Felling so ordinary or ugly somedays...

[neko]

Why the hell that everytime I go out and feel well, like to the mall, I feel so f-ing bad when there? The other girls look so thin and they all have pretty long out of the salon hairdos and makeup. F%&! I can't put makeup on even if my life depended on it and all I can do about my hair is to make it straight and flat. I dunno how to dress cause I'm caught in an endless undeciveness since I reached adulthood (doesn't help that I'll be 20 soon) and I just dunno what to do about myself. I don't want to feel ordinary I LOATHE that feeling. Every other women look like a super rich professional fashionista to me.

Oh and how do those girls stay so skinny? Damn do they eat? Not that I'm fat, I'm healthy but fashion makes it hard if you're not either all bones or an hourglass shape. I'm neither, I have curves but I have small boobs and big hips, YAY (sarcasm if your detector is broke)! Pear shape sucks.

Sorry, this is probably coming out of nowhere, by someone you don't know but I need to vent, since it's something I kept inside for a long time cause no one takes it seriously. It sucks to hate the body you're in. ::

 

[BlackKids]

People never see you the way you see yourself. I have a low opinion of myself and find that exercise is a big help.

By the look of your photo you have nothing to worry about. Your a totally cutie and I like your style. Reminds me of kate nash who to me is the perfect girl

Skinny girls make me feel ill. Its not right or healthy.

 

[Luke1993]

You look perfectly fine in that photo, honestly you shouldn't have anything to worry about!

 

[P+G]

I understand what you're saying. I go through that too sometimes although it doesn't happen so much now. In the past year or so I've really changed my perspective on everything including myself. I'm not sure how this happened but I was so fed up about not liking myself. I know everyone says this but really try and think of the things you like. I always think "Wow, how does her make-up look so good." and I never think that mine does. But just maybe that other person is thinking the same thing. I know the whole thing about models is incredibly intimidating but it should not stop you from being yourself. Don't change yourself to fit what others see but what you want to instead. I know that's hard and isn't much advice. And don't hate yourself so much for being a pear shape, I am too.

 

[Noca]

Even though you probably won't believe me, you are pretty good looking. Listen to others whose views aren't biased because of depression/low self-esteem.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I understand how you feel. I've been having my ordinary days lately. Don't feel bad about having curves. I never understood why curvier women spoke of people giving them a hard time about being thicker because I've been skinny all of my life and people have always given me shit over it. I used to get compared to celebrities like Jennifer Lopez, of course not in a way that made me feel good. It started in the late nineties when it became fashionable to be voluptuous so if you were a skinny woman, you automatically became a sick freak.

Although I understand that we all have our days, I don't think that you have much of anything to complain about or feel ugly over. I think you're very pretty. There are countries where your figure type is favored. What is wrong with big hips anyway? I think big hips are part of what makes a woman's figure feminine and sexy. Plus, from what I've been told time and time again, men don't really like skinny women.

 

[WelshOne]

I saw something on TV once which said how wide hips are a sign of a woman's ability to bear children, and men subconsciously pick up on that as an attractive and desireable quality.

It's important to remember that guys don't all go for one type of woman. Some guys like skinny girls, some average, some curvy. The same goes for the rest of what makes you you. Forget about the people who show you disinterest, and remember those who pay you compliments, or 'check you out' on the street.

 

[missmary]

From what i see in your pic, you're far from fat, you're pretty. I've missed so many opportunities to do things just because I feared seeing other women more beautiful than me. It just ticks me off to see so much beauty; I can only take it in for a while, then if I don't get out, I'll become grouchy and sad. I don't go to malls, beauty salons, clothing stores, even bookstores, because I'll know that someone prettier will be there to make me feel worse.

 

[recluse]

I nearly spat my drink out upon reading your post! I can't believe that an attractive lady like yourself could feel insecure, but i guess that body dysmorphia is quite common amongnst sa people.

By the way being thin does not equate to being attractive, i bet some of the thin girls look at girls with curves with envy.

 

[neko]

Thanks people... It makes me feel a bit better, I just have abyssimal days sometimes and that was one of these. I know skinny thin =/= attractive but it would be loads easier to shop for clothes! -_-'

And yeah I feel very insecure. My self esteem depends on the days. Sometimes it's fine and sometimes it's like, well this post.

It really mean a lot to me that people here cared enough to post. I can't express how nice it is. Thank you, everyone!

 

[PennyLane]

Hey, I feel exactly the same as you....even today I had a meeting with someone at my uni and before I met them I stood in the toilets for about 25 mins staring at myself. I was thinking my hair is too flat, im too skinny (yes skinny girls question their figures too) and then I look at my nose from 5 different angles...crazy.

To prove its craziness, I used to wear my hair curly and I worried about it being to big, now I straighten it...it seems to flat. When I feel too skinny I put on a few kilos but then i'll look and think im fat so i'll lose them again! Its a nightmare.

