That's great! I wasn't feeling it earlier this morning, but I am now. I also feel sneezy and headachey.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
That's great! I wasn't feeling it earlier this morning, but I am now. I also feel sneezy and headachey.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Haven't posted here in awhile, but gosh. I wish somebody were near me, anybody really. I hate cipralex withdrawal.
MikeyC
Well-known member
I'm with you in spirit, Escape.
Lea
Banned
Somehow nostalgic and sad, tired and not feeling too well due to great humidity. Too much to do and I am not coping. I wish the town wasn´t so far (10 km). I get sick everytime I cycle back in the summer and nearly faint but so far I always made it home in the last minute. My mother said she once cycled from town in the summer, came home, was throwing up and fainted. I bought a melon recently and as I was carrying it on the bike, the bag felt down and the melon cracked. I didn´t check it but when I came home, it leaked and drowned my purse and mobile phone. Now I have to take it to the repair. And buy a new melon. And cat tins, because my parents don´t want to buy them. Each of them in a different supermarket far from each other. They never tell me when they are going shopping so that they don´t have to bring me things. Sometimes they bring me milk but not always. I also have to go to ask because of work again on another side of town. Not to mention I´d need to buy paints (and many other things) in the hobbymarket to decorate the rooms (I already did a bit and my father said it looked good). My father only goes shopping when it suits him and when he personally needs something (he´d drive to town because of one single ingredient, but when I need to bring heavy stuff I have to do it on my own).
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
So much tae say, yet ah don't know if ah should? :idontknow: Since it'd require tellin' ma family how ah feel, and what ah actually think o' certain members o' ma family. Lets just say ah've been bitin' ma tongue for a few years now, as has ma mum. She's got alot o' unexpressed feelings too - mostly about the family as a whole. We're fairly dysfunctional. So much so am the "sensable" one, but that only externally.
On the outside am zen like buddha. But interally am ragin'... Am conflicted at best, uncertain at the worse... :sad:
On the outside am zen like buddha. But interally am ragin'... Am conflicted at best, uncertain at the worse... :sad:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Naw, it's awright. Ah appreciated yer comment, regardless of not knowin' ma situation. But it's hard tae raise issues calmly in ma family - we don't do calm when it comes tae expressin' our true feelings. Long story short, ma oldest step-sister thinks she can knows best n' is never wrong, treat me with contempt. She got a smug sense o' superiority. Oh! And another thing, ma sister's idea or definition of "ironic humour" is tae cruely mock and insult other people's appearance, mine included. Ah don't know... maybe aw those years o' being racially bullied at school huv made me highly sensitive aboot ma appearance? F**k knows, eh...?
Anyway, ah'll leave it at that... dinnae (don't) want tae go off on an aggressive lecture explainin' in incredibly graphic,thorough detail the whole setup-punchline joke. It'll be like a f**kin' comedy autopsy with Venn diagrams! Because it's not just what ye say, but how ye sayin' it, innit? Right, ah'll shutthef**kup, now. That's enough fae me fur yin day!
Last night when I was brushing teeth, I went down memory lane. When I lived in an off-campus apartment, life was a nightmare, particularly with the neighbors from upstairs. They don't like me for whatever reason and find any reasons to pick on me or insult me. When I brush my teeth in the bathroom at night, the girls upstairs would bang on the walls and tell me to quiet down because I was being loud. It happened 2-3 times. I eventually had to brush my teeth in the closet, crouching down. Yes, either the walls must be very thin or those girls are just being mean.
And there were times when I go to the bathroom at night, the girl upstairs would make mocking noises, the most common being "poop." And she would then tell her other roommates about me being in the bathroom and they would all yell "eww..." Sometimes I feel the urge to yell at them, "Hey, everyone does it, even you too. Stop being so hypocritical!" but due to social anxiety and fear, I couldn't say it.
Sometimes they have parties on FRidays and Saturdays, and they would be stomping around at night like 1 AM - 2AM. Music was blasting over the top. I hear one person said, "What about your neighbor?" and one of the mean girls said "F*** her!" Obviously, they didn't care.
Those neihgbors were one of the most arrogant, egoitistical bunch of people I've met. I don't know if they're immature or just plain mean and arrogant. THey are just like the classmates who used to bully me.
Eventually my brother couldn't get enough sleep because of all the noises upstairs so he banged at them. He started slamming doors and making loud noises. At first they thought it was me and started making noises at me but then they finally realized who it was.
