Feel too unattractive for love?
- Thread starter planemo
- Start date
There are many people who I can think of (both famous & not) who have noticeable physical "issues" (whatever you want to call it), but they have love. When I look at them, I just see a loving couple.
I often focus on what I can't stand about myself, physically. In my experience, other people don't care/don't think it's as bad as we think.
I often focus on what I can't stand about myself, physically. In my experience, other people don't care/don't think it's as bad as we think.
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i feel that way all the time.. i've only recently realized that my insecurities about my physical appearance are definitely the cause for me constantly pushing guys away, & with those guys, i push away my chance to be happy. but i just can't seem to do anything about it, i can't even imagine that the things i hate about myself would be the things that a guy wouldn't mind. like my "wobbly bits" for example.. i don't consider myself to be "fat" or big, but those little spots on my stomach or on my legs, my arms, etc? they destroy me. that's why i mainly stay in during the summer, i don't feel like i look decent enough in a swim suit.. so the thought of actually letting any guy see me naked? it terrifies me. but sometimes i really do wonder, if a person truly cares about you, would they see all the flaws in you as ugly? or even unattractive?
planemo
Well-known member
I hope you are not saying that you feel unattractive too...
I guess sometimes we can be our own harshest critics. But where do you draw the line? I guess that's the hard part, keeping a balance.
I see myself as plain, or, dull looking – If an attractive woman showed some interest in me, I would have to refuse her, or, make up some lie that I'm already seeing someone; its worked a charm before. My reason? She can do better; I would only be dragging her down. I would like her enough not to date her, if that makes sense to anyone.
Do you believe that will happen? It's strange... we all tend to have bad self images, but sometimes others don't see us that way.
I think it is the most likely scenario for my future. Even if someone did like the way I look, my personality is just so...bleh it would ruin it.
Thankfully, I met my husband when I was young....age 17.
It was like boom boom boom: got Saved in Feb 04, met him in May, graduated high school in June, left for Indiana in July, left for school in another state in August. I didn't really have time to think...just do. That probably helped.
It was like boom boom boom: got Saved in Feb 04, met him in May, graduated high school in June, left for Indiana in July, left for school in another state in August. I didn't really have time to think...just do. That probably helped.
I've turned away many potential loves for the fear that I'd be such a disappointment. My personality bites..my looks..sicken me. I remember back in high school I told a friend that I will die a lonely old man..the older I get the more that is becoming a reality.
sullyS1985
Well-known member
yes i do. simple question haha.
Scrabbl
1
I think once you're labeled as "attractive" by people, they will ignore your so called flaws and see them as necessary (good) features that distinguish you from everybody else. So embrace your "flaws". They're what make you unique.
this_portrait
Well-known member
People tell me I'm attractive all the time, but if that's true, then why the hell haven't I found someone yet? I have to go on dating sites because no guy will ever take the time to actually get to know me in reality.
My other issue is that my personality sucks. It's not that I feel unattractive physically; I feel hideous when it comes to my personality. I'm too emotionally distant, and I don't want to get too close because people are lying pieces of sh*t and will stab you in the back. I don't need that stress in my life; I get enough stress worrying about whether or not I'll even succeed.
My other issue is that my personality sucks. It's not that I feel unattractive physically; I feel hideous when it comes to my personality. I'm too emotionally distant, and I don't want to get too close because people are lying pieces of sh*t and will stab you in the back. I don't need that stress in my life; I get enough stress worrying about whether or not I'll even succeed.
shore_of_glass
Well-known member
yup.
But... how different can other people see us? Much different than the guy I see in the mirror? I just can't buy that..
as for personality... Don't really know how's mine lol. Thus, must be a ****ed up one.
But... how different can other people see us? Much different than the guy I see in the mirror? I just can't buy that..
as for personality... Don't really know how's mine lol. Thus, must be a ****ed up one.
Yes, absolutely.
I've been told by a psychologist that I have BDD (another problem to add to the list
) and my dissatisfaction with my appearance is definitely the main cause of my SP.
Whenever I'm in the presence of females I take it as a fact that I will be seen as unattractive by them. It's a deeply painful, and I think damaging, way to feel.
I find myself becoming more and more envious of and resentful towards good-looking people.
I read the book "Frankenstein" a few years ago and could really empathise with the "monster" He didn't start of as a monster - he was as innocent and capable of love as a child. It was people's hatred and rejection of him that made the "monster".
I've been told by a psychologist that I have BDD (another problem to add to the list
) and my dissatisfaction with my appearance is definitely the main cause of my SP.Whenever I'm in the presence of females I take it as a fact that I will be seen as unattractive by them. It's a deeply painful, and I think damaging, way to feel.
I find myself becoming more and more envious of and resentful towards good-looking people.
I read the book "Frankenstein" a few years ago and could really empathise with the "monster"
He didn't start of as a monster - he was as innocent and capable of love as a child. It was people's hatred and rejection of him that made the "monster".
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