Have you given up?

Have you given up on dating?

  • Yes

    Votes: 21 55.3%
  • No

    Votes: 17 44.7%

  • Total voters
    38

A friend

Well-known member
#1
This is a question for those who are either considering, or have given up on dating and all things related.

So I'm just curious, have you given up on the game of romantic love, or considered it? If so, how come?

In my case, I frequently consider it, and change my mind from time to time. I have several different reasons (I'll get flamed and banned if I say most of them), the most notable one being due to witnessing domestic violence for most of my life.

I've seen my biological mom abuse my dad, throw things at him, insult him, scream at him, and cheat on him with seven different men.

Now she constantly tries to sue him for ridiculous reasons, or get him arrested and put in jail for things he didn't even do. This keeps happening even though they've gotten divorced in 2007.

And now in his current marriage with my step-mom, she walks all over him and threatens to leave him if she doesn't buy her animals, which she doesn't take care of to begin with, and if he doesn't let her spend money buying expensive clothes.

As for my friends and co-workers, they've told me about their relationships, and they are identical to what my dad went through. One of them even decided to turn homosexual because of it.

Hearing about this stuff is just one of many reasons why I'm pessimistic about the whole thing, but it's not the only cause of why I feel that way.

Nope, there's many more reasons, but this definitely shows the hideous side of the dating world.

So, how about you guys and girls? Have you given up on dating, and if so, what's the reason(s)?
 
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Silatuyok

Well-known member
#2
Do ALL of your friends and coworkers have the same stories about being in abusive relationships? If not, why are you discounting the good stories and only focusing on the bad ones? You have to know that there are plenty of perfectly normal and healthy relationships out there, and to think that they are all horribly abusive is irrational.

I can understand where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do, but I just want you to know that there are good relationships out there..
 

A friend

Well-known member
#3
Do ALL of your friends and coworkers have the same stories about being in abusive relationships?
98%, but that's plenty to make me fully pessimistic.

If not, why are you discounting the good stories and only focusing on the bad ones?
To prepare myself for the worst case scenario, so that if I end up getting hurt (physically, emotionally, and otherwise), it will nullify the intensity of the damage and allow me to recover quicker.

You have to know that there are plenty of perfectly normal and healthy relationships out there,
I currently know hardly any, but it's not enough to brighten my views on it. My thoughts are, how do I know that I won't get hurt?

A seemingly kind person with perfect mental health can suddenly turn into a violent savage who has a similar mission as my mother; to destroy the man who loves her.

and to think that they are all horribly abusive is irrational.

I can understand where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do, but I just want you to know that there are good relationships out there..
But I've seen very, very few in real life. All the "good" relationships out there are ones that I only see on the internet. Everywhere I've gone in real life, I've seen the most miserable people imaginable, and the only happy ones are single.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
#4
Sorry to hear about your dad! Most women are not like that, he somehow is subconsciously choosing women like this and these types of women see your dad as an easy target.
I think you have to be careful in choosing your mate. Ask a lot of questions, really get to know them. Steer clear of vindictive, mean spirited, selfish, unfaithful people.
 

thegunners21

Well-known member
#5
I have. I can't imagine any girl willing to put up with me and my failures.

I don't have anything special to offer to them, and I'm not surprised I haven't been attractive to anyone.

So yes, I have given up.
 
#7
Wait wait.... so....women treat men badly too? I thought that it was only men who did things wrong when it came to relationships. Where are the feminazis when you need them to fight against this ridiculous lie.... My universe is being torn apart with such....such....surreality.
 

thegunners21

Well-known member
#8
Wait wait.... so....women treat men badly too? I thought that it was only men who did things wrong when it came to relationships. Where are the feminazis when you need them to fight against this ridiculous lie.... My universe is being torn apart with such....such....surreality.
lol I agree with you, but I can see this ending badly.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#9
I never really started. A fellow at work had to take his child to a birthday party with people he hardly knew. That is my idea of hell, so I am glad things worked out the way they did. If I'd made more of an effort in the realm of romance that could be me suffering at children's birthday parties playing pin the tail on the donkey.
 

