Has SA deprived you of enjoying your teen days?

[Rembrandt Broam]

I can't really look back at my teen years and say I wish there were things I'd done but my SA stopped me from doing them. There are things I'd do differently if I could go back and have my teens again, but those things weren't really SA related. (Not directly anyway.)

 

[T T T]

I am 16 years old now and it is currently ruining it.

However this wasn't always the case. I have always been shy, when I was very young I was shy, but when I was 13-14 I made lots of friends. I was friends with all the popular people at school, girls liked me, I was in a band, I went skateboarding and I was out almost everynight (obviously nothing too extreme at that age:: )

However, after a few bad experiences, break-ups, peer pressure, bullying, and everyone changing around me, this farmiliar shyness came creeping back without me really noticing at first. I gradually lost every single one of my friends in the space of about a month, and became the socially inept person I always was.

As of now I have a girlfriend that I have been with for over 8 months now, yet my SA is worse than ever. She is an extravert, outgoing, cheerful etc, and I am a complete introvert; maybe this is why we work so well. She came over to me and started us off, and she has indeed brought me out of my 'shell' to some extent.

Nevertheless, all I want, is to be with her, and be my old self. So, I have enjoyed maybe parts of my teen years, but I have also detested myself so much through loneliness and isolation that I guess I was deprived of those times.

 

[FalseAlarm]

Basically. Especially considering the fact that I never really did simple teenage things like hanging out or going to parties and vacations with friends.

 

[HeadFace]

Wasted.
SA just. ****ed me over. I feel out of place everywhere. I'm never invited anywhere. I feel completely ****ed over and alone.

 

[BlackPuma]

I missed out on my teens, but not because of SA. In fact, considering the short period of time where the only difficult thing I had to deal with was SA, it was one of the least of my problems back then.

I never cared much for noise and extensive socializing, so SA was very little of a problem for me at the time. Occasionally it was difficult whenever I had to socialize, but never it was never overbearing because it often regarded 15min - 5hours or so. I was very happy just watching TV, watching movies, playing a good game, drawing or working on various crafts in my free time.

 

[bbpacifico57]

yes my teen years were thrown in the trash

 

[sucettes]

Damn right it has affected my teen years. I'm 19 now and it feels like I've missed out on lots, not been able to live my life as I've wanted to. It's not only the SA, I live in a very small town so there's almost nothing to do. I don't like going out here because this is the 'everyone knows everyone' kinda place and not many people likes me. I might be a bit paranoid but I know that A LOT of them talk sh*t and make up rumors. It makes me insecure and the SA is making me very afraid of being criticized. I wish that I could be strong and don't give a sh*t of what people think. It's just the attention that makes it hard, I'm pretty good at arguing and to defend myself but when it comes to doing it face to face it's hard. This is my last year as a teenager, I want to start living my life to the fullest... I'm not going to school, not working. I can't even go to the store because of the SA. How will I ever be able to move out and get away from this place?! I can't work because I'm too anxious which means no money. What kind of future do I have? If I'm still sitting here like a loser loner next year when I turn 20 then I don't know what to do... I just want to enjoy my life, and I want to start my own life. I want to do stuff. Sorry for having a little rant here, I'm frustrated.... ::

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

I think being a teenager is hard in itself even without SA. Ask any kid and they'll have their own issues that came with or comes with being a teen. Personally, i wouldn't focus on worrying about having "missed out" ... my personality/interests never matched others in teen days... because when you're a teenager there's all these things you're "supposed" to be doing and it all just is very typical and forced most of the time. It's better to be past your teens, you're allowed to be who ever you want then and it's a heck of alot easier.

 

[HeadFace]

It's better to be past your teens, you're allowed to be who ever you want then and it's a heck of alot easier.

This has been the reason why college sounds so much better than high school. But no. I'm supposed to "enjoy" high school. somehow -_-

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

This has been the reason why college sounds so much better than high school. But no. I'm supposed to "enjoy" high school. somehow -_-

Yep, just get through it i say

 

[Phoenixx]

This has been the reason why college sounds so much better than high school. But no. I'm supposed to "enjoy" high school. somehow -_-

^ Yeah I always wondered why high school was supposed to be such a "joy." High school pretty much sucked for me, I'm so glad it's all over. The thought of college isn't extremely appealing though either. Don't get me wrong, I still want to go, and a small part of me is excited. But I'm mostly just downright terrified, still, even after asking a few people about it and them telling me positive things.