Man, I feel like justice has been served! FInally my brother stood up to those people. The weird thing I don't get is why do neighbors hate me and not my brother (until he finally does something to them)? Why is it that everytime I move to a new place with my brother, the neighbors hate me first? Is it because I'm a woman so they think I'm naturally "b*atchy"? It's the same thing with relatives. Most of them like my brother better. They have no idea about his violence.
Anyways, my brother was out of his mind. He strangled me and told me we should move out quickly! So we eventually found an upstairs apartment off-campus and moved. It was a nightmare there as well, but that's another story.
And there were times when I go to the bathroom at night, the girl upstairs would make mocking noises, the most common being "poop." And she would then tell her other roommates about me being in the bathroom and they would all yell "eww..." Sometimes I feel the urge to yell at them, "Hey, everyone does it, even you too. Stop being so hypocritical!" but due to social anxiety and fear, I couldn't say it.
Sometimes they have parties on FRidays and Saturdays, and they would be stomping around at night like 1 AM - 2AM. Music was blasting over the top. I hear one person said, "What about your neighbor?" and one of the mean girls said "F*** her!" Obviously, they didn't care.
Those neihgbors were one of the most arrogant, egoitistical bunch of people I've met. I don't know if they're immature or just plain mean and arrogant. THey are just like the classmates who used to bully me.
Eventually my brother couldn't get enough sleep because of all the noises upstairs so he banged at them. He started slamming doors and making loud noises. At first they thought it was me and started making noises at me but then they finally realized who it was.
Man, I feel like justice has been served! FInally my brother stood up to those people. The weird thing I don't get is why do neighbors hate me and not my brother (until he finally does something to them)? Why is it that everytime I move to a new place with my brother, the neighbors hate me first? Is it because I'm a woman so they think I'm naturally "b*atchy"? It's the same thing with relatives. Most of them like my brother better. They have no idea about his violence.
Anyways, my brother was out of his mind. He strangled me and told me we should move out quickly! So we eventually found an upstairs apartment off-campus and moved. It was a nightmare there as well, but that's another story.
Feeling a bit anxious. My mom has been voicing her desire to sell our house and move but me and my dad are against it. She doesn't know how lucky she is to live in a house. I've lived in enough apartments to realize how much of a nightmare apartment living can be. At home, I don't have to worry about neighbors making fun of my bathroom habits, or complaining about how much I brush my teeth, or whether f I pissed off any neighbors with the amount of noise I'm making.
neardeath
Well-known member
being hard on myself for turning down yet another social invite to see someone I was just thinking about this morning. Sometimes I just can't do it. Hate this. People just give up on me one by one over time.
Part of it stems from the fact I am usually so depressed that every time I speak I start to cry. Socializing is just too exhausting when I feel like this.
Part of it stems from the fact I am usually so depressed that every time I speak I start to cry. Socializing is just too exhausting when I feel like this.
selon
Well-known member
Awful. My thesis is going nowhere and I have to hand it in in like 4 or 5 weeks. My supervisor's barely available. Talked to my parents and told them that I'm really scared and stressed out. They're panicking, saying "we don't know how to help you". I know they don't I just wanna hear that its gonna be alright anyway. Instead my dad tells me that I cannot afford to fail because I would have to pay next year's tuition fee which I cannot really afford. Oh an btw selon, do you have a job already for after graduation? No? Well, let's just hope you're not gonna be unemployed for too long. ... AAAAARGHHH!!! The thought of moving back home is crippling me. All my bad habits and fears and anxieties will come back. Why does life have to be like this?
this_portrait
Well-known member
Weak (that might change now that I've eaten) and still congested (though not as bad as it was).
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
I feel broken, hopeless, defeated.
I feel like crying, screaming, smashing, cutting.
I feel trapped and afraid.
Is there no way out of here?
I feel like crying, screaming, smashing, cutting.
I feel trapped and afraid.
Is there no way out of here?
MikeyC
Well-known member
Did your mum say that they're specifically moving into an apartment? Maybe she wants to move into another house.
This all sounds very stressful indeed. Do the best on your thesis for now and worry about all the other stuff another time. You'll do your head in worrying about what your parents want while trying to complete your thesis.
She did say rent an apartment with my brother in another city, should he choose to go to school there. My brother at one point told me that he wanted to move to a new place every 6 months, which means renting an apartment every 6 months. He's paranoid about bad people following us and he blames me for "making too much noises which serve to anger the neighbors." I think it's totally nuts.
I was crying earlier today but feel better now. Sometimes my life seems like a virtual reality simulation that I have no control over. It's as if there are unseen administrators pushing buttons behind the scenes to create events for earth residents to participate in. In a sense, we are like actors and actresses on a world stage, or chessboard.