I know exactly what you mean.....every other girl seems so 'in fashion'.

I just try and remember that I am my biggest critic so im sure no one is analysing me as much as im doing to myself or you to yourself.

You look lovely in you av pic

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Hey, I feel exactly the same as you....even today I had a meeting with someone at my uni and before I met them I stood in the toilets for about 25 mins staring at myself. I was thinking my hair is too flat, im too skinny (yes skinny girls question their figures too) and then I look at my nose from 5 different angles...crazy.

To prove its craziness, I used to wear my hair curly and I worried about it being to big, now I straighten it...it seems to flat. When I feel too skinny I put on a few kilos but then i'll look and think im fat so i'll lose them again! Its a nightmare.

I know exactly what you mean.....every other girl seems so 'in fashion'.

I just try and remember that I am my biggest critic so im sure no one is analysing me as much as im doing to myself or you to yourself.

You look lovely in you av pic

I do that with my nose too! Look at it from every angle. My only good angle is my side angle. You can forget the rest.

It started when I was little. My mother used to pick on me and tell me that I had an ugly nose because it was an Asian nose and not a Caucasian nose. She used to call me ugly and have my brother join in her chants. Didn't help that many people used to call me ugly. Family and peers alike. My mom doesn't realize that I got a mix between her nose and my father's. The ugly part of my nose I actually inherited from her and that is the part I'm going to change as soon as I save up the money. I wouldn't like my nose even if I had gotten shit for it. Sometimes, little changes in the nose can open up all the other facial features and created the right harmony.

 

[InDeepshit]

lol i feel ugly everytime i go out.. it's hard not to notice pretty people around and how effortlessly beautiful they look. Then i spend plenty of time on my appearance and can't feel comfortable enough or perfect enough

 

[Richey]

you look very cool in your photo!!

the problem is that we get so used to our own appearance that we start to pick up on every little inperfection that other people probably wouldn't think twice about. remember if you are comparing yourself to others you'll never win because everyone is different.

one thing i notice at the mall is how everyone wears the supertight jeans and people just look chiselled and have shapely bodies and tight clothes with the hair that looks like the people you see in magazine adverts. so it can be visually intimidating these days at times. i see a girl and think she must be selective and superficial just because of the appearance which is crazy but my mind wonders and diverts like that. you see people walking around with such bounce and swagger. it can be like that at a busy mall.

for me i feel i'm more on the nerdy side, skinny and 5"11" but then i see all the really tall guys who are ripped and i start to compare myself and i feel quite down about it. there isn't alot i can do except realising that i need to focus more on the inside rather than the physical. or i see a girl and think to myself "there is no way she'd like me, she probably has loads of friends and is content etc" ....and personally i'd rather not be thinking about this at all. i'd rather be thinking about an idea for a drawing or music, or science, something not related to jelousy and unhelpful thoughts.

 

[this_portrait]

I know how you feel. I've been insecure about my appearance a lot lately, mainly because of acne/acne scars and this stupid curly hair that I made the mistake of getting right before school started (it's naturally straight).

I'm thin myself, and when I actually wear clothes to accentuate what little curve I have, it almost looks like an hourglass figure. However, I find myself a little dissatisfied with it, because I would much rather have the petite kind of figure (not short height, but just a very thin waist). I blame genetics for my slightly androgynous figure, and it made me feel like a boy all throughout much of my teenage years. Unlike most of the other girls, I didn't start getting any curve until long after puberty started, so I guess I'm a bit of a 'late bloomer'.

Anyway, I can see where you're coming from. I can understand this need to want to have the ideal kind of body that nearly all girls want, because I'd love to have it myself.

 

[AlleyCat]

I can so relate. I'm often not happy with the way I look, and I have many days where I feel very insecure. I am more pear shaped, too. I do believe we are own worst critics and the little things we worry so much about, other people probably don't even notice (or some would appreciate about us.) I don't think you have anything to worry about, though. You are very pretty!

 

[meatcake]

It started when I was little. My mother used to pick on me and tell me that I had an ugly nose because it was an Asian nose and not a Caucasian nose. She used to call me ugly and have my brother join in her chants.

that's so wrong! ::

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

that's so wrong! ::

lol Yeah, that's why some people shouldn't have kids, but I am here now and there's nothing much I can do except for suicide and that is not a viable option.

 

[Interzone]

Your not the only. I always end up staring at the ground when there's a chance I might make eye contact with anyone passing by me at an public place.

Hell, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

 

[izzymarie]

I can absolutely relate. It's the worst feeling in the world to be insecure, and no amount of reassurance or compliments seem to help. I spend two hours getting ready every morning because I have it in my head that I can't leave my house if I don't. If it makes you feel any better though, I gaurantee that almost everyone probably feels this way to some degree. It just effects us more severely because of our anxiety.