How are you feeling?

Something-Vague

Well-known member
I am feeling gross. I am trying to eat better and excercize more, I've been doing ok but I didn't work out today and for the past few days been just eating whatever, even though it might not be alot it seems like it to me cause I'm so used to eating just a little bit. And I have been trying to eat somewhat clean, and when I go off that I feel really yucky :(. Gonna go run ealy tomorrow. Blah.

This. Definitely this. :\

I hope that you're able to get back on track soon!
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
Cold. It's really windy here (more so than usual) and I turned the heat down in my apartment two days ago because it got hot.

Luckily I found some comfy sweatpants to lounge in.
 

neardeath

Well-known member
I've been trying different meds for over 30 years and nothing has worked. Today I am trying another one. Talk about insanity. I have no hope it will help. Think I will make plans to move to legal cannabis state. ____ this!
 

Lea

Banned
Ok an update, the agency fired me and I'm going home. They didn't give me any slightest opportunity at all, even to do other type of care. All it came down to is that I am too quiet and it will be the same everywhere. As if I didn't know that, for them is very easy to dismiss me as they have plenty of better normal people. I know I am not suitable for anything, yet I have no other possiblity so I tried DESPITE all my difficulties and despite not fitting in. What they did is, they fired me JUST BECAUSE of my difficulties and not fitting in, not giving me any slightest opportunity to try further. I actually think I could do at least that other type of care as I did it before and nobody complained, only at check ups they said I was doing everything ok, but am too shy and should speak more. This was my last try at care jobs, I should do something else but I've been trying to figure out what my whole life, and didn't find anything. So I either keep surviving at home with abusive father, on meagre disability benefits, or finish this idiotic life.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Sick, fed up with people! Well, family, mair tae the point... Ah don't know why ah even bother opening ma mouth tae speak? No that ah dae that much, anyway.

Especially when naebody takes me seriously tae begin with. But am use tae just being laughed at most o' the time. Even for merely givin' a straight, matter-of-fact answer tae a simple question. Or when ah say that ah "...cannae bothered. Why? Because ah can't be bothered!". :sarcastic: Aye... because that's f**kin' hilarious! Innit?!
Ha-bloody-ha! Dae ye see why ah hate the Scottish accent...?!
:kickingmyself:

Ah mean, am used tae it, as ah said. It doesnae help the auld self-esteem or nothing or make me want tae talk more. If anything, it makes me self-conscious of ma ain voice, and contemplating the idea o' embracing the quiet solitude o' selective mutism. Sure, it can get lonely when ah actually think about it but, at least, there's naebody sniggering and laughing at me and makin' me feel like a right idiot aw the time. :sad: RANT OVER!
 
Regarding your latter comment, I tend to procrastinate and then overwhelm myself near the end of whatever I need to accomplish. Luckily, though, that stress, though bothersome, motivates me to get the job done. I hope that you're successful in completing whatever work you need to! Sometimes it is nice (and necessary!) to have a lazy day, though.

haha yup, and this is exactly what happened, I got totally stressed out,buckled down overwhelmed with it and then got it all in at the eleventh hour. :giggle:
 
Ok an update, the agency fired me and I'm going home. They didn't give me any slightest opportunity at all, even to do other type of care. All it came down to is that I am too quiet and it will be the same everywhere. As if I didn't know that, for them is very easy to dismiss me as they have plenty of better normal people. I know I am not suitable for anything, yet I have no other possiblity so I tried DESPITE all my difficulties and despite not fitting in. What they did is, they fired me JUST BECAUSE of my difficulties and not fitting in, not giving me any slightest opportunity to try further. I actually think I could do at least that other type of care as I did it before and nobody complained, only at check ups they said I was doing everything ok, but am too shy and should speak more. This was my last try at care jobs, I should do something else but I've been trying to figure out what my whole life, and didn't find anything. So I either keep surviving at home with abusive father, on meagre disability benefits, or finish this idiotic life.

Oh I'm sorry Lea, it sounds like you're having a really difficult time. If you want to talk more about it, send me a pm. I think it's really inspiring that you keep trying and you give it your best and I'm really sorry that it didn't work out this time for you.
 
Sick, fed up with people! Well, family, mair tae the point... Ah don't know why ah even bother opening ma mouth tae speak? No that ah dae that much, anyway.

Especially when naebody takes me seriously tae begin with. But am use tae just being laughed at most o' the time. Even for merely givin' a straight, matter-of-fact answer tae a simple question ... Dae ye see why ah hate the Scottish accent...?!

Ah mean, am used tae it, as ah said. It doesnae help the auld self-esteem or nothing or make me want tae talk more. If anything, it makes me self-conscious of ma ain voice, and contemplating the idea o' embracing the quiet solitude o' selective mutism. Sure, it can get lonely when ah actually think about it but, at least, there's naebody sniggering and laughing at me and makin' me feel like a right idiot aw the time
Do they not have scottish accents also?

I can recall last living with my family. It almost drove me up the wall at times!. It was constant, daily irritations. In the end it was somewhat violent arguments (last one i recall being chased with my dad carrying a rock; bloody fiery scottish ancestry, f*ck it, lol). But now been living alone for well over 10 years, so that stuff is all long forgotten. I still react to hearing people tho (eg neighbours); i tend to HATE hearing people's noises (let alone their words!).