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
#10
I've given up many times, but every time I decide it's all over for me, something happens to make me question that conclusion. Sometimes, it's because I meet someone who sparks my interest, usually online, or have some brief, insignificant encounter with a stranger in real life who happens to catch my eye and lodge in my memory, but who never takes any real notice of my existence. Other times, I just get so damn lonely that I start to believe there must be something—anything—better than this life of everlasting solitude. That's when I start cruising the ads on craigslist and signing up for dating sites.

That's when I start to dream, but soon reality comes storming in to rouse me from my fantasy, and I remember all the reasons—real, valid reasons—why I'm single, why I can never be with someone again. It's nice while it lasts, but ultimately it's just a cruel reminder of what might have been, had I been someone else.
 
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Unspoken

Well-known member
#11
I stopped initially because I was too anxious and stressed to handle something that's always been anxiety- and stress-inducing for me, but after finding out I was much happier like this I just decided to stay.
 

Earthcircle

Well-known member
#12
This is a question for those who are either considering, or have given up on dating and all things related.

So I'm just curious, have you given up on the game of romantic love, or considered it? If so, how come?

In my case, I frequently consider it, and change my mind from time to time. I have several different reasons (I'll get flamed and banned if I say most of them), the most notable one being due to witnessing domestic violence for most of my life.

I've seen my biological mom abuse my dad, throw things at him, insult him, scream at him, and cheat on him with seven different men.

Now she constantly tries to sue him for ridiculous reasons, or get him arrested and put in jail for things he didn't even do. This keeps happening even though they've gotten divorced in 2007.

And now in his current marriage with my step-mom, she walks all over him and threatens to leave him if she doesn't buy her animals, which she doesn't take care of to begin with, and if he doesn't let her spend money buying expensive clothes.

As for my friends and co-workers, they've told me about their relationships, and they are identical to what my dad went through. One of them even decided to turn homosexual because of it.

Hearing about this stuff is just one of many reasons why I'm pessimistic about the whole thing, but it's not the only cause of why I feel that way.

Nope, there's many more reasons, but this definitely shows the hideous side of the dating world.

So, how about you guys and girls? Have you given up on dating, and if so, what's the reason(s)?
Your father sounds like my mother, and your mother sounds like my father. I'm really struck by that.

Have I given up on dating? I've given up on just about everything, and yes that includes dating.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
#13
The relationship between my dad and mom is like that of a parent and child. Growing up, I didn't know what love is until I read books and manga and saw movies and tv shows.

I have not been actively searching for a boyfriend. I want to finish college, get a good job, and be more confident and mature before I consider dating.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
#14
Hearing about this stuff is just one of many reasons why I'm pessimistic about the whole thing, but it's not the only cause of why I feel that way.
You haven't had the best environment growing up and seeing your mum do that to your dad, but that is not how all relationships are.

I have definitely not given up. Despite my anxieties regarding relationships, I know that I can overcome it and find a nice girl. :)
 
#15
I've never considered dating/relationships/marriage/etc as "the thing for me". I've always found all that as somewhat repulsive & "common". So i've dug my heels in all these years, refusing to let society force me to conform to the norm. I hate conforming, being "common" or normal, being "fake", etc. I'd rather die than conform.

As well, i've always had serious misgivings about all that malarchy. Always felt that it would "lower" me in some way; or "corrupt" me. Maybe that's due to my neurotic over-thinking ways, who knows, lol.
 
#16
Haven't really given up, it's just that dating isn't really an option for me, personally. Well, I don't consider it to be. I don't think I'd have much, luck, anyway.
 

laure15

Well-known member
#17
I have given up. I don't care anymore. I can't even bond deeply with people so relationships are out of my league.

I've never considered dating/relationships/marriage/etc as "the thing for me". I've always found all that as somewhat repulsive & "common". So i've dug my heels in all these years, refusing to let society force me to conform to the norm. I hate conforming, being "common" or normal, being "fake", etc. I'd rather die than conform.
Agreed.
 

Klonoa

Well-known member
#19
I know a happy couple, she's my best friend and her husband is a pretty cool guy, and also a great friend to me. I see how happy they are together, I feel happy for them...

...And I want something like that, I dont wanna end up alone in the longrun, I dont wanna give up and have a girlfriend to treat like a princess.
 
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