Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sore right knee, sore head and feelin' dizzy - ah feel great! NOT! :kickingmyself:
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same here... but ah've always kinda felt like that. :idontknow:
Nanita
Well-known member
I probably have "better" things to do, but somehow they feel too stupid to do, and I´d rather be here ...
Nanita
Well-known member
Yeah.... me too actually.............. How great huh
theslowesthand
Banned
Sorry mate for not replying .. not been to socialphobiaworld for a few days.
Basically what i meant was this:
- When negative events happen (eg with people), try to focus your mind more/mainly on the positives if you can. It may take some effort to find the positives, but every little positive found is good for you.
- When negative life happens (eg depressed, which you are), try to focus your mind more/mainly on the positives if you can. It may take some effort to find the positives, but every little positive found is good for you.
What i mean by "positive" is that which makes you feel good, even just a tiny bit (eg the "small pleasures" in life). As i said, every little positive helps, in thoughts, feelings & deeds, as they can help defeat the negatives which you oft seem overwhelmed by if i'm not mistaken.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, that last bit is very true, ah do get overwhelmed by the negative. Okay, ah get what ya mean, now. Focus on the stuff that makes me feel good (eg music and comedy). Oh, and art, even though, I've not really drawn or painted anything in years - kinda lost ma confidence in that area. Though, music and comedy seem tae keep me going. It's just hard when ah tend to "relapse" intae depression - which has been happenin' alot, lately - to find the motivation tae do stuff. :idontknow:
theslowesthand
Banned
I'm not 100% sure, but i believe major depression to be solely caused by chemical imbalance in the brain. And lesser forms of depression (eg dysthymia - lack of ability to gain pleasure from anything) to be mainly mainly psychological (but also maybe a bit of brain-chemicals & environmental). You'll certainly no about it if you have major depression (MDD). You seem to have moderate depression, which at times veers into major??.
But whatever the case may be, what you need to do (imho) is 2 things:
- Remedy the brain-chemicals imbalance (by way of depression medication)
- Work on your psychological (thinking habits). As depression "grabs hold of" all negatives it finds, and amplifies them. You need to work on eliminating form your daily life all depressing, mood-lowering thoughts. And fill your life with as much positives as you can (to "blot out" all/most negatives). Also ideally working on some deep, long-standing issues you have (as they keep constantly feeding negatives in via subconscious). Then you will find your average mood will be better, less irritable & angry, don't react to people near as much,etc. That's a good target of life to have, yeah?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
While ah agree with ya, it might be quite difficult resolvin' deep, long-standin' issues. Since those issues are family related. It's quite hard overcomin' constant negative reinforcement from yer parents. Not sayin' it can't be done. Just there's not much ye can do when that issue can't be discussed openly.
As well as some trust issues. Let just say, my mum was a bit too overprotective of me, tae the point of not trustin' anyone who wasn't family. At least, in ma experience. My physical disability's probably the reason for that?
Ma mum would also much rather that I "forget about it, and move on". As if it were that easy. This relates to most of ma issues, but particularly ma struggle with depression. Since she become indifferent whenever I talk about ma depression - is it because she also struggles with depression? Probably... So, medication is probably ma best opinion, aye (yeah)? :idontknow:
^Sorry am not use tae openin' up about ma issues much. Usually just keep 'em to maself. Ah know, bad idea! Don't get me wrong, though, am not sayin' ma mum's a bad person, overall. There's just issues here and there which we don't discuss... for whatever, unspoken reason.
Frustrated. I signed up for Amazon Prime free trial. Today was supposed to be movie night. I was gonna watch a blockbuster. I don't have Kindle, Roku, or wireless TV so I had to stream it from my computer. Flash player worked fine, but the problem is with the loading. Movie takes so freakin long to load, like forever. I waited 10-15 minutes but the screen still says "loading..." Finally I gave up and said "to H*** with this" and logged out of Amazon. I think the problem is my Internet connection. It's slow as heck so I won't be able to stream movies.
And talk about disinterest in movies. I haven't watched a movie in what, 4 years, and now I'm finally out of school and decided to watch one and this sh*t happens. Summer school's about to start and I don't have much time left...
And talk about disinterest in movies. I haven't watched a movie in what, 4 years, and now I'm finally out of school and decided to watch one and this sh*t happens. Summer school's about to start and I don't have much time left...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Meh! :idontknow: Am no sure how ah feel tae be honest. 
My allergies are on high alert.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Hot and tired. It got up to 85 degrees today, the hottest day of the month so far. :/ As much as I enjoy sunny days, I'm not looking forward to summer heat. I wish it would stay in the 60 - 70 degree range for the whole season.
I did spend a little of the day gardening with my mom. I usually hate gardening, but lately I haven't mind helping. The rest of the day I've spent playing on my Nintendo DS again after not touching it for over a year. I seriously wish I had more games other than LoZ: Phantom Hourglass and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I'm so lost on Phantom Hourglass, I can't even remember what I did since I played it last. I think I'm just about 3/4 of the way done, but I never bothered to finish because I got stuck and it was honestly kind of boring me. Instead I've been tying up some loose ends on Kingdom Hearts. I finished the main story a while ago, but I still have a lot more items to unlock and synthesize.
