Has SA deprived you of enjoying your teen days?

[darkrider]

At 16 years old, I don't have much teen years left in me. Soon I'll be entering into the young adult stage of my life. I look at the other kids my age, heck even my friends and I can't help but feel mad at myself for allowing my SA to consume me to the point where I missed out on one of the best stages in my life.

First off I never experienced teenage dating. Not that I thinking it's the big hoopla everyone makes it out to be, but I'm sure sometimes you wish you had a gf/bf in some situations. I'll never see the 'fun' in approaching the opposite sex, hanging out with the opposite sex or quite frankly having anything to do with the opposite sex. IMO, it's important to learn how to talk to the opposite sex in one's teenage years so that when they get older they could find their potential wife/husband. But thanks to SA, I don't think I'll ever find that special someone. I HAVE NO FRIENDS THAT ARE GIRLS. I DON'T KNOW ANY GIRLS.

Secondly, the fun of being around your friends outside of school. Yep I don't see my friends other than outside of school. Damn you Agoraphobia. Never went to the mall, cinema etc with them. Heck I haven't seen a mall in 4 years by myself or with family much as for friends.

Lastly, sweet 16. Never had it. Heck I've never had a birthday party in my life. I didn't even have a little get together at my house eating pizza, watching tv, playing games etc with any of my friends.

So yeah, SA has pretty much ruined my life. But it's not too late. I'm going to try to make it up in my young adult/adult years. And I don't mean partying and drinking and doing a bunch of drugs and having sex with every female being i see. Cause SA or not, those things just don't interest me. What I mean is SOCIALIZING.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

nope~
Even though I was agoraphobic and missed 2 and a half/4 years of highschool classes, was bullied, only had one boyfriend, never went to a single party-- I feel like my teen days were fine. Pretty normal. Sometimes more drama than other's may remember-- sometimes much less drama.

I was a member of all of the nerdiest clubs. I had teachers who liked me alot and learned alot about people, about teenagers, about life- even from the small dark room that I'd locked myself in.

Looking back on my teen years- highschool and college; things were so much easier then. No matter what, I feel like things were better and I had fun-- even if at the time, I was crying or by myself most of the time.
College was much, much better than highschool. For some reason, people liked me alot. (it might've had something to do with me having the most experience out of everyone- having all of the answers XD) I was still agoraphobic but that's just the way I am. I did enjoy the time I had there.

"The best years of your life" sounds like bullsh*t when you're a teenager in agony-- feeling like you're missing out because your life isn't like the (adults playing teenagers)highschool kids on TV-- but when you're an adult, paying your own bills, being held to 'adult standards', you'll feel like your life is ****ty and highschool was much better. Then when you're in your 30's- you'll wish you were 20 again because life was so much better!
It's the perspective of life. It's normal to think your life sucks as you're living it, but in hindsight, you'll notice that you had it pretty good... weren't homeless, weren't starving, weren't dying... some cool things happened, there wasn't as much pressure... and so on.

I'm just saying this as a 23 year old agoraphobic. I don't know everything... but neither do you. If you feel like you're wasting your life, you can either keep on wasting it or try and salvage it- try to do something with it while you still have the time. Easier said than done, but it's your choice.

 

[Phoenixx]

SA definitely has deprived a lot of my teen days too. I'm 18, and looking back there's still so many things that I wanted/could've done. But of course I was too afraid to do them, and still am. I've never experienced teen dating either, but seeing all that drama in high school, and the thought of asking out the opposite sex, made me afraid of it anyway.

I did have a small "sweet 16" get-together thing with a couple of friends, but that's it. I didn't go all out and have a party. It's not like me to have a party anyway. I prefer a small gathering over a huge bash.

Even as a teen, I still didn't hang out with my friends much outside of school. Occasionally I would go to the movies or to the mall with them, but that's about it. I never really went over their houses because it made me nervous (And I really don't know why). Now I'm at the point where I never go to spend the night. The last time I spent the night at a friend's house, I was basically up all night with nerves. The only time I actually feel comfortable is when friends spend the night at my house.

I'm basically at the "young adult" stage of my life, but it certainly doesn't feel like it. Heck, I don't even consider myself an adult. :: To me, I'm still a teenager and nothing more. Actually, I never did quite understand why 18 is considered "adult." To me, adult is like age 21 or so. But anyway, it's still not too late for me. I plan on making the most out of the 2 years I have left of being a teen.

