Females Don't Take Initiative because..

[Etbow23]

I asked my bf out..does that make me desperate? :-( maybe i was.... I dont knw.
We were working at this restaurant and this other boy had asked for my number and he was cute but turns out a total jerk and i think he was already with someone. I asked my now.bf for his number. He told me later he was going to ask me but was too shy. I think jhe was lying, who knows.

I honestly would prefer a guy asking at this point in my life, but in my life the men who do that are usually the sleazeballs.

I would never ask someonr i dnt know well again, but i can imagine i might gain the courage to ask someone im already good friends w. Maybe not i dont know.

 

[Iluv]

I know lots of couples where the girls asked the guy out. They weren't desperate they just wanted to ask them out.

 

[Feeling_Nothing]

I'm always afraid to take the first step, had 2 relationships so far and every single time they made the first step, after that I'm confident enough to keep going.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I took the initiative that led to my one and only relationship.
I even thought he hated me, like everyone else- but he was the only person I've ever seen and was remotely attracted to (which is a BIG deal for me); so I had to take a leap of faith for my sanity.

One problem I've heard about from my female friends who are outgoing is that whenever they go anywhere and show interest in a guy; the guy always assumes it's because she's desperate.
She takes the initiative because it's her preference.
She prefers to be the one who chooses- the one in power.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

I don't think girls who make the first move are desperate, it was a question, as if saying why don't they. For me a few girls have definitely initiated and tried to "get things going" I guess you could say. The problem for me is that my social phobia makes it seem as if I want nothing to do with them. Once they initiate and leave the door wide open, I walk away out of fear and helplessness. Oh well, day by day.

 

[gustavofring]

I don't think old fashioned society laws of the boy must approach the girl apply to real life. 3 out of 4 serious relationships I had came from a girl approaching me.

In fact the times I took the initiative with a girl, most of the time it ended up in rejection. Probably because the way I went about it came across unnatural.

 

[Newtype]

I actually prefer having to ask the girl out. If a girl approaches me and I'm not attracted to her, then I have to reject her and I would feel so bad doing it.

 

[Agent_Violet]

if i didn't ask anyone out, i'd never get a date. no one asks me out. it's a curse.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

That happens here, too, but it would happen the opposite way if a girl fancied a guy.


Some would argue it's one of life's great motivators.

Probably true if the fear is rational.

 

[Invisibleman]

Me:Why dont girls ever take the first step?

Girls:because

Me:Because you're scared obviously

Girls:NOOOO we're not! its just....just because

Me:funny I thought women were trying to gain equality and to do away

with traditional chivalry between the sexes. Next time you see a guy you like go up and say hi.


Girls:*Absolutely Checkmated,Look away nervously*


Me: *Plus 10 points*


Ive just always wondered why girls refuse absolutely REFUSE to admit they are scared to approach a guy (not all obviously). I one time I heard a girl saying that she likes a guy but shes so afraid to go up to him.I overheard and I swiftly confronted her asked why she was afraid, and she responds with "NOOO im not afraid! its just im waiting for him to come ask me" she used the old tradition excuse to hide her fear. I chuckled.

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

Very rarely will a female initiate a date with a guy, unless she is extremely desperate? It just does not seem like something any woman will ever do, which leaves a guy with social anxiety disorder in a very difficult spot.

Hey, that's mean. I have gone up to men before, plenty of them.

 

[MikeyC]

if i didn't ask anyone out, i'd never get a date. no one asks me out. it's a curse.

If I had the guts, I might. You're a looker.

Hey, that's mean. I have gone up to men before, plenty of them.

That's what I was getting at earlier. A girl asking a guy out is not a sign of desperation. It's 2012, not 1900.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I've met girls who approach guys. It isn't out of desperation, however. They simply want what they want and have the determination to seek it out and grab it actively. Girls have approached me and I didn't sense a bit of desperation in them. I even have two girls who approach me and talk to me right now (I'm not sure if they like me, but, who knows). As Mikey said, it's 2012, which means that women aren't as restricted and as submissive as in the past. Women are taking strides in seeking equality, but there are those who do use their gender as an excuse to be submissive and those who seek to tip the scales of power completely in their favor. However, those two groups are of the minority.

 

[Aletheia]

^ What he said.

 

[Aletheia]

If a girl approaches me and I'm not attracted to her, then I have to reject her and I would feel so bad doing it.

Having to say no absolutely sucks.

 

[MikeyC]

Having to say no absolutely sucks.

Yeah, I've had to do that in the past, too. I hated it.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Hey, that's mean. I have gone up to men before, plenty of them.

Sorry. Wasn't trying to be mean, I was just wondering out loud, hence the question mark at the end of that sentence. Poor choice of wording on my part. :/

 

[bleach]

I was asked out twice by girls and accidentally rejected them both

the first time I was caught totally off guard an thought she was playing some kind of prank on me because no girl had taken an interest like that before, so gave her a rude response and she walked away angrily and never talked to me again

the other girl asked kind of as a hypothetical question, when somehow the topic came up among a group of our friends. I evaded the question because I was embarresed to be put on the spot in front of a group and wasn`t sure if she was serious. atfer a few seconds say said something like "I see how you feel" in a sad way and didn`t talk to me for a while after

 

[powerfulthoughts]

I was asked out twice by girls and accidentally rejected them both

the first time I was caught totally off guard an thought she was playing some kind of prank on me because no girl had taken an interest like that before, so gave her a rude response and she walked away angrily and never talked to me again

the other girl asked kind of as a hypothetical question, when somehow the topic came up among a group of our friends. I evaded the question because I was embarresed to be put on the spot in front of a group and wasn`t sure if she was serious. atfer a few seconds say said something like "I see how you feel" in a sad way and didn`t talk to me for a while after

Sounds very similar to some situations I've been in.

 

[doubleM]

Me:Why dont girls ever take the first step?

Girls:because

Me:Because you're scared obviously

Girls:NOOOO we're not! its just....just because

Me:funny I thought women were trying to gain equality and to do away

with traditional chivalry between the sexes. Next time you see a guy you like go up and say hi.


Girls:*Absolutely Checkmated,Look away nervously*


Me: *Plus 10 points*


Ive just always wondered why girls refuse absolutely REFUSE to admit they are scared to approach a guy (not all obviously). I one time I heard a girl saying that she likes a guy but shes so afraid to go up to him.I overheard and I swiftly confronted her asked why she was afraid, and she responds with "NOOO im not afraid! its just im waiting for him to come ask me" she used the old tradition excuse to hide her fear. I chuckled.

hahaha pwned.

women can approach, its just that society doesnt expect them to. its rare but it happens. most of them want equality only when its in their favor.
rejection can really tear down your confidence. it happens, you get over it. when it happens consistently its much worse and painful.