You know... I am really starting to feel that I am completely alone in this world. No one seems to understand me at all, nor do they want too.
Everyone here seems so smart and wise and have all the answers - where as all of my conclusions just come across as invalidated nonsense. I feel like I am the only one who doesnt have my **** sorted out.
Apparently I am too hard to be around. I hate feeling sad - because it feels like I am not allowed to be. I hate feeling dissatisfied because I havent had some kind of epiphany or life changing realization. I hate feeling like I want to sympathize with others but that its in someway unacceptable.
I am tired of feeling like I dont matter. Ho-****ing-hum.
Hey KiaKaha,
You should not say that Nobody wants to listen to you, ofc they do. in fact, I hear your story, you feel completely miserable and alone. I feel for your pain and I hope that it calms you down. You need affection, someone who is there for you telling that it is okay to be negative now and then. Sadly, the world is a hard check reality. But first you should gain confidence in yourself, stop thinking so negative about yourself. First clarify why you feel so wrong, what is wrong about you? Do you deserve to think so negative about your own self worth? Are you worth that negative thinking?
It's not a shame to not have many friends. I just came to realize that. I am in the same situation and felt miserable and still do a lot of times. But right now when I'm reading your post it's like you are reflecting me. I also think so negative about myself, like yadieya I don't deserve love, I don't deserve anyone who cares for me, why would they because I'm a negative prick. No, the negativity comes from a cause, and that cause should be so much different. The cause is pain, the cause is being alone, the cause is having SA and being extremely uncomfortable in the own skin. But that can change, first let the pain go, accept the situation and let yourself be, in moments when you can you would feel proud, then not want everything right away, don't expect to have friends within one day, that will take little baby steps, and try to help yourself alone, try to enjoy the time alone you have, it might isn't that much of fun right now, but it's strength as an individual. Believe in happiness, go outside in the park and sit there and think, why am I so negative about this world, and why about me? I didn't ask for no friends, i didn't ask for SA, I ask for better times, so why not just ask for anything, and just fight and let it come around?
And you don't come around as non-sense at all, you are a very strong person, you have strong negativity though that is here with no offence, I think you have a lot of negative thoughts to deal with, and I know it hurts to hear, but it's the truth. You have to change that thinking, by getting happier and I really wish I could help you but I'm there too, but I know life can be miserable and ****, but when you think of the good sides and only see more SENSE in the positive things that you DO these days, and the things that are worth to look at more than the negative side, would help you a lot.
And SA, is a big bastard, it's so hard to get rid off, but even though you have SA, you are still a complete different person, because SA is SA and YOU is YOU.
