How are you feeling?

[Opaline]

Re: Whatever

Waking up seems so pointless. Every day seems so pointless. I hate waking up, I hate it. From the very moment I wake up I already can’t wait for the day be over. These days have been seeming so agonizingly long and I have absolutely nothing to do. I know there’s potentially things I /could/ be doing, but I honestly feel like I just can’t do anything. Even the simplest and easiest things just about anyone could do are just too much for me, and I know I’ll fail at whatever I even attempt to start doing. I’m just wasting all my time doing nothing being totally pointless, but I’m just a pointless person I guess. Then when the day is finally over, I just have to wait until the next one to wake up to yet another horrible day. I can’t breathe a sigh of relief when every day is exactly the same.

I know exactly what you mean, and I'm sure many others here can relate as well.

I'm sorry you feel so bad, I'm in the exact same place as you. It's like you're trapped, there IS no escape or relief because you're stuck in the same mind and body and life, there's no nightmare to wake up from; you're LIVING the nightmare.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Then Again

I know exactly what you mean, and I'm sure many others here can relate as well.

I'm sorry you feel so bad, I'm in the exact same place as you. It's like you're trapped, there IS no escape or relief because you're stuck in the same mind and body and life, there's no nightmare to wake up from; you're LIVING the nightmare.

Yeah . I guess knowing that I'm waking up the same person I was before is what really bothers me because I just really don't want to be me. I hate myself far more than I would ever want to admit. There’s things I would love to change about myself, but a lot of stuff isn’t even possible to change. I know I'm the only one who can make things different but I just don't know how to do that :/. I know you're having a hard right time right now too, and it's nice to have people to relate to. Thank you for the reply, and as hopeless as it seems I really do hope things get better for you too. This feeling sucks, and I know it does.

 

[Opaline]

Re: Then Again

Yeah . I guess knowing that I'm waking up the same person I was before is what really bothers me because I just really don't want to be me. I hate myself far more than I would ever want to admit. There’s things I would love to change about myself, but a lot of stuff isn’t even possible to change. I know I'm the only one who can make things different but I just don't know how to do that :/. I know you're having a hard right time right now too, and it's nice to have people to relate to. Thank you for the reply, and as hopeless as it seems I really do hope things get better for you too. This feeling sucks, and I know it does.

Yeah, I am literally dealing with the exact same thing. I could have written all that word for word.

 

[theslowesthand]

I also am struggling with lack of progress. Seem to be creating my own personal, private torture-chamber of misery. I never seem able to do the "right" things - at best they're a diversion; at worst a disaster (like couple days ago, had some hard grog, didn't "measure" it as i used to, threw a few things in house, did sth stupid to previous keyboard (involving "diluted alcohol"), sicked-up in bed).

But i guess people like me need to learn the hard way. I need to be right down in the pits of misery & despair it seems, for me to be motivated to change anything.

But looking at things from another perspective, i don't think all is lost, as maybe i have been able to address one or two major "issues" in this lifetime, which means this will help my soul's next life here on earth (this belief helps me a little to "accept" slightly better, the regular extremes of suffering i go through). It's hard to believe, and i still can't comprehend it, that "all of this will pass" eventually...

 

[SacredClown]

I believe I'm getting worse. Every day is like the day before. Tried to get help from a shrink but all i did was whenge for an hour which she loved because I was paying. That ended two months ago. It was like expecting affection from a hooker, and it never even occured to her that i have a social phobea!!...

lately i take everything wrong and see it as more criticism which makes me not care to produce anything of value. I'm watching my career slip through my fingers with each day and sit feeling sorry for myself whilst my colleagues reach success which they gladly brag about on facebook..

even coming here doesn't help much..it did for a few days, but now i see it as just another forum clique (no offense intended, but that's how i feel), the same as being on a college course, or being around workmates.

i spend my time flipping pages on the PC between here, facebook, email which never has any news and a dating site which has lots of people viewing me but no comments. So yes. I am in a desperate place.

I spent 11 years not leaving the house and in the last 6 i thought i was improving but now i'm back to where i was. The career I chose did nothing but shift anxiety from one place to different one.

today is my daughter's 18th birthday. I have never met her as she believes all the crap told to her about me by my ex-wife's conservative right wing religious cult family. ::

i know i rant a lot, but who else do i have to tell this to?

 

[Starry]

I'm feeling a little fed-up... Fed-up with people, with my back pain not getting any better, with various psychological problems, with so much...

 

[KiaKaha]

I'm feeling a little fed-up... Fed-up with people, with my back pain not getting any better, with various psychological problems, with so much...

Ouch - sorry to hear that. I hear you. Fed up with people too sometimes. I hope you feel better soon - somehow

I feel sick. I took 25 mg of Tramal yesterday evening because I felt so badly I couldn´t even think and it worked quite strongly the whole night, although don´t know if rather in the positive or negative way. I never know if I will feel good or bad after that. It really messed me up this time. I have to eat something a bit if it makes it go away.

You too Lea - Hope the sicky feeling goes away.

Just sending out some love to you alllll....

 

[Starry]

Thank you, Kia! ^_^ I'm feeling a little bit better now anyway... Had a happy, splashy walk with my dog and husband, and shock of shocks, somebody left a comment on something I posted on Facebook... People NEVER comment on anything I say normally!

In other news, I'm feeling undecided about the couple who came this morning to view the place next door which is currently up for rent... They looked friendly enough, and sounded fairly nice from what little I overheard as they were talking to the agent outside... but they're quite young and that means there's a greater chance of them having loud parties and having tons of friends around... Still, on the plus side, if they are like that, at least I can get away with playing music loudly too hehe. I'm just scared that intimidating, yobbish people may move in... And in all honesty, I'd rather have nobody move in...