I did spend a little of the day gardening with my mom. I usually hate gardening, but lately I haven't mind helping. The rest of the day I've spent playing on my Nintendo DS again after not touching it for over a year. I seriously wish I had more games other than LoZ: Phantom Hourglass and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. I'm so lost on Phantom Hourglass, I can't even remember what I did since I played it last. I think I'm just about 3/4 of the way done, but I never bothered to finish because I got stuck and it was honestly kind of boring me. Instead I've been tying up some loose ends on Kingdom Hearts. I finished the main story a while ago, but I still have a lot more items to unlock and synthesize.
theslowesthand
Banned
Agreed. So it's either have some almighty/intense rows, &/or try to often make "subtle" hints/jokes ... in order to try to change their attitude towards you. If left as-is, they certainly won't change their attitude on their own volition. It's all up to you to try to "re-teach" them how to treat/view you. You could view it like re-training monkeys in a zoo, as it is quite similar really.
Like with my mother, talking of such "negative" stuff (& combined with my low "emotional tone") would be making her feel too bad to be of any use with "support". I mean, she is your mother, so the emotional effects can possibly be overwhelming for her. I guess there is a difference between family and friends; each has its limits.
One of the first steps in overcoming one's problems is acceptance of their existence (to yourself)
It's a good starting point. It might be able to "lift" you enough to motivate you into doing other things that could help yourself.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, though it's just ma mother now, ma dad passed away last year. Tried tae make an effort gettin' through to him over the course of the 8 years he was part of ma life, but no luck.
Aye, but she doesnae seem tae want to acknowledge how all the negative/snide comments huv affected ma self-confidence and self-esteem. Ah mean, when ah was in ma teens she'd constantly say - I'd either overhear her sayin' to ma older sister or she'd say to ma face that: "All men are useless! Relationships are pointless, yer better off alone" That first statement being all the more ironic since I'm her only son, and she'd always tell me she "...didnae mean it!" Which is kinda hard to believe since it always sounded like she meant it.
^ Stuff like that is hard to overcome, especially since ma mum won't talk about it. I'm not tryin' to hurt her. Ah would just like tae know why these things were said? Since they've had quite a profound affect on me. But she just prefers to say she was "Only joking..." Or "Ah don't know..."
We're always dancing around the issues since one of us doesnae want tae acknowledge them. And my mum also, recently, told that she "...gave up a long time ago" :crying: How am I supposed to feel about that? :idontknow:
That's true. Maybe meds would help. Though, am no sure about the long standin' issues. Since ah don't know if ah'd be comfortable going to therapy and opening up about these difficult issues. Since they're quite emotional. :sad:
Yesterday I had horrible stomach cramps. Took 2 pills of acetominophen but still no effect. But after 1.5 hours later, finally the cramps died down. The coffee must have helped.
I received 2 calls from a debt collection agency. My body froze and went into "defense mode." The rep said I have to pay a $3400 debt from a private school. I told her I already got the debt canceled by the school. The school made a mistake and I had documentation to confirm it. She told me to fax over the documentation, which I did.
Several summers ago, I enrolled in a private, for-profit nursing school. I was desperate to get a well-paying job so I thought nursing was the way to go. The well-established public nursing schools in my area had a long waiting list, plus they're hard to get into, so I applied to a private for profit nursing school and got accepted very easily. I only attended classes for 2 days before dropping out. I had to sign several forms at the financial aid office, copies of which I still kept with me.
I dropped out because I wasn't sure if I liked nursing at all, or if nursing was even the right career for me. Many nurses see their career as more than a job, a calling if you will. I wasn't sure. Plus the tuition was very expensive, around $35K - $40K a year, more than 7-8X the cost of public school tuition. I don't want to be saddled with so much debt. But I still wanted to explore the nursing field a bit. So I enrolled in a CNA (certified nursing assistant) program for $300 for 3 weeks. I get to observe as well as practice taking temperatures, shaving people's beard, making beds, turning patients over, taking their blood pressure, etc. We even went to a nursing home to get some real life experience. I graduated from the program with a CNA license. It was through this CNA program that I finally realized, once and for all, that nursing is NOT the right field for me. Volunteering in the hospital also helped me come to this conclusion. I don't regret taking the course. My CNA license is probably expired now because I never held a CNA job, but I could care less.
For all you guys out there considering college, avoid going to private for-profit schools (aka Phoenix, Devry, ATI). These schools have a reputation of ripping students off. You can do a simple Google search like "Phoenix scam" or "for profit school scam" to find out more. And if some of you are planning to be a doctor, nurse, teacher, or whatever but don't know for sure, I encourage you to do more research. Don't immediately dish out $40K for a nursing degree but realize you don't enjoy nursing at all. There's the less expensive CNA option, or volunteer at a hospital.
