Mr. Jones what do I want to do in life? First of all, I would like to be a normal healthy person, like others, not a retard. Then it all comes by itself. Well not all, but first of all the person has to be somehow well adjusted in society, thats the basics. If you don´t have the basics you have nothing to build on. Besides how I am now, I don´t have any really strong aim, except of getting some (****ty unqualified) job/making money for things I need and traveling. What else also I should do?
Being healthy is ineed important, but you never looked like a retard to me, so at least online you're fine! (doesn't sound like much but it's more than what some people can say (I could include myself there
)).
Wait, you want to be well adjusted... in this society??
WHYYY? I can't stand this society, their morals, goals, points of focus, general behavior... ugh, I have to be part of this, but I definitely don't want to be like others. I say that as long as you're okay with who you are and you harm no one, be however you want to be and do whatever you want to do! =D If there is something you don't like, there is always time to change, and if something about you is not liked by someone else, it's not your problem, to each their own. Sometimes we try to "fit in society", but what does it mean? Try to be accepted by
everyone that's part of it? That's impossible! As long as you are okay with what you have, there will be someone out there who will like you just the way you are, no need to change "for society"
A job, yeah, being realistic we all need money, unless we really want to live completely isolated from this society, but that's not as nice as it sounds in the beginning
I have an awful memory, but if I remember well you had a job opportunity in Germany that didn't end up well, right? (if it wasn't you or it was someone else, sorry XP) If you want to go to Germany and you don't have much money, you can always hitchhike, it could be an interesting adventure! And once there you can try to find whatever job available so you can keep travelling or doing whatever you want. Travelling around the world sounds like an amazing thing to do with your life, lots of experiences and many many beautiful places to see, people to meet (okay, with SA the last part is not that good, at least for me, but the places are still beautiful
). You will need quite an amount of money to travel with more "conventional" ways, but you can actually travel around the world for free! People have written stories about it, it's possible, and if you also stop from time to time to get some money with a temporary job you can make it easier, and maybe even you like one of the places you visit, or meet someone you like and you want to stay there.
Damn, that ended up being longer than expected XD
Anyway, happy birthday! Hope you feel better soon, Lea