 

[hoddesdon]

I feel bizarre

 

[coyote]

I feel bizarre

having never felt you myself, i'll gladly take your word for it

 

[GraybeardGhost]

In other news, I'm feeling undecided about the couple who came this morning to view the place next door which is currently up for rent... They looked friendly enough, and sounded fairly nice from what little I overheard as they were talking to the agent outside... but they're quite young and that means there's a greater chance of them having loud parties and having tons of friends around... Still, on the plus side, if they are like that, at least I can get away with playing music loudly too hehe. I'm just scared that intimidating, yobbish people may move in... And in all honesty, I'd rather have nobody move in...

I felt exactly the same way about the kids who moved into the apartment across from mine a few weeks ago. They're about college age, and it's summer, so I expected lots of parties and loud music, which I would have found intolerable. They made a fair amount of noise moving in, as was to be expected, but since then I haven't heard hardly a peep out of them. Maybe your new neighbors will turn out the same way. I certainly hope so.

 

[Graeme1988]

Slightly irritated that my new microphone didn't get delivered today. F**kin' typical! Really wanted tae posted ma voice here this weekend. Looks like that'll have tae until the beginning of the week now.

Aside from that vaguely content, I suppose. A wee bit depressed but trying tae distract myself from those thoughts.

 

[Foxface]

Happy to for (most) of the weekend.

My Sister and her boyfriend will be arriving back this evening, so I will have to drive them back into Halifax. I'm not looking forward to that, becuase I will have to get dressed again. I hate wearing clothes!

 

[Mehh]

Feeling stressed out and depressed.... I'm trying to fill out college applications and I have ****ty grades, no activities I'm involved in, no life, etc. Guess who's not going to college!

 

[Srijita52]

Slightly irritated that my new microphone didn't get delivered today. F**kin' typical! Really wanted tae posted ma voice here this weekend. Looks like that'll have tae until the beginning of the week now.

Aside from that vaguely content, I suppose. A wee bit depressed but trying tae distract myself from those thoughts.

I hope you can keep yourself distracted Greame.
Oohh! I can't wait to hear it, *waits impatiently*

Feeling stressed out and depressed.... I'm trying to fill out college applications and I have ****ty grades, no activities I'm involved in, no life, etc. Guess who's not going to college!

That really sucks. I'm sorry.

 

[Graeme1988]

I hope you can keep yourself distracted Greame.

I have. I've spent much of the day watching Scottish comedy shows; mainly Chewin' the Fat and Still Game. And listening to old comedy albums by Scottish comedian Billy Connolly. Just as a wee reminder as too why the Scots sense of humour is so unique, much like the accent itself.

Oohh! I can't wait to hear it, *waits impatiently*

Yeah, neither can I!

I still don't what I'll say during my voice recording? I was thinking about taking the same approach Billy Connolly does with his stand-up comedy and improvise for much of it? But then the issue becomes where do you stop, especially when it comes to the Scottish accent... ? The few overly positive responses I got when I posed a similar question in the Post Your Voice thread regarding the Scottish accent and boredom seems to indicate that folks on here aren't that bothered either way!

Though, I do have a basic idea but it's predominately Scottish stuff ie stereotypes (most of which are inaccurate, but very funny) and the accent. As well trying to breakdown the Scots language and slang expressions (no mean feat, I must say). And a few darkly humourous one-liners. (Don't worry, though! I'll prior warning of what's to be expected!)

 

[JuiceB]

Slightly irritated that my new microphone didn't get delivered today. F**kin' typical! Really wanted tae posted ma voice here this weekend. Looks like that'll have tae until the beginning of the week now.

Aside from that vaguely content, I suppose. A wee bit depressed but trying tae distract myself from those thoughts.

Lol. I don't know what it is but I've never been so eager to listen to anothers' voice before.

 

[Graeme1988]

Lol. I don't know what it is but I've never been so eager to listen to anothers' voice before.

Thanks for partly quoting my opening joke for when I record ma voice. Let's just say the Scottish accent tends to do that!

But, nae worries, JuiceB - you won't be disappoint unless you're offended by swearing?

 

[JuiceB]

Thanks for partly quoting my opening joke for when I record ma voice. Let's just say the Scottish accent tends to do that!

But, nae worries, JuiceB - you won't be disappoint unless you're offended by swearing?

Naw. Thanks to my speech impediment swear words are the only words I'm perfectly fluent in.

 

[Phoenixx]

Pretty good. My mom wanted me to come along and visit family today, so I did. My first cousin moved up from South Carolina last month and was living back in with his dad (my... great uncle? ), so we saw his family as well. I remember meeting his wife and his daughter at a get-together I went to a few months ago, but I never really talked to them until today. It was awkward at first, not only am I super quiet and a bit anxious, but they're extremely shy people as well. But then their daughter (13) ever so quietly started asking me questions like how old I was, what I liked, and whatnot and as soon as she discovered we had quite a few things in common she wouldn't shut up, lol. :: Looks are deceiving!

I still couldn't bring myself to have a full conversation with her though, since she was really talkative and I felt overwhelmed. I mostly just smiled and nodded a lot, occasionally adding input here and there. I still enjoyed it though, she's a really good kid, pretty talented (she draws a lot and also does animation) and for being 13 she's pretty mature and looks older than she is.

Apparently there's also a family reunion too next weekend my mom wants me to go to with her. (She also wants my dad and brother to go, but I doubt they will.) It's all people related from her great-grandmother's side, so I've never met any of them. I'm not a fan of family reunions, especially on her side of the family. A lot of them act like we don't exist and some think they're better than everyone else. I kind of don't want to go, they make me anxious enough and I can only think this group is no different than anyone else I've met from her extended families. Who knows though, they might be nice so I'll probably end up going anyway.