 

[megalon]

I'm 24 now and I definitely feel like my teen years were a total waste. High school is supposed to be the best time of one's life, but for me it was the worst. I wish I had known then what I know now.

 

[Honk]

deffo

It's been getting better in my 20s though, so no complaints.

 

[Minty]

Honestly, my teen years were the worst in my life. Absolute worst. I do not miss them at all, nor do I think I could have done a thing to change them. I demand...a certain level of maturity in my surroundings to be happy and also to feel a connection.

 

[Thundercats]

I'm 15 and I feel i've wasted my whole childhood and teenage days because of SA. I've never done any normal social things like meeting friends or having a birthday party my whole life.

 

[Honda]

It was a horrible time.. I carried the fear, confusion and anger all the way with me to the first 2 years of college.. My teen years were a time where i used to go to school to hide from bullies and find ways to ignore their painful behaviour...

Not only that i lived in isolation during my teen years but it also made it difficult to communicate and live like normal people during college... I managed that at later times and i still feel like this nightmare has made me miss alot in life but its my duty to fight it off and become a succesful individual..

 

[Paahi]

Completely wasted.

 

[pebblesdundee]

Totally .

 

[MrJones]

Maybe...

probably

 

[Remus]

My teens were crap, pretty much like the OP describes. I managed to turn that around by my mid 20's but kept getting blips and breakdowns thereafter.

 

[Niteowl]

I guess it has. I went home from school and spent almost every single day from age 13 to 17 on an internet computer game, because I had friends there. Lots of them. Then the social anxiety began to affect that too, and eventually I found that I couldn't go on the game any more. It depended too much on being social. All of my real-life friends spent all their time on it too, so it was great because I had people to talk to who I did know for real as well. I had goals in that game, it was like it gave me a purpose. When I quit, it was at the right time because college projects were beginning to get harder. Now that college has finished, there is no purpose. All I do is walk my brother to school, and then walk back home to waste the other 16 hours. All I can do is post on these forums so that I can feel at least a little helpful.

Since starting secondary school I never went to a friends house, never had a friend visit mine, never went to a birthday party, never went out with friends, and even though I had a small number of girlfriends, they didn't mean anything. They were shallow and liked me for how I looked, not how I am, because of course, any personality I have is completely masked over in real-life. So they never lasted long. I wouldn't be surprised if I never have another again.

So, I think that for the most part, yes. Definitely. : \

 

[kihira]

my teen years were mostly ok, other stuff going on was worse than any SA, it was in my 20s that social phobia kick in in earnest and tainted that decade and the next

 

[Honda]

But you know what... Its a shame I didnt even think of doing anything about it at that time.. Instead I sat scared and confused and just sat there rather than thinking of a way to get out of this pain...

 

[fitftw]

When I was a teen I didn't have the grim deep outlook on life that I have now. Everything was still new and my hormones were raging. I had some good times, and some really horrible ones. All in all, it was life at its best.

Now, I'm 27 and have no desire to leave my apartment and I think life is pointless and everyone is fake. Bad things just keep snowballing, and I'm on track to be homeless again in a few weeks.

 

[mikebird]

NO!

15 to 19 was amazing... including jail! Best social days

 

[Moo]

Definitely. No amount of money could make me repeat the ages 13-16. After then it has improved a little which was mainly due to leaving school.

I've not done much of the typical teenage stuff. Never had a birthday party, didn't go to the school prom (which to be honest was no big loss), never been to any parties except for a friend's 13th which I was extremely uncomfortable at. I constantly turned down going out with friends. The rare occasions when did go I'd be very drained afterwards. Been teased by the boys, got catty comments from the girls.

It's not been all bad though, I met my boyfriend at 17 and we've been together almost a year and a half. He's quite understanding but it's been hard at times. I rely on him too much and it has caused a bit of tension in the past.

Most of my teenage years were spent feeling alone and absolutely terrified of the outside world. Not really knowing what to do with myself in any situation. It's gradually getting better. I'm 19 in a few months so I guess I should make it a priority to end the teenage years on a high note if I can manage it.

 

[mummylala]

From the age 13 to 15 were ok i suppose.. I got pregnant at the age of 16 so that kinda took away the rest of my teen years... My SA didnt really kick in until i was 19...

 

[userremoved]

IMO, it's important to learn how to talk to the opposite sex in one's teenage years so that when they get older they could find their potential wife/husband.

I agree with this. I feel it gets harder the older you get. Especially if things that are common sense to others are alien to you because you never learned as a teen like normal people.