothing new excites me. I'm still friendless and lonely with nowhere to go.

I have fallen so low since my teens and twenties. And just when I think I finally hit the bottom my birthday pops up. Another sad year of my life has ended.


((Sorry about the blues guys. I don't post as often as I use to but I needed to get this out.))

 

[Graeme1988]

Feeling very empty and depressed since it's once again my birthday.

I've forgotten how to feel happy, if that makes any sense. The things I do have in my life I care very little about. Stuff that I was once interested in have become like a burden to me and nothing new excites me. I'm still friendless and lonely with nowhere to go.

I have fallen so low since my teens and twenties. And just when I think I finally hit the bottom my birthday pops up. Another sad year of my life has ended.

((Sorry about the blues guys. I don't post as often as I use to but I needed to get this out.))

Ah know exactly whit ye mean, pal. No need to apologies fur feelin' like crap on yer birthday. Ah feel the same way. Sorry, ah know that probably doesnae help matters, jist sayin'... Oh! Happy Birthday, by-the-way! :brindis:

Ah huv the same feelin's when ma birthday comes roon. So yer no' the only one. Sorry ah dinnae huv any advice fur ye, since ah'm in the same metaphorical boat. Anyway, hope ye feel better soon, mate. :thumbup:

 

[dottie]

Angry, sick of media.

Too lazy to disengage.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

 

[Graeme1988]

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

Aye... My bouts of insomnia're like that as well. Ah try and listen to some relaxing music to take ma mind off these thoughts of regret. Sorry, ah cannae give ye any advice other than try to take yer mind off it.

 

[Nanita]

Feeling very empty and depressed since it's once again my birthday.

I've forgotten how to feel happy, if that makes any sense. The things I do have in my life I care very little about. Stuff that I was once interested in have become like a burden to me and nothing new excites me. I'm still friendless and lonely with nowhere to go.

I have fallen so low since my teens and twenties. And just when I think I finally hit the bottom my birthday pops up. Another sad year of my life has ended.


((Sorry about the blues guys. I don't post as often as I use to but I needed to get this out.))

I'm sorry you're feeling low. I can relate to losing interest in things that used to be exciting.
But still, happy birthday......!

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

I have had many nights of insomnia during the last couple of years. Sometimes there's nothing I can do to fall asleep and that feels horrible and I get frustrated and my thoughts are dark. It's like mental torture. I'm pretty sure that the reason for my insomnia is nervousness to the core. Like my nervous system is alarmed. Which is, I guess, an anxiety attack.

Sometimes it helped to position myself with my head in the other end of the bed, I mean in the foot-end of the bed. Or I go to sleep on the couch instead of the bed, that sometimes helps too. Like it takes me out of my funk to change things like that.

 

[BlissfulMoments]

Finest kind!

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

I think I see the problem here. You've been using my brain again, haven't you?

I wish I knew an easy way to stop the litany of regrets. It's like the blooper reel they sometimes show behind the credits at the end of a movie . . . except it is the movie, and ain't nobody laughin'. They key, I have heard, is to let go of the past and with it all that mental (and physical) junk. If I ever figure out how to pull off that trick, I'll be sure to let you know.

I find it sometimes helps to focus my thoughts deliberately on a particular subject, like a poem or project I'm working on. Lately, I've been obsessed with my grocery shopping list—not the items on it, but the physical object (long story)—so when I force myself to concentrate on that, my mind is so sick of hearing about it that I zonk out fairly quickly. It also helps to make sure that I'm physically ready for sleep: correct position, not too hot or cold, window open if the weather's right, fan on if needed, closet door shut to keep the monsters in, etc. When the body is comfortable and relaxed, it sets a good example for the mind . . . or something.

I hope this helps, at least a little bit.

 

[MikeyC]

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

People tend to think mostly when in bed and ready to fall asleep. Are you feeling okay now? Big hugs to you.

 

[shyflower]

Disturbed...Can't seem to stop thinking about what I saw going on the other night.. it disturbs me. How do you stop from thinking about something that you would never thought you would have to see? I had a bad feeling about something that told me I needed to get in my car and drive to this place to see what was going on. How to stop letting it bother me??

 

[BlissfulMoments]

Disturbed...Can't seem to stop thinking about what I saw going on the other night.. it disturbs me. How do you stop from thinking about something that you would never thought you would have to see? I had a bad feeling about something that told me I needed to get in my car and drive to this place to see what was going on. How to stop letting it bother me??

A guy I know has the same thing! He often sees things that bother him, and when he drives past the cal-de-sac at the end of his street, where he is compelled to look down there. It makes him very uncomfortable. He has Autism and OCD, also "chronic bad luck". He sees a car, down there, it takes everything to get him to not go down there. He has seen things that really bothered him. Also, so have I.