Your family members do seem rather "nasty" or something similar. Is this true?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Do they not have scottish accents also?

Aye, but they dinnae talk like ah dae, most o' the time. ← See? Ah don't know why, am just mair comfortable talkin' in Scots, maist o' the time. But ye cannae dae that aw the time, especially in social situation withoot makin' a total eejit o' yersel'. That's how ah feel, at times, anyway. So ah suppose that explain the being laughed at? Am unintentionally funny, ah guess...?

But, ye see, speakin' in Scots nowadays, there a sterotypical assumption by some folk that if ye talk using mostly Scottish words/dialect then yer a NED (Non-Educated Delinquent - a hooligan in other words). Because they speak mostly in Scots and they're no too bright, either. So ye see why am so self-conscious aboot the Scotch accent? Scottish, ah mean... - just a wee joke, there. :giggle:

Ah mean, the day, ma oldest sister laughed at me fur merely answering her question: "What wrong, can ye no be bothered?" Me: "Aye..." And ah left it at that and went aboot sortin' ma laptop. As ah had been, afore she knock on ma bedroom and just entered room. Noo... where the comedic value (laughs) in that situation? Eh?! Or am ah missing something, there? :confused:

I can recall last living with my family. It almost drove me up the wall at times!. It was constant, daily irritations. In the end it was somewhat violent arguments (last one i recall being chased with my dad carrying a rock; bloody fiery scottish ancestry, f*ck it, lol).

F**kin' hell! :eek: Good thing, am too passive tae huv an argument end like that. Though, ah do huv quite a temper and fly off the hand verbally, sometimes. :bigsmile:

But now been living alone for well over 10 years, so that stuff is all long forgotten. I still react to hearing people tho (eg neighbours); i tend to HATE hearing people's noises (let alone their words!).

Your family members do seem rather "nasty" or something similar. Is this true?

I wouldnae use that exactly word aboot ma family. More patronising and condensending... Though, ma 2 older sisters do like take the piss outta me ("jokingly" make fun o' me). And ah say jokingly with a great o' sarcasm because they're jokes are sh!te. And not joke ah could respond tae wi' a witty comeback withoot partly meanin' the insult deep doon. Since am the youngest of 3 - though, am no the youngest member o' the family.
 

SoScared

Well-known member
Phew – a lot better than this morning. There is some important stuff going on that seems out of my control and it got to me.
Overall I’ve made so much progress but that was a nasty one.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I feel really sh*tty today. I kind of regret taking one of my classes, should have probably registered for a different one. I don't know what went wrong. I was able to see my submission using 2 different computers but my teacher told me she couldn't see my submission at all so I got a 0. I contacted Tech Support. I hope this whole thing gets sorted out soon.

Just don't feel like doing much for today, but I gotta force myself to anyway. I'm already wasting time.
 

cocorose

Well-known member
I have noticed I am feeling different every day. One day I'm happy, one day I'm hopeful, and the next day I feel worthless. The happy & hopeful feelings are just facades.. deep down I am scared sh*tless and feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. It feels like I am trying so hard to be positive but the negative feelings, failures, & mistakes are just too much and they are pulling me down, I am just too far gone to ever be ok. It's just a matter of time before I fall & won't be able to get back up at all. I am tired of struggling, and I think I will have to let go soon.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I have noticed I am feeling different every day. One day I'm happy, one day I'm hopeful, and the next day I feel worthless. The happy & hopeful feelings are just facades.. deep down I am scared sh*tless and feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. It feels like I am trying so hard to be positive but the negative feelings, failures, & mistakes are just too much and they are pulling me down, I am just too far gone to ever be ok. It's just a matter of time before I fall & won't be able to get back up at all. I am tired of struggling, and I think I will have to let go soon.

Yeah, sadly, ah can relate there, cocorose. :sad: So yer not alone.
 
I have noticed I am feeling different every day. One day I'm happy, one day I'm hopeful, and the next day I feel worthless. The happy & hopeful feelings are just facades.. deep down I am scared sh*tless and feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. It feels like I am trying so hard to be positive but the negative feelings, failures, & mistakes are just too much and they are pulling me down, I am just too far gone to ever be ok. It's just a matter of time before I fall & won't be able to get back up at all. I am tired of struggling, and I think I will have to let go soon.

I am sorry to hear you are going through these feelings cocorose.:sad:

Unfortunately I can relate to everything you just described as well. I keep struggling to keep my feet on the ladder rungs, but it is a constant battle.
I hope you manage to keep holding on, don't "let go soon" as you said. Maybe something will come along and change your situation unexpectedly.
 

hidwell

Well-known member
I have noticed I am feeling different every day. One day I'm happy, one day I'm hopeful, and the next day I feel worthless. The happy & hopeful feelings are just facades.. deep down I am scared sh*tless and feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. It feels like I am trying so hard to be positive but the negative feelings, failures, & mistakes are just too much and they are pulling me down, I am just too far gone to ever be ok. It's just a matter of time before I fall & won't be able to get back up at all. I am tired of struggling, and I think I will have to let go soon.

It is very tempting to give in to these feelings, I think we welcome the perceived relief of eternal sleep as a fix all to our daily struggles of life. I know I would be quite happy to rest eternally.
 
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