I received 2 calls from a debt collection agency. My body froze and went into "defense mode." The rep said I have to pay a $3400 debt from a private school. I told her I already got the debt canceled by the school. The school made a mistake and I had documentation to confirm it. She told me to fax over the documentation, which I did.
Several summers ago, I enrolled in a private, for-profit nursing school. I was desperate to get a well-paying job so I thought nursing was the way to go. The well-established public nursing schools in my area had a long waiting list, plus they're hard to get into, so I applied to a private for profit nursing school and got accepted very easily. I only attended classes for 2 days before dropping out. I had to sign several forms at the financial aid office, copies of which I still kept with me.
I dropped out because I wasn't sure if I liked nursing at all, or if nursing was even the right career for me. Many nurses see their career as more than a job, a calling if you will. I wasn't sure. Plus the tuition was very expensive, around $35K - $40K a year, more than 7-8X the cost of public school tuition. I don't want to be saddled with so much debt. But I still wanted to explore the nursing field a bit. So I enrolled in a CNA (certified nursing assistant) program for $300 for 3 weeks. I get to observe as well as practice taking temperatures, shaving people's beard, making beds, turning patients over, taking their blood pressure, etc. We even went to a nursing home to get some real life experience. I graduated from the program with a CNA license. It was through this CNA program that I finally realized, once and for all, that nursing is NOT the right field for me. Volunteering in the hospital also helped me come to this conclusion. I don't regret taking the course. My CNA license is probably expired now because I never held a CNA job, but I could care less.
For all you guys out there considering college, avoid going to private for-profit schools (aka Phoenix, Devry, ATI). These schools have a reputation of ripping students off. You can do a simple Google search like "Phoenix scam" or "for profit school scam" to find out more. And if some of you are planning to be a doctor, nurse, teacher, or whatever but don't know for sure, I encourage you to do more research. Don't immediately dish out $40K for a nursing degree but realize you don't enjoy nursing at all. There's the less expensive CNA option, or volunteer at a hospital.
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Sorry I'm making long posts today but I need to unload somewhere.
How do I say this, a friend of a friend hates being interim executive director. Her passion lies in creating web apps, basically IT stuff, but too bad she has to be managing the organization instead. She absolutely despises it. It was simply a mismatch of person and position. She is not qualified to do it, but if she quits now, she will feel bad about it. Plus she doesn't even like what the organization is promoting. Higher education shouldn't be forced on everybody.
This friend of a friend wants to get involved in new website development for the organization, but her hands are tied with management. She is busy watching IT volunteers having a good time while she is sulking in her job. She couldn't wait to quit one day, but she wants to do it with grace.
How do I say this, a friend of a friend hates being interim executive director. Her passion lies in creating web apps, basically IT stuff, but too bad she has to be managing the organization instead. She absolutely despises it. It was simply a mismatch of person and position. She is not qualified to do it, but if she quits now, she will feel bad about it. Plus she doesn't even like what the organization is promoting. Higher education shouldn't be forced on everybody.
This friend of a friend wants to get involved in new website development for the organization, but her hands are tied with management. She is busy watching IT volunteers having a good time while she is sulking in her job. She couldn't wait to quit one day, but she wants to do it with grace.
I forgot to mention that this friend of a friend gets jealous everytime she sees a new person applying for an IT position in the org. And when she hears about current IT team members having a good time, her heart fills with envy. But this org is the only thing she got going for her. If she quits now, it won't be good for her resume. I'm not sure what to advise her. But we both agree it's not a matter of whether she'll quit. It's a matter of when.
Another option I thought up of: she doesn't have to quit the org entirely. She could step down from interim executive directing and then join the IT team as a web app developer. She could then devote her entire time to developing a web app for the org. Win win situation. Good for her resume and good for the org.
Another option I thought up of: she doesn't have to quit the org entirely. She could step down from interim executive directing and then join the IT team as a web app developer. She could then devote her entire time to developing a web app for the org. Win win situation. Good for her resume and good for the org.
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Phoenixx
Well-known member
A little depressed today, but that's due to a number of factors. Stupid summer heat, tiredness, my little vacation almost over, a list of things I still have to do before I go back to college next Tuesday, my brother came back from Michigan yesterday morning and has been annoying me as usual (thankfully he leaves late tonight), and both of my parents have been irritable this week and I don't even know why. Ugh...
In better news, I got an e-mail from a former teacher of mine. I e-mailed him last week, but he never responded until today. I plan to go see him this Friday and I'm pretty excited and kind of nervous because I don't want to see other random kids. I'm not looking forward to seeing the other teacher either, since she made most of my senior year hell. I can't see one without seeing the other, so I'll have to deal. I put up with her for 2 years, I can put up with her for another day I think.
In better news, I got an e-mail from a former teacher of mine. I e-mailed him last week, but he never responded until today. I plan to go see him this Friday and I'm pretty excited and kind of nervous because I don't want to see other random kids. I'm not looking forward to seeing the other teacher either, since she made most of my senior year hell. I can't see one without seeing the other, so I'll have to deal. I put up with her for 2 years, I can put up with her for another day I think.