 

[Luke1993]

Yeah school was hell being bullied and all that, never have had friends or a girlfriend and obviously didn't pparty or anything but I think things are definitely on the up for me and I think I'll be someone who enjoys adulthood more than being a teenager, which is quite rare I suppose

 

[Newtype]

I had no adolescence because of SA. I grew up outside of society.

 

[decadeOfSA]

Yeah it did.

 

[CaptainDaveBeard]

teens and twenties....sigh

 

[Mickery]

Out of all my regrets, this is biggest. You can rebuild a career, find a new place to life, have a relationship any time you're ready to deal with your problems. But when it comes to your younger life, it's gone for good.

Unless you stage a sort of early mid-life crisis to try and recapture it a bit. I've often wondered how viable it would be to live a little care-free, stay out all night, date someone young, dress like I don't care. Just for a while, just to get some closure. Don't suppose I will, though.

 

[Rot]

Somehow it did for me, but now I'm 22 and I'm doing some of the stuff I missed when I was young.

Nothing has really changed so much. I know I'm still young, but I think it's never too late.

 

[ilovenoodles]

It has deprived my teen days for the biggest part. Those were wasted years. But every single thing that i missed is what i plan to solve now! And i'm on my way. My example, dressing the way i want. It is still possible and i found a role model who does too and she is 38. I already refuse to dress/look the way other people want me to. This is your life so you decide what you want to do. And if people have a problem with that well, fck them. It might be said too easy but i have been through pain already so it won't let me sink even deeper. I'll try to live a life i feel comfortable with. I might hurt family members or people i know by living far away or dress the way i want but if i don't do it i might regret it for the rest of my life. And the need to live that life is stronger then the feeling of being accepted for now. Because i already met people who accept me for who i am. Even when i haven't met them in real yet. Ofcourse, i won't be able to go to high school again and be famous again. I had the change of the first day at school, the popular girls where talking to me! But because of being anxious i couldn't hang out with them anymore and another girl who is confident ''replaced'' me. So i demn know that it was me being anxious, and not the real me! Yeah, finding people who accept my problems and don't make fun of me in a way it makes me depressed is a goal of mine. The internet helped me to forget my regret of my wasted youth for a big part. Reading people's stories, watching their video's etc. You might live only once, i don't know and that's why i can't waste my future I'll try untill i die.

 

[v_coccotti]

Teen years totally wasted

 

[thor01]

Yes. I think so. But it wasn't only having SA, but also just my situation anyway didn't help

BUT, I think because of this. Part of me will always be stuck there. Its like since Ive "mised out", part of me will always want to fulfil it in a way. I mean I don't relate to what older people do ( I mean when they look at other "adults" and think they have to do the same to fit with society). Call this stupid if you want but I feel it keeps my spirit where I want it. I still feel basically like I did as a "teenager" and since the actual age is just a number of how long you've existed, and time doen't really exist anyway, its how I feel that counts.

And to me it wuldn't be important to learn how to approach girls back then for the purpose of finding someone to marry/have kidswith in he future. Because I don't want to do that in the future, and don't want to do it because its expected or the norm. BUT I would have liked to experince things with the opposite sex just because it would be nice. And do feel I mised out then because at the school time, most people start to do that. I couldn't because on top of SA and stuff, I went to an all boys school. However, if I were to experience it now, I would appreciate it in the same way would have then, I think.

I always wonder what it would have been like if went to a mixed one. Of course I was sent to the all boys one, because it was catholic. It wsn't a choice. However mabey it wouldn't have been any better in some ways. I don't know.
But I didn't like the atmosphere. It was very rough with lots of rough boys about.

I sometmes have dreams about starting school again, somehwere else.
And I fel in a way like I could quite easily go again now, and make up for it haha.
I really hated and still hate the idea of school in that its like a prison. Well, mine seemed like it. But I feel like I could go again and not think I was too old haha.

But Oh well as I said I am still in the mindset of still fulfiling it. I don't even look at people a few years younger an think theres a big difference. Of couse, I feel different to most people in general anyway, but I mean in terms of what label I/they are.
But I'm no sayng it will be fulfilled in the way I want. Because the same problems are there. But I mean the midset. I will always be in, and able to appreciate if littl bits are temporarily fulfilled at all.