Growing up, until the age of 15, I never had any SA. I remember giving a speech in front of class when I was in the 7th grade and my face turning complete red. That was the first sign of SA for me but age 15 is when it all went down hill. I was born with Pectus Carinatum (deformity to my chest) and had to have a painful surgery to correct it. I was always into sports and this stopped me from competing. On top of the surgery, severe cystic acne began at the same time. And to really make things worse I had severe plantar/palmar hyperhidrosis.
I ended up in the mental hospital for 4 days because I was on accutane and drank way too much alcohol on prom. I didn't even go to prom, but went to the after party. I nearly died and until about a year ago, I believed my death was inevitable. I really thought I would have taken my own life by now. However, I had faith that things would get better. My brother, who lost his best friend to suicide, was also suicidal. He was a drug dealer, addicted to drugs and suicidal at the same time. Needless to say, the police were at my house a lot and knew who my family was. I was always a popular kid, from kindergarten until present time. Not because I was a bully but because I get along with any type of person. But, my SA really held me back from participating in a lot social activities. I would lie to my friends and say I'm sick and stay inside playing Halo all night. I was sick ALOT.
I'm sorry for the long post. But, my point is this; you're still very very young at the age of 16. That's when things went horribly wrong for me. Stick with life, it's great. Things are not going to change for you over night. It took over 10 years for me to finally begin to realize I have a lot to offer to the world. You're going to be angry for awhile (years) is my realistic guess. But, make small changes over time. Work on one thing at a time. For me, I went thru the steps to take care of my hyperhidrosis. I had an ETS surgery to prevent my hands from sweating. For my acne, I had tried everything but recently figured out what works for me. My body had a shortage of vitamin B5 and now I take a supplement. The acne and oily skin is virtually non existent compared to the past 10 years. As for my chest, the scars and discomfort will never disappear. Believe me, I have plenty of scars all over my body. But instead of being ashamed of them, it shows myself and others that I have lived. I have been thru some unimaginable things compared to others. I receive respect for sharing my story with others.
When I was in the mental hospital at the age of 18, my brother (the drug dealing, suicidal one) told me "it gets better." Those words have stuck with me to this day. So, no matter how much I wanted to die at some points in life, I stuck with it.
Now, I am a 27 year old sexy man
haha. But, seriously, I grew into my own and now have no difficulties at all picking up women. I still get anxious but am slowly coming out of it. You need to realize that at your age, you have a lot of life to live still. Especially as someone with SA, you also have to realize you're more of an introvert. Looking back at things, I'm glad I went thru what I did and being an introvert. I learned a ton about myself and I believe it led me to be a more respectful and kind human who has empathy for others. As an introvert, you are more analytical. So, hold on tight as things will probably be bumpy over the next few years. But, take the time to learn about yourself and realize you have a lot to offer to the world.
Okay, I'm done. My first post on here and I have a lot to say because I have been thru some serious things in my life. Just remember the simple words "it gets better" and you will be fine. Good luck on your journey in life!