When people do drugs, that is one of the things that really bothers me, or do bad things without any remorse.

My guy friend, it's hard for him to talk to about it, becuase he has poor communication skills, and he doesn't get his message across very well, so people tend to jump to conclusions, and think the worse. He also has trouble trusting people, becuase of a lot of fake people bullies, etc. It's even hard for me to explain, becuase it's very different and very confusing for most people to understand, so yeah.

Something told you to go somewhere, and when you got there, that;s when you've seen something, you wished you hadn't?

I think what you're experincing is intrusive thoughts. It's thoughts of bad events, that keep coming back into your head automatically. I don't have an answer for this. I know about it, becuase my guy friend, has the same problem, and told me about it.

 

[shyflower]

A guy I know has the same thing! He often sees things that bother him, and when he drives past the cal-de-sac at the end of his street, where he is compelled to look down there. It makes him very uncomfortable. He has Autism and OCD, also "chronic bad luck". He sees a car, down there, it takes everything to get him to not go down there. He has seen things that really bothered him. Also, so have I.

When people do drugs, that is one of the things that really bothers me, or do bad things without any remorse.

My guy friend, it's hard for him to talk to about it, becuase he has poor communication skills, and he doesn't get his message across very well, so people tend to jump to conclusions, and think the worse. He also has trouble trusting people, becuase of a lot of fake people bullies, etc. It's even hard for me to explain, becuase it's very different and very confusing for most people to understand, so yeah.

Something told you to go somewhere, and when you got there, that;s when you've seen something, you wished you hadn't?

I think what you're experincing is intrusive thoughts. It's thoughts of bad events, that keep coming back into your head automatically. I don't have an answer for this. I know about it, becuase my guy friend, has the same problem, and told me about it.

No.. these thoughts are real.. what I saw was exactly the thoughts that were going through my mind before I arrived at the place. I walked into the place and there it was happening right in front of me.. ever since I saw it happening it has sickened me to think about what kind of people I really know. I do and don't wish I had seen it because I needed to know the truth and I found the answers there. It was like I was drawn to this place for a reason.. maybe so I could have some peace in knowing what was going on. I just can't stop replaying the events that I saw in my mind. I keep repeatedly seeing it over and over again.

 

[BlissfulMoments]

No.. these thoughts are real.. what I saw was exactly the thoughts that were going through my mind before I arrived at the place. I walked into the place and there it was happening right in front of me.. ever since I saw it happening it has sickened me to think about what kind of people I really know. I do and don't wish I had seen it because I needed to know the truth and I found the answers there. It was like I was drawn to this place for a reason.. maybe so I could have some peace in knowing what was going on. I just can't stop replaying the events that went on in my mind.

That's what I meant. Events playing over and over in your head. My friend would get that, and feel like he was there, lik it was happening again, like reliving it. He also found himself having alternate thoughts, like he would be there, but change what happened, like saying different things. When he gets it, it very upsetting.

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

My guy friend, has the exact same thing. At night it seems to beworse, and he thought it was only him that it happened to. He thought he had a curse, becuase he gets chonic bad things happening to him. I'm glad he is not alone.

He tried to tell people and post about it on forums, but he couldn't explain, becuase he has poor communication skills. It got him bullied and banned from a few.

You're not alone. THey are called Intrusive Thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are bad thoughts, whether actual events, or stuff that just popped up in your mind, and they just come, even if your're in a good mood, at least for him. The thing is, he told me what he is working on, is catching them , sooner than later, becuase the longer they play, the more upsetting it is.

He would picture himself making mistakes, and people recting to it, behind his back. Bad conclusions, and also bad events that had happened to him. One time, he was threatened by a group of guys, would play over and over again.

Also, he would have thoughts of those people attacking his family. Since it was so close to his house, he would think of these guys driving by and spotting his car, and coming in attacking his family. Thank goodness, nothing happened, but it wasn't a good few months for him.

 

[kihira]

Annoyed.

I have been having bouts of insomnia... how does anyone deal with this!?? I am thinking it is far more horrible than I ever imagined. My head won't turn off the thoughts and the darkness that usually lures me into dreamland is frigging awful. My mind literally treated me to every regret I have had in my life like a film. I wonder if I am not having anxiety attacks while trying to fall asleep. I think that is what is happening. I hope it stops.

I can remember experiencing this at a time when my work was over-busy and my head couldn't handle it well, the insistent thoughts were very dark, indeed. The 8 hrs of rainfall type thing on youtube is the only thing that works for me.

I'm feeling a bit off my head after sleeping away a virus yesterday; weird brain things happening

 

[Still_Waters]

I'm feeling okay I guess. I could be better but I refuse to be depressed anymore. I want things to get better. My bed won't become my coffin since I stay